Panic Attacks Support Group

My boyfriend has panic attacks constantly. I'm having trouble understanding why, if he knows he is having a panic attack, he can't talk himself down from it. I feel bad for being frustrated when he asks me to take him to the ER and things like that.

He had some doctors that prescribed a couple of different antidepressants for him that actually caused even more panic attacks. So, now he won't go to a doctor and refuses the notion of trying any medication. His present way of dealing with them is either beer or sleeping pills or both.

He thinks (perhaps validly) that his regular doctor doesn't listen or pay attention to the symptoms he describes and he also doesn't think a therapist can help him and refuses to join a support group.

I don't know how to help him and I really want to. Any suggestions?

Post edited by: aals99, at: 04/17/2010 06:31 PM

Hello,

My name is kent. Let me see if I can help just a little. I suffer from panic attacks also, and like ur boyfriend I have made a few trips to thr ER only to come home empty handed. Panic is different for all of us but when ur in that state of panic u really believe in ur heart that your going to die. Even though we know what were experiencing is a symptom of panic, the feeling is sometimes to overwhelming to shake. Then there is the feeling of derealization where nothing feels or seems real, not even ur own existance. Ur mind just feels likes its going to slip away from you. Also like ur boyfriend, I was hesitant to try meds because they caused the very thing I was affraid of. To be honest the only thing that has really helped me was trusting in GOD and ativan. Sometimes the best thing u can do is to just listen and be supportive. If he is anything like me then part of his worry is that your going to leave him because of this. I know its impossible to understand if you've never been through it but try to imagine the most terrifying moment of ur life and then imagine living w the fear of that moment every day. Panic is similiar to that. Its unshakable fear and ur not even sure why. Just listen and comfort him. Don't just blow it off. Have him research breathing exercises so he can sway the attacks before they come. I'm sorry if I haven't been able to help much but I hope if nothing else you have a little bit better understanding. Thanx and god bless.

Hi aals

Kent has presented quite a few good points.

There are a few others that could help him. And I will list them , but I would urge you to get him on here as a member so that he can get some first hand help. We are a support group for people with panic attacks , by people with panic attacks and that will be a big help to him. Because he probably is thinking that he is the only person in the world who has this terrible problem.

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some normal comments:

You need to see your regular doctor and review what has been going on. Ask for a med to help you over the bad attacks. The problem you are encountering is generally referred to as - depression and anxiety. The best med for the attacks is generally something like xanax, because it is an immediate acting med. Taking an anti-depressant can cause the attacks to become more frequent and worse.

Here is a great book I got referred to by a therapist - "Feeling Good" by Burns - available in any book store , self help area for about 7$. It will do more for you than any therapist will ever do. There are lots of other books too.

You need to go to the forums (top line menu in the panic attack support group) > "medicines and treatments" > titles - -- on breathing exercises and calming exercises. They will help you to control this problem. They work. BUT, they take a lot of practice - possibly a month at 8 times a day for some. But, they do work . They were all submitted by the members of the group for the members of the group.

You need to accept that you do have a panic disorder. That is hard to do. But when you get any sort of symptoms from now on - you need to first think - panic symptom. Of course, you do need to review any new symptoms with your doctor, but knowing that 99 percent of new symptoms will be panic that will help you to not go to the ER so often. Symptoms change - you need to expect it.

Try to understand - panic attacks are nothing more than your own body reacting to your worrying and fears. Your body gets overstressed by you being stressed and jumps into fight or flight mode. That means your breathing gets crazy and your brain does not get enough good air. You need to slow the breathing down - thus - the breathing exercises. Have you ever seen anyone breathe into a paper bag - well, that's it. Too much oxygen.

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Wishing you and your boy friend the best.

Raoul

I agree with ray I have panic as well...get him the book even if he wont read it set it on back of toilet with a pen at some point. He will pick it up.. I just got the book....and that was a good way to put it think of the worse thing u have ever felt the worse physical pain broken ARM or having a headache so bad u think I really might have brain cancer so u go to Dr they tell u nothing is wrong its all in ur mind but everyday u have that same Sharp pain after awhile u think the Dr was wrong so u see another and again nothing is.wrong but. Man the pain just comes and goes all day everyday for months or years that's panic something is wrong with our.bodies but not really we r dyin but not really no matter how many Dr tell me my.heart is.ok I.have a.pain in my left.chest. all day everyday for a month now more.than likely pulled something.to be I'm dyin my hearts.shot.and.they missed.something understand.

I'm beating mine at the moment. I had really bad panic attacks around the Christmas period. Sometimes I would have a panic attack that would last for days. Mix that with not being able to sleep and working 12 hour shifts at the same time and I was an absolute mess.

I'm doing so much better now. I still want to improve and completely overcome it however. I can prevent myself from panicking nearly 100% of the time. I do still have anxiety and depression issues from time to time, but the panic attacks are getting easier to control. I feel normal again, which is great.

I think the important thing is to read up about them a little bit. Find out what's causing them for him. Help him to understand that panic is basically his body telling him that he is stressed. Ask him what is on his mind. What things does he worry about. Also, drinking and sleeping pills will only make things worse. Especially the next day.

Also, another key thing that he should tell himself, is that it WILL get better. It will pass.

If he really feels like he needs some medication, try asking your doctor for a beta blocker. They will calm his heart rate down a little bit. They really helped me when I was going through hell in November.

He should also tell himself that a panic attack is harmless. It's just thoughts. Nothing more than thoughts. It helps me to remind myself of that fact when I feel like I'm going to have one. Thoughts can't do any physical harm. Whatever he thinks is happening to himself at the time, almost certainly isn't.

I hope some of that is useful. He will be ok. As long as he understands why they are happening and what he can do to prevent them. It's a bit of a learning curve, he has to find out what works for him and what doesn't.

Breathing is a good one. Deep, slow breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth.

I'm exhausted, so I hope that all made some sense at least. Hope he feels better soon!