Panic Attacks Support Group

Hello all. I am completely new to this and absolutely freaked. The last couple days have been utter hell. It started at work on Wed. I had a total breakdown, couldn't stop crying, couldn't breathe, felt completely overwhelmed to the point that I can't even discribe. I had to hold myself up and brace myself against a counter. It was like waves of panic and anxiety that I have never felt before, even though throughout my life I've suffered from mild bouts of anxiety and fluctuating depressive periods. Needless to say I had to leave work, called my boss while sobbing. What made it worse was that while it was happening my coworkers were acting like nothing was happening and my manager kept saying things like "this patient is waiting for you" "You think you can give us a hand?" As the phone kept ringing and the door to my office kept opening and it was literally driving me mad.

I had my roommate who works close by pick me up and he took me to my doctors office (it was my first time seeing a doctor in almost 2 years since I didn't have insurance before) . After spending about an hour and a half talking to her about all the things going on in my life, she decided to put me on Celexa, Xanax, Klonopin and Adderall.

She gave me the Xanax for as needed during the day but told me to split the tab in half, it's a really low dosgage. The Klonopin she gave me to sleep since I have hard time falling asleep because my mind doesn't stop and I get more and more anxious the later it gets knowing I have to be up so early, and she gave me the Adderall because in the morning I do not want to get out of bed at all, I'm nasty and am half asleep until I get to work and shovel massive ammounts of coffee into my body and I can't focus on anything.

This is my 5th day on the meds and I had another panic attack today. At least I was home, but it was really bad. I was getting dressed and ready to take my dog to the park and I thought about something that happened at work the day before (which when it happened I had to take the Xanax and step out for a few minutes) and all of a sudden I felt like I couldn't breath and I couldn't move and my entire body was tingling like it was asleep. This lasted for quite awhile and after I calmed down a bit it semmed like everything was shifting in the room and things weren't things and were meaningless objects and weird shapes that were pointless. Just completely spaced out and out of it. I fell asleep after that and have felt just out of it since. Lethargic, tired, stoned feeling.

Tonight is the first night I'm supposed to take a whole 20mg Celexa. My Dr. Had me take !0mg for the first 4 days. I've been reading a lot about it since she prescribed it to me and it just seems like everyone is different. Some people have certain side effects, some people don't. Since its my first time taking an antidepressant I feel like I'm just having a rough adjustment period.

I'm worried about having a panic attack like I had today at work since it seems like none of my coworkers get it. Even the day after it happened my boss asked me how I was but then continued to get on my case about the stupidest crap and nag and even made a "grr" sound at me because I didn't write something down that was so insignificant to which I responded "Don't 'grrr' at me".

I learned from one of our other Dr's who is so cool that she actually answers phones and helps patients when she see's we're busy that my boss pulled her aside and asked her how I was doing. She told him I was fine and I was working hard and he responded with a "hmph".

I'm worried that my job is in jeopardy, especially if this adjustment gets any harder. I wouldn't be able to afford these meds without my insurance and COBRA is so damn expensive.

My roommate is helping me the best he can but its so hard to explain to him how I'm feeling.

Is it normal to go through this the first time you start taking an antidepressant? I didn't take the Celexa til much later at night last night because I was out and it makes me tired and stoned feeling and I needed to be coherant. Should I be taking it at the same time every night?

I'm sorry for the novel like post, but like I said, I'm just new to this and I just feel so alone. Thanks.

I can relate to what you are going through. I had a breakdown at work also, and had to begin medication. My doctor gave me celexa and ativan. Luckily, I was off work for a month and was at home when I went through the initial adjustment. Is it possible for you to take some time off? It can be scary to be at work when you feel weird while the drugs take effect. For me the strange side effects went away after about two weeks, but as I said, I was only taking celexa and ativan (similar to xanax). I don't have experience with the other medication you are taking. If you continue feeling unwell, I would go back to the doctor. I had an excellent doctor at the time who wanted me to check in weekly until I felt better. Sometimes people have to try a few different medications until they find the right one. I should add that after the first couple of weeks, the celexa kicked in and it was like a miracle. My panic and anxiety vanished and I was like a new person!

I so know where your coming from. the only meds i was ever on was xanax, i did not to do bad with that, not many side effects. sorry to hear about your panic experience, it is the worst feeling in the world and even worse when everyone around you does not get it. but on the bright side of this, so many people that you tell about this will tell you " oh ya i have had one of the those" and it makes you feel so much better that other people know how you feel. I suffer from panic attacks and currently on no meds. i have been med free for about 19 years. still cannot believe it. the attacks are less frequent but when it happens its bad and i just lose it. very scary i know exactly how you feel. thank god my husband is so patient and understanding. let me know if you need to communicate anytime.

Thnk you for the responses. It really does make me feel better to know I'm not alone.

Since I last posted I sat down with my boss and explained to him what was going on and he told me job was not in jeopardy for this reason, only if I was not doing my job.

Two days after that conversation I was let go. The reason I was given was my services were no longer needed but I know they will have to hire someone else o replace me and I really don't think that it's a coincidence that I was let go so soon after discussing it with him.

When it happened I had the worst panic attack yet that actually made me paralyzed. My fingers curled up and I literally could not move them. This frightens me a great deal. I'm going to the doctor today because my insurance is now going to end which is causing me massive ammounts of anxiety.

I feel so angry at my now ex-boss. I was feeling a lot better and working really hard, he had no other reason to let me go.

I'm really frightened of having a panic attack that renders me paralyzed again. I try not to think about it, but it's definitely hard.

Just know that God works in mysterious ways and when one door closes another one will open. Sometimes it takes a little while but his timing is perfect, try to relax and I'm sure things will get better. Focus on yourself right now mental and physical health.

Post edited by: FitLiz, at: 09/15/2009 09:40 PM