Panic Attacks Support Group

I haven't wrote in awhile, things are so scary. My EA ( husband ) is moving out Friday. I have the house & all the bills/ animals etc. I don't make enough $ to do this all. We struggled to live with both incomes.. Now it is just mine. I make to much for food stamps.. But not enough to live. I'm having to give up all the comforts of life & be alone. Despite all the hurt & pain .. Fighting we did.. I'm afraid I'm going to miss him. Miss my kids when they go over to his apartment. Please help me.... How am I suppose to manage this all alone. He don't want to pay child support because he will be covering a lot of the things they need...and he can't afford it. I don't want to be mean... I don't want to take his $.. But I don't know how to do this all....I'm afraid to do this alone. .. Is there resources out there to help me?????

I didn't sleep a wink last night ... Someone please help set my mind @ ease.

I think that you will be able to find assistance. Different states have different sets of rules and different means to help. Do you have to stay in the home that you are in now? Is there anyway that you could find a cheaper place? I know that when I ended a relationship last March, I was alone to pay the bills that my ex and I had struggled to pay together, but things seemed to work out. I have a partner now that lives with me and we pay the bills, but we still live paycheck to paycheck. It's rough living paycheck to paycheck, but that's just what we have to do right now. I am the same way with not being able to get food stamps. I make very little, but they say it is too much. I don't see how, but that is what they said. You will miss your husband, especially at first. You are use to being with him. Just try to keep your head up and stay focused on making things work out with your kids and try to be as civil as possible with him. Do you have time to do anything extra in the afternoons to make some extra money? I ended up last March having to pick up a second job, but I wore myself out and had to quit after getting diagnosed with chronic fatigue and ebv and fibro. I have faith that you can do this. I would call your county's housing authority and other things in the community to try to find help. Also, some churches are willing to help pay your power bill every now and then. You could talk to people at several different churches and explain your situation and see if they can help. If I think of anything else, I will let you know. OH, and generally there is a place in the town/city you live in that gives out food. It isn't much, but it helps. Keep posting and I will talk to you soon. Everything is going to be ok.

Have you thought about staying with friends or family?

I would call the crisis line and they will have more ideas for you. Also why didn't you plan this sooner or did he decide to just leave all of a sudden so you "didnt have time to plan"?

The first thing to do is some deep breathing to calm yourself. Then you have to realize you will get through this. You may not know how right now, but you will. I worked in Food Stamps and Medicaid for 36 years in Florida. One thing I have to say is to hell with him and what he THINKS he WANTS to pay. Open a child support case NOW. He will pay what the court orders or they will put his butt in jail. This is not the time to think of his welfare. It is time to think of your kids and yourself. PM me ANYTIME and I will give you all the guidance I can. Do not give up. You represent many people to me and I will not give up! ANYTIME!

I totally agree with Kildare. I was divorced at one time in my life and wanted to be the "nice person" too. I got totally screwed. So,yes, the hell with what he "wants" to pay. You have to look out for your children. They are your number 1 priority now.

Hugs,

nj

Kildare has said it all!! He is right...listen to him!!