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06/16/2010 02:58 PM

What is depersonalization?

cindersoot1234
cindersoot1234  
Posts: 1156
Senior Member

Could someone explain what depersonalization means and feels like? I wanna know if thats what I feel sometimes.Blink
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06/16/2010 03:24 PM
Tim123
Posts: 114
Member

My personal favourite.

It's hard to explain the severity of it in a way. Or just how terrifying it is (for me at least)

I'd say it feels like your in a dream. Like you can't quite work out whether anything is real or not. You lose focus, everything becomes distant, it feels like you're on autopilot. Not really able to concentrate or think coherently. You find it hard to interact with people. You feel lightheaded, dizzy, generally spaced out. You lose interest in things, and life generally feels dull. Like your senses have been turned down.

It's something I've been fighting for years. I can't get out of it. Sometimes it goes away for a while, but it normally comes back. I'm so used to it now, which is never a good thing. I'm having blood tests done to see if there is anything lacking that will explain it.

I just wish I had focus. I wish I was more alert and active and I just wish my brain would sort itself out so I can think straight. I know I'll get there in the end, I'll find a way to make it better, but it's frustrating all the same.


06/16/2010 03:38 PM
kent513
kent513  
Posts: 507
Member

Cinder,

I have depersonalization and I have said before that there are no adjectives to properly describe it but for u I will do my best. Dp is like being being awake in the middle of a horrible dream. For me its a feeling of slipping away into invisibility when everyone else thinks I am over reacting. When one has dp u don't feel real, derealization is similiar and that's when things around u don't feel real but sometimes the two happen at the same time and then I almost think id rather die. When dp hits me id almost choose being tortured over the sensation because it is absolutely the most traumatic experience of my life. Ur like this set of eyes just walking around, ur body is on autopilot and ur walking and talking and going through the motions without u giving ur brain the ok to do so. U feel like ur going crazy and ur gonna stay there. I mean ur totally aware of wots going on around u without really seeing it cause u have this fuzzyness in ur vision. I feel myself walking around with this blank but panic stare on my face when it happens. Its like ur slipping into this abyss and all u can do is go for the ride because its like quicksand, the more u fight the deeper u fall. I've said before that if there is a hell on earth I have found it and JOJO said it best when she said all hell breaks loose when it happens. Sorry if I haven't been able to give u a proper answer but as I said, I just do not have the words to properly describe this horror.


06/16/2010 04:16 PM
jojobear
jojobear  
Posts: 6115
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It appears to me like I am watching the world on a cinema screen. Like I am there but I am not. It is very strange and very scary.

Here is some info I got from the web: Depersonalization-

A change in an individuals self-awareness such that they feel detached from their own experience, with the self, the body and mind seeming alien.

Derealization:

A change in an individual's experience of the environment, where the world around him/her feels unreal and unfamiliar.


06/16/2010 04:17 PM
jojobear
jojobear  
Posts: 6115
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Here is a good site that explains the possible ways people feel during both DP and DR

http://www.panic-anxiety.com/depersonalization- derealization/


06/16/2010 04:38 PM
cindersoot1234
cindersoot1234  
Posts: 1156
Senior Member

Thanks Jojo that helps

06/16/2010 06:29 PM
NicoleLynn
NicoleLynn  
Posts: 1227
Senior Member

Just wanted to give another quick experience of my own personal depersonalization...I agree with the others that it is a scary experience. To me the fear comes from the lack of control I feel because all I can do is observe my body and its actions because I am not in my body. For me this can intensify the panic attack as well as make me feel as though I am paralyzed because since I do not feel like I am in my body how can I move it or do anything in it like breathing exercises or getting up to get my xanax.

I hope that this has been somewhat helpful.


06/16/2010 06:38 PM
jojobear
jojobear  
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I get like that too Nicole. It can also make my panic attacks seem prolonged. I have a diary entry about my worst panic attack ever. In that entry it talks about the worst experience with depersonalization I have ever had. Click on my profile and it will take you to my diary where maybe that will give everyone a little bit more of an understanding.

I was so out of it that I didn't know how to get the pills I needed, an ativan, so I swallowed everything in my vial that I keep on my key chain sort of just out of instinct. It was very strange.


05/03/2012 04:14 AM
mark42
Posts: 30
Member

Depersonalization... It's horrible.. People say things, think things, it's just like you can't make contact with them... When I suffered from heavy DP, a guy could have pointed a gun at me, I would calmly walk away, or would probably just start a discussion.

For me it had an underlying cause, anxiety..

It's hard to sort out wether it's real or fake what people say..

When I walk in the City Centre while having DP, I see everybody walking and talking, but don't realize that I'm part of it... However, other people don't know that, and find your behaviour a little bit weird.

During DP, people can just humiliate me getting mad.. It just doesn't happen for me, because I don't excist..

After DP.. I usually dismiss all people that haven't treated me fair during DP, and I just treat them how they treated me.

Post edited by: mark42, at: 05/03/2012 04:27 AM


05/03/2012 08:39 AM
Irishangel88
Irishangel88  
Posts: 4941
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DP is the worst feeling in the world, you can see and feel everything, but your not at the controls.
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