Oppositional Defiant Disorder Support Group

my 12 year old daughter has all the odd things. on monday i took her to a place called the teen shelter, where she will stay for a while and get some therapeutic intervention. she needed a wake up call, but she wants to come home already. when i talked to her on the phone tonight she was very rude to me and just wanted me to tell her that she could come home in a couple days. she's not ready to come home obviously. she has a mobile therapist but it was not helping. they think she has depression and she will see a psychiatrist. my parents are very involved, we live with them right now and they are super anti medication. i would hate to see her on meds too. not sure what will happen. does anyone have any experience with childhood depression and anger and meds? the past few years have been rough. i wnt through drug addiction and things really fell apart. i quit my job and moved in with my parents. after trying for the last year i am finally clean since feb 10. but she is angry with me for this stuff. i'd appreciate any feeback

hello there welcome to the group

I have thought of times about putting my son on meds,and havent yet but my brother has a child with issues and he was VERY agaist meds of any kinds till he doc exsplained it lke this..

There is a misfire in the brain,though we look and say why cant you just be normal the problem is the CANT part...it actually can be something that this child cant help..

I myself suffer from depression and it isnt a thing a person can just get over, it is an imbalance in the brain, so meds can help..the question comes down to this..due you feel that your child is incapable of controling her emotions? if she is lets say in town at a store or with friends can she control her self? If she can then I would say it is more behaverol then a brainn problem,but if your daughter is not able to control ersef you might really look at the med aspect...welcome to the group...

thanks for your reply. well i have had serious mental health problems for 20 years. lots of meds and psych hospitalizations, even ect (shock treatments) so i understand what your saying about the brain misfire thing. but with my daughter, she is perfectly behaved at school and other situations. she can certainly control her emotions, behavior and impulses. her mobile therapist, who sees her an hour a week thinks she is probably depressed and that meds could help. but she sees her only a sliver of time, which they spend talking about the bad things. but my kiddo doesn't seem depressed to me the rest of the time. frankly she seems like a spoiled brat. she is behaving wonderfully in the teen shelter thing she is at. no outbursts or arguing at all. very well behaved and respectful. now come on... you know what i mean? and the psychiatrist will see her for 15 minutes and he's gonna know whats really going on with her? i don't get it. when she is getting her way she is a very happy person. i have a masters in social work and am not qualified to diagnos childhood deprssion, but i just don't think so. he pdoc appt. is next thursday, if i cancel it we will have to wait at least another month to get in. i am thinking that that is a good thing. have her come home from this intervention and see how she is for a while. i think if she stops behaving like a spoiled brat, she will get much more positive attention and will be overall a happier kid. what do you think about delaying the appt.?

no I would keep the appointment,but I would exsplain your concerns and why you feel this is something else.as much as the appointment is for your child it is also for you to get to the bottom of things..

my son also when goes somewhere acts like the perfect kid,but it doesnt last long he has triggers that send him into a "mood".he doesnt control his additude .. with mental issues as Odd is conciderd it also very much is a behavirol problem... it has taken a long years o get myson to his place, but no matter where he is i will still come out..the anger exspecially...he has sever impulse problems which as cused problems with steeling and lying hiding and the list goes on...let me know how it goes if you go.. when does you child get out of the teen place?

I know for my brothers son he was very against meds for his child till the doc exsplained his brain is misfiring after he let him on one there was a diffrence..I dont think our children want to be this way they just dont know how not to be,and if a med will help them feel better of help with there life then yep go for it

It's only normal for anyone to feel like meds aren't the right answer for their kids. With your parents being anti-meds, that's understandable as well, considering back then they didn't have meds to cure problems. Heck, back then it was grab a switch off a tree. It's ok to feel this way. I have two teens. A 17 year old son that has ODD. In fact, I created this group on here to meet people in similar situations. The difference between you and I are I didn't want my kid to get help. I didn't want someone to tell me that my child/children needed therapy, much less meds. My mother wanted me to get my son help from the time he was little. I just figured he was a regular kid and would grow out of it. As time went on several things changed my mind. I found out that I have Bipolar and had to start a med. UGH!! Then the thought of my son having it...oh boy that was difficult. However, I took him in to a pdoc. My mind was set that he has bipolar. Come to find out that at the time he was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. He started taking meds for the ADHD. IT WORKED!!!!! It didn't stop his ODD though. Well to shorten this...he has officially been diagnosed with ADHD, Bipolar and Depression. He is on meds for all 3 and its UNBELIEVABLE how much of a positive difference it has made. Everything from school to he feels comfortable. Once I seen that he didn't have that stress on him...that sure made me feel totally different about meds. Good Luck HUN!! It will be fine. Just because she has depression and needs to be on a med, does not mean that she needs to be on it forever. Be glad its not worse like Bipolar cause myself and my son both are on it for life. UGH!!

the fear of med is worse then the med..I tell muself nah he is getting better,It is just he needs more rules,I can come up with a hundrend diffrent reasons not to..

do you find your son or daughter have worse spells during certain time of the years>(seasonal depression)? ours is Feb..during his brothers Birthday then after for about a month or two..and of course with our kids once they are in trouble it sets off for worse things..I remeber when mine was little I would try not to get on to him enless I absoulutly had to because I knew once I did it was a battle all day..his first reaction to anything is anger...

I am truly debating meds..this year will be the tale tell year for him..

when a child is suffering from adhd or any other chemical imbalance it triggers a bunch of things. such as anger. its like they can't help it. thats where the meds come in so the imbalance in the brain can fire right and he will be comfortable. i had to tell myself it was healthier for my kids. i was right ... it is healthier. ive never seen my kid so happy before and more comfortable. um, as far as season changes...yeah i can see that it has been that way. like for instance, i suffer from bipolar and fibromyalgia. when rain is coming in then my body hurts from the fibro and which causes some anger. however, the anger isnt near what it was without meds. i will say this. my son has been an angered boy all of his life. he is going to be 18 and now is on the right meds and he is no longer angered. yes he can get mad. but its a normal mad like people that are healthy. just think about how your boy must be feeling. cuz when i wasnt on my meds for bipolar, it was PAINFUL to be angry. litterally!!!! so the only way to let that pain go was to blow up on everyone and everything and without thinking.

THank you for writing and not putting it like many of my friends and family members do...that she is spoiled...she CAN NOT control it!!! We are working on getting my daughter all the help available but PLEASE do not judge these children...noone chooses to be this way...

Robin Byrd