I'm a 34 year old mother of three boys, currently working full time, and separated from my husband. I was diagnosed with bipolar and have been on meds for a year. I was diagnosed with OCD around the same time, but I know without a doubt I have had it all my life. I constantly count to four or by fours in my head, I always have to move my foot while I'm in relaxing, and oddly, I feel the urge to hold a book and gather the pages in groups of four until I reach sixteen, then start over again. I go through entire books that way, and will do this for hours. If I don't constantly do these things, I will become anxious and unsettled. Of course, I always have the same routines, showering, cleaning, getting ready for work, etc. I have extreme patience with my children, but not with myself.
Hi tahkitten. It's great to have you in the group. It is pretty common for people to have certain numbers that they tend to use repeatedly, or to count in intervals, or that just feel "comfortable" to them. Oddly enough the number I hear most often is the number 4. That was always a comfortable number for me, and it is also for my co-leader Mitzygirl, but I have no idea why that particuliar number. There are usually also numbers that people try to avoid. With this and the washing and repeating it does sound like you have ocd. Are you currently taking any meds at this time, or going through any type of behavior therapy? I look forward to hearing more from you, so please post here or private message me anytime with any questions or concerns you may have. Hang in there!
05/11/2010 06:37 AM
Posts: 39 Member
Hi Robbie! My psychiatrist is only treating me for the bipolar at this time. He says I have a good handle on the OCD, but I've noticed more and more that the anxiety from the OCD outweighs the benefits from the mood stabilizer and antidepressant I'm on (Effexor and Lamictal). At this point I'm pretty sure that my meds need to be adjusted, and perhaps something else added to the cocktail. Behavior therapy was interesting, but didn't get me past the point where I already am coping on my own. I am very strong willed and stubborn, and in one way that has helped me cope, but in another, it has kept me from recognizing that my symptoms are getting worse. I have recently found an outlet in crossword puzzles, but I didn't realize that it was becoming obsessive until my roommate pointed out that I will sit outside for hours, alienating myself from her and my children while they enjoy a movie or a discussion. How have you dealt with increasing anxiety, or other manifestations? Thank you so much for your post, it feels really good to finally find some understanding and compassion!
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