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Hi there, I certainly can relate to you because I am the exact way. And once medicine is prescribed I am afraid to take it because of the side effects. I have NO problem telling my children, family, etc. to take their meds, etc. and tell them they are "silly" if they question something, but I cannot tell myself anything. I was doing so much better for a long time and took myself off my Lexapro and Klonopin because I thought I was better. WRONG! It was only recently that a therapist told me that I had OCD and that was the cause of the panic disorder. I originally thought that the OCD WAS the panic disorder. That wonderful road of "what if" that I so frequently travel down at any given moment. Even a simple tension headache is a major illness or tumor. I,like, you am so tired of living this way. Unfortunately, I have a teenaged daughter who is beginning to travel this same path. I think she has had to deal with me so much that is why she is doing the same. Recently she was put on 10 mg. of Lexapro and had to have a ativan iv to calm here. Hang in there...I am trying to and we will get through this! |
Iconstantly fear being exposed to diseases and germs. Especially diseases. I focus much of my time thinking I have a disease even though rationally, it is not true. I do have Lyme disease, I found out recently. Now my OCD won't leave me alone and I am convinced that it must not be Lyme but probably something worse, maybe I was misdiagnosed. It is a terrible way of living, in constant fear. I have been prescirbed meds but don't want to live on medication forever. Does anyone else have this type of OCD? Please share if you do. 
The only thing that is funny with me is that I haven't had the flu where you and please forgive me for this one but the pucking that comes with the flu. I had had the other forms of the flu but for some reason it has been so long since I have had that one issue I mentioned. Another funny thing is I had not had a severe ear infection for about 16 years and just over this summer I had a very bad ear infection where I thought I was losting my hearing because it was so bad I could not even hear at all. it got better but still I was worried if I would not beable to hear again but after taking medication it cleared up and got better. I went from a trip to the er becasue it was so bad to going to the doctor for further checking because of the pain hurting so bad. My mom once told me she was coming over a mountain pass and had such a bad ear infection that when she went to the doctor the doctor said it was a relief she had not lost her hearing because she was at the verge of losing her hearing because it was way badly worse then mine had been.
