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12/05/2010 10:38 PM

OCD, DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!

jaymyheart
Posts: 1
New Member

My names Samantha. I have extreme OCD. I diagnosed myself after doing tons of research. I am finally going tot he doctors in 2 days! My ocd doesnt consist of rearranging things, or moving things, or checking things. It does but not too bad. It mostly consists of repeating mysself if I feel I didnt say something right, or constantly asking the same questions to my boyfriend to get the answers that sound right, in the right tone of voice to me. And if he doesnt say it right, or gets mad and walks away I get a huge anxiety attack. I dont want to live like this anymore. I have a beautiful son that it effects, like how many times I have to kiss him, or how its supposed to feel when I do. And For a long time I feel my boyfriend being very distant with me, and very cruel. He barely sleeps with me, barely kisses me or has sex with me. And I know its my fault because i take my ocd out on him and it effects him, and i feel i ruined our relationship, and my family. And I really need help. I wanted to know if anyone else is feeling these exact symptoms, and could help me. Every symptom I have read isnt like mmine, and i feel alone, scared and confused.

thanks

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12/06/2010 01:48 PM
at100
 
Posts: 108
Member

Hi Jaymyheart, my name is Arie, and I am a husband of an OCD sufferer. My wife has a set of symtoms very similar to yours, especially in terms of repeating things until "they feel right". Hers are actually quite more complicated than that (if you could believe that), but I won't go into details to avoid giving your OCD any wrong ideas.

I can tell you that from my perspective, OCD has been a torn in our relationship ever since it poped up its ugly head.

Some days I'm better with it, some days I'm worse. It depends on how much I can take.

If you think about how you feel about yourself (that you can't help yourself repeating things), and how you feel about your OCD "telling" you to repeat and do these things, then you can imagine quite easily what your boyfriend feels towards you when "you" ask him to repeat things with him having no control over when your OCD is going to be satisfied. He has no control over it, or over his life (similar to you), and his greatest fear is that the particular ritual is never going to stop, even though he *knows* it eventually will (as is yours - but in your case it is tied to some fear of future events, while in his it is just the current event).

A question for you (which you don't have to answer, or you can answer in a private message to me if you'd like). Did you have OCD since early adulthood, or did you "become" an OCD sufferer sometime following child birth?

In any case, know that you are not alone. It is definitely not your fault that you have OCD, so please try to disregard anyone's attempts to blame you for it (even your own). Getting angry with yourself for having it is only going to help OCD become stronger.

Unfortunately, there is no "cure" for this condition. There are forms of treatment that have had successes in getting it under control (certain drugs that promote an increased level of Serotonin - a neurotransmitter that has been linked to the OCD condition, as well as therapy such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). The real success stories as far as I've read are with people who do find in themselves the ability to let go of trying to control the world around them and trying to control their future, and find their way into spirituality ("let go and let God"Wink.

There's a lot more I (and many others here) can tell you about your condition, and perhaps even some ways to cope with it.

Take care,

- Arie


12/06/2010 02:48 PM
mitzigirl
mitzigirl  
Posts: 14085
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Hello Samantha my name is Viv and it is awefully nice to meet you and to have you here with us in the OCD group. I see Arie has already given you an escellent answer from his view of living with it daily with his wife. Which mine view is me having it and he is right about everything number one it is not your fault you have OCD and even though there is no cure there is help out there. Meds. have helped me and me being more spiritual has been a big effect to me. Because that term Let Go and Let God to me says it all. In order for me to step back and let God lead like I am suppose to I have to be able to let go of some of my OCD things and give him control knowing he is more powerful than me. I used to be bad about saying you know and you don't say. I have gotten to where I have almost never use either phrase. The world would not end if I did but I have control not too now. It sounds like it would help tremendously for you to get with a doctor who knows how to take care of OCD patients because there are lots of treatments out there that can help. Please don't be afraid to get it. We are all here for you. Many blessings to you sweety.

12/12/2010 07:53 PM
Teeny
Teeny  
Posts: 8
New Member

Samantha,

i know exactly how you feel! i do the same thing with my boyfriend and my friends too. i would ask questions over and over because the question never sounded right to me or the answer wasnt what i needed or it wasnt correct to my brain. i used to do it to my family too. what helped me was learning to read body language. i bought a book that teaches you everything about body language (of course any book will do) and i learned how to analyze meanings in tones of voice and such. it helped me so much to understand body language because i can tell what the other person is really feeling when they talk to me and makes it easy to fix as well. try it out it can be lots of fun as well.


12/28/2011 02:51 PM
dew3
Posts: 1
New Member

Yea, Thanks for posting that...I actually have the exact same thing. It does make things somewhat difficult...i find that some people can deal with it easier when asked to repeat themselves or more lately what they were thinking. I think that the best thing to do is to pray and then try your best to be positive and let God...actually...I'm thinking of trying that lately since I have been trying drinking and such and i'm scared it will make me an alcoholic...

Dew:Blink


12/28/2011 03:40 PM
mem7478

Hi Samantha, I am glad you are going to see a doctor. My life got a lot better when i finally did. It sounds like you are really suffering. I wish you relief soon. So glad you are here. You will get good support here. let us know how things go.
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