food addiction

I read an article a couple of years ago, that said something to the effect that people have lost their ability to detect thirst until you're near dehydration. While food is still my first thought, I try taking a big drink of water before I eat anything to see if maybe that's right maybe I'm thirsty and don't know it. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't.

I work two jobs. one is a desk job the other retail. at my desk job I keep a stash of food. I'm always snacking. The boss at my desk job asked me one day how I managed at the retail job if I couldn't eat all the time. I was so embarrassed. all I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and die. But I didn't I looked him straight in the eye and said, well at the other job I'm always moving around and working because they have a lot for me to do and appreciate my skills. I only eat when I'm bored. than went back to typing. he never said anything like that to me again.

what made it even worse for me, He has a big old potbelly and doesn't work out and eats horrible horrible food all the time and he's going to say something to me? It hurt so much. So I ate even more.

I just want you to know that it does get better. I've been there. I've cut myself, I've tried to kill myself. I was hospitalized for 7 days because of my suicide attempt. I'm 5'2 and at my largest was 215. I'm about 180 now. It gets better. Its' hard, but it goes get better. I've got a boyfriend who loves me more than anything in the whole world. And he met me at my largest. I've got jobs I like and friends who see past my size to my spirit. and somewhere along the way I found the self confidence to dump the "friends" who couldn't look past my size. It does get better.

If you ever need anything let me know

Thanks for your response. Sorry you suffered so much pain. I'm pretty much opposite. I'm 5'7, at 300, I'm quite confident, and don't really care what others think. I think some of my problem is most days I don't see myself as obese. It's when I go shopping and the largest clothing item in the store is too tight that I become disgusted with myself, or when I eat more than my husband, and there is no denying it affects your mobility. Lucky for me I do like healthy foods, and I'm pretty active when it's nice outside. I overindulge when I do eat, and chocolate is what I crave most.

Suggestions appreciated.

shelli

Post edited by: shelli, at: 09/04/2008 11:04

Let me tell you I appreciate you for your honesty, and your humor, and you will find somebody that loves you for your good qualities. And not all, like crawling on top of a bag of bones anyway. Cheer up girl!

Shelli

im new to the group. i can relate to food/weight controlling my life. I'm embarrassed to even go out sometimes, I feel huge. I got on the scale yesterday and I saw the wrong numbers and my heart jumped happily, I thought it went down a little, then I realized I was reading it wrong and it was 10 pounds more than I thought and I was devastated. So I still haven't been able to lose anything in months. I'm shy when it comes to taking my clothes off. I don't know how anyone could find me sexy with all these rolls!! And don't even look at me from the side or behind!! I feel so inhibited and trapped in my body, but that isn't enough to keep me from eating like a pig! I can't stand it! My mom sucks, she seems to think that if I hate my body enough that I will do something about it, like "don't whine to me, do something.." and my dad is pro-purging! Can you believe that? My mom thought he was nuts when he said that to me the other night, but he thinks its better than me gaining any more weight. Sometimes I want to take a razor and cut off all my fat.

Post edited by: Mishy, at: 09/05/2008 21:37