kbl
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I think we can all agree on that. I have developed this over the past 3 years or so and it is crippling my life. I feel so bad and guilty the next day that i will sometimes not even do what i have to do and just lay around depressed all day. Why am i possessed in the middle of the night? I feel so anxious until i eat something and yet so uncomfortable going to bed full. About 9 years ago i was depressed and under weight and not eating becuase of my apathy. sleeping at night was so hard then because i was starving but i would make myself feel that pain and discomfort, weird i know, but i was in a different place mentally then. I refer to this time because sometimes i feel like when i wake up now i am so "traumatized" or fearful of feeling that way that i instinctively eat. although i am not under weight now, at all, i am pondering this part of my past as maybe connected. but i think there are other factors as well. mainly my anxiety and unhappiness and confusion about what the hell is going on in my life right now. whatever, you name it ive tried it. everything!locking ffos and keeping the key outside in my car, locking myself in my room, sleeping pills, relaxation techniques and cd's, HUGE posters and signs to "go back to bed" and "stop", eating healthy stuff, just trying to drink, i could go on and on. I am now trying out my third antidepressant. So i will see what happens. i would love to get this forum more active and share thoughts and ideas. 
hopefully we can help each other. |
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