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05/25/2012 05:15 PM

$*%&^ you, NDPH(page 2)

MOHopefulMom
 
Posts: 55
Member

I should probably preface this post with an apology; this time of year - graduation - is always a very sad time for me, since NDPH took that away from my daughter. I tend to think about all the things she missed, including graduation. And you will all probably think I'm just awful, but I have to admit, it makes me a little sad that my daughter didn't have the chance to have anyone do anything so mean to her as label her in that way - or any other way, either - in a yearbook, since she wasn't able to stay in school, and believe me, it wasn't for lack of trying. We just didn't get much help from our high school to allow her to miss when her headaches were at their worst, and even on her best days, she was still at a 6-7.

I do think it was awful, the labels they put on your kids, and I know it would have angered me beyond belief, too, if we had had that experience. But maybe if you can focus on all the good things that your kids did get to do - still keeping up friendships in school, maybe participating in school dances or other activities, going through all the rites of passage like dating and even breaking up, or getting a first kiss - maybe the fact that NDPH didn't take those experiences away from your kids will help.

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05/27/2012 02:18 PM
ACsmom
ACsmomPosts: 400
Member

Dear MOHopefulMom. My heart went out to you when I read your post. No need to apologize. All of us moms on the Forum understand how you feel.

Wishing you and your daughter all the best!!


05/27/2012 03:55 PM
LisaLkCty619
LisaLkCty619  
Posts: 98
Member

HopefulMom--I am so sorry that this brought up some negative feelings for you. Like you, I was just venting. No apology necessary. I know we all struggle with feelings like this. These are all so new to me, as the NDPH is still rather new to us too.

We are extremely lucky that Sarah's school allowed her to miss more days than should be allowed and made accomodations for her. It is a private Christian school, and she has been there since third grade. I work there as well, and there is such a family atmosphere that exists. They genuinely love and care for her, and have watched this take her bit by bit. She has a place she can go and lay down, and her teachers have been very understanding in letting her make up work and turn in things late if she has been unable to complete assignments.

She is handling it all with a smile. It is me that has a hard time seeing her suffer.

Thank you so much for all of the positive comments!


05/28/2012 05:04 PM
tortoisegirl
tortoisegirlPosts: 3240
Group Leader

Its great that Sarah's school has been able to do so much. I can't believe some school's can't go beyond the rules and make reasonable accommodations (which are actually required by law under a 504 plan). Best wishes.

05/28/2012 06:06 PM
MOHopefulMom
 
Posts: 55
Member

ACsmom, thank you so much for your kind words. As you and all of the other moms all know, it is tough to watch our kids having to deal with all of this and be so limited in what we can do to help. As Lisa said, I imagine that there are a lot of times that our kids do better with this stuff than we moms do.

Lisa, not to worry. I think that all of us have times when others' posts stir up difficult feelings, but that's just part of being on a board like this where we all are facing challenges. And really, these are feelings that were with me even before your post; please don't feel that there's any need for you to feel bad about any of that, or that I do, either. I just thought that maybe looking at it in another way might be helpful.

Our school was just too rigid and set, and after a certain number of absences due to headaches, they kicked my daughter - an honors student - out of school. And as sad as I am about my daughter's experience, I'm really, truly glad that others have had better luck with their schools, including Sarah. I hope that the summer months will bring her lots of happy experiences that will make things easier on both of you.


05/29/2012 01:19 AM
ACsmom
ACsmomPosts: 400
Member

Hi again MOHopefulMom. I agree with Kate. I don't understand how the school could have legally kicked your daughter out? AC had a 504 plan which allowed for accommodations. She needed that, as she missed 205 days of high school (that included 3 rounds of home-hospital schooling). She was still allowed to take some advanced placement classes and graduated with her class. She wouldn't have been able to do it without the flexibility of the 504 plan, and teachers who were understanding.

I hope your daughter's school will reconsider their decision, and that she can get a 504 plan that is suited to her needs.

Hang in there! Wishing you the best.


05/29/2012 11:46 AM
MOHopefulMom
 
Posts: 55
Member

Thank you, ACsmom. This actually happened with my daughter almost 6 years ago now, so she's beyond high school age now. I wish I had known about this at that time, but as bad as her head pain was, I'm not sure if she would have been able to do it even with the accommodations. Would have been nice to have had the option, though, and to have had it be her choice rather than the school's if she was going to quit school.

My daughter's teachers were mostly very kind, but the school district had their policy and had no interest in making special arrangements for her. It was pretty tough on both of us at the time that this all happened, and in spite of her efforts to hide it, I still see the look in her eyes when prom and graduation time come around each year. She doesn't complain or talk about it, but I know that it still hurts that those are experiences she'll never have. And we both know that it could be much worse, but it's still pretty sad. As tough as high school can be on kids - especially those who have anything that sets them apart from the rest (like headaches) - I think it's such an important part of the growing up process. I'm so glad that AC was able to stay in school and graduate with her classmates. And I hope that school districts all over the place will be more accommodating to kids like ours who do have special issues.

Thanks again, ACsmom. Take care.


05/29/2012 10:39 PM
ACsmom
ACsmomPosts: 400
Member

Hi again MOHopefulMom. I hope that Kate gets a lot of relief from the permanent stimulator (if she decides to go that route). That way, she can have more of the typical experiences that kids her age have. It is sad that she didn't get to go to prom and graduation! I'm hoping for pain free days for your daughter!

Take care.

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