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04/15/2011 08:07 AM

Am I a burden?

bebes
bebes  
Posts: 309
Member

I try very d_____d hard to be independent and even supportive of others when I can so I get galled when I hear someone telling another that they can't do something because they had to look after me. Ok. Maybe when I'm in the hospital it changes things, but I often go grocery shopping, etc. for myself. When someone feels burdened by me being here I'm not going to want to stick around, it depresses me. I deal with it ok most of the time but just wanted to vent today.

Anybody else have this issue?

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04/15/2011 08:39 AM
wornouteach
wornouteach  
Posts: 194
Member

Huh? You're no burden to me! Lol Pretty good asset I think! (Did I spell that right?)lol

04/15/2011 11:37 AM
GinaTay
GinaTay  
Posts: 44
Member

You are not a burden and if the people helping you do not have a problem with it then overlook the negative things people say. Most people want what they want when they want it. The person who made that statement may not understand, may be jealous or just plain selfish. We all need someone and there are times that may be inconvenient when anyone is need. Our health does not send us a notice where we can pre-date our needs. I have always told my children "Unhappy people always do and say unhappy things". Surround yourself with positive people and if someone says something negative understand that you are not the one with the issue. At least we can take medication for what is wrong with us (even if it doesn't work half of the time). LOL! Bear Hugs!

04/16/2011 05:38 AM
bebes
bebes  
Posts: 309
Member

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a convenient excuse for them to skip what they didn't want to do in the first place, that or a convenient scapegoat for their failure to do something. Logically I don't see myself as a burden, but logic and feelings don't always match each other.

This desire to not be a burden has a couple of times motivated me to clean up my clutter so when I'm gone nobody else will be burdened with the decisions of sentimentality and utility. When you have a disease with part of its name "Gravis" it changes your perspective.


04/18/2011 07:28 PM
mem9478

Bebes said, "...Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a convenient excuse for them to skip what they didn't want to do in the first place, that or a convenient scapegoat for their failure to do something..."

Those would be my sentiments! Cool


04/18/2011 07:37 PM
santos63
santos63  
Posts: 2524
Senior Member

I know I'm a burden, the other day, my hubby who is normally very supportive told me I need full time care. I told him I was upset and he had hurt my feelings. But the fact is, his income has decreased by half because he takes care of me.

So, I feel bad, if he decides I'm too much trouble, I will leave and go hide in the mountains where nobody can put me in an institution.


04/19/2011 02:52 PM
tryingtolearn
Posts: 9
New Member

My exact words to my wife is "your a burden". This was before I really did any research about the disease. I have to tell you that I feel awful now. I don't know what the other person was going thru at that time but give them the benefit of the doubt. I'm not excusing their behavior but it's hard sometimes. Venting is awesome on this forum because we're all dealing with or helping someone who was dealt a bad hand. Yell at me!! LOL. I was the ultimate worst husband in the world until God lead me to this forum. Take care. By the way, your post on here have been terific for me. thought I would let you know.

04/28/2011 01:45 PM
realness1
Posts: 15
New Member

I read these post and called My Mother in to listen to what you all wrote. I never knew that I was a burden. I know that I would ask members of My family to do things for Me. I have been told I am lazy and I just want people to do things for Me. I cried a lot wondering why they would think that. So I asked Her. Am I a burden? She said no but I should try to do more things for Myself. I didnt know how to take that. Should I? I personally think I do what I can. So, it seems they (My family) still dont understand that I only ask when I absolutely have to. I dont want to say, can you do this for Me because My muscles are in soo much pain. I just dont want to put all the details out all the time. LOl Im sure others will agree. Well..hang in there. I know I have no choice.

04/28/2011 05:14 PM
MGHouston
 
Posts: 19
New Member

People don't see us a real people. I have been so angry the last few days. My sisterinlaw called my daughter-in-law ask her to come and help put up pictures in the house and then they went to lunch Hello. Am I such a burden? I live 1 mile from both they can't even ask if I would like to come and visit and go to lunch. I feel I am to much of a burden to take anywhere. I can still walk some with cane,walker I would love to go out to lunch, maybe it is because my face is fat my eyes droop sometimes I can't talk very well, but we are people and we need friends that understand our illness. I have told all my family to look up MG on the computer so they can understand us more. MY son had his wife's family over on sat. before Easter then he had us over sun. just his dad and I. Am I a burden are do I look to bad to be with other people? Living with MG Pinch

04/28/2011 06:38 PM
superjk
 
Posts: 14
Member

Burden...... I don't like that word. If someone thinks your a burden then they have no idea what is like to be an Mger ( i have people that i hate and I wouldn't even wish Mg on them).. They need to be educated. I'm sorry i have read about husbands, wife, family, friends not being there well. I only have my 13 yr old son and four really close friends. And they never think that im a burden. They have educated themselves as to what Mg is and what it does... If someone really wants to be a supportive person for you, then the word burden should never come in to the mix..

Bad situation but i think it helps understand burden, I had to be put in a medical coma in 2009.. My best friend walked into the ICU not knowing what was going on. And look at me and took legal custody of my son. Didn't even think twice. She tells me that she would do it again in a minute. BURDEN UGLY WORD !!!!!!!! My friends and "family " have never made me feel like a burden. And if your friends and family can't love you for you.. Keep this in mind " Do you think they could last one day in your shoes ??"

It takes enough to cope with this daily... Don't let anyone steal your smile.

This is an example I use alot for people that just don't get it.. I have dysphagia really bad when its bad. And I live in Colo so I drink lot of water. And I have times where I get in very little water a day, but people that don't have dysphagia or never have don't have clue.

So i tell them to take a clear glass so that you can see the water or pop ( whatever they like ) in the glass. I tell them to fill the glass and then sit it next to them. And everytime that they want a drink, I tell them they they have to tell themself "I can't drink that, I will aspirate or thats going to come out my nose. And after about a day of that I have had people actually come up to me and say if thats even a part of what you deal with. They want no part of it. Had some of the people i work with do it and, let's just say. They had a new respect for me and that I try and be as normal as I can.

Sorry to kind of rant but... MG sucks. LOVE to all

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