Multiple Personalities Support Group

I talk to my self all the time. sometimes I feel like there is a kind side of me, a wild side, an angry side, and a crazy side. I don't want to go to my doc about this cause I have kids. anyway, I don't here noises, I don't see things that aren't there. but I do have conversations with myself all the time. I even answer myself. Once I went to a preacher for counsling for my abuse. He wanted me to tell the little girl inside me that i was safe now and that it was not my fault. I tried and tried. but I don't like her, and she really hates me. I hate her for telling, and she hates me for being a woose. the preacher asked me if i had multiple personalities. he said that he had never heard that response before. however, if I do. there is no way, I am going to see a doc. i have enough diagnosis as it is. thanks for answering my questions

Without having professional help to diagnose it, there is no way to know for sure, unless you have someone inside that is willing to come out and state it to you. What do you think? Do you feel that you could ahve "others" inside? Trust your feelings, they will usually lead you the right way. One of the most recognizeable signs is lapses in memory, especially during childhood. Do you commonly forget the names of those that are close to you? Are there people that know you, and you cannot place where you know them from, but they seem fimilar somehow? DO you find yourself in places that you cannot remember how you got there? Answering yes to these questions would generally indicate that you are a multiple.

In my belief, multiplicity exisist on a spectrum. On one end you have the everyday normal people that act differently when around different people. THey have the person that they are at work, the person around their friends, and the one around their family. THe person is aware of these different aspects of their personality, but they are distinct enough that they only manifest when certian stimuli are present. They might have trouble intergrating the various aspects of their life. Work is seperate from family and friends are seperate from work and family. IF a co-worker was to stop by their house to pick up something, they could have a delima on their hands, as the family person does not know how to handle the work aspect.

On the other extreeme are those that are so seperated that every aspect of their life is seperated into different personalities. These individuals are not aware of each other and will make up the details that they do not remember. tthey truely believe what they have made up even when presented with the truth that contridicts what they think. Most multiples fit somewhere inbetween.

"I don't like her, and she really hates me. I hate her for telling, and she hates me for being a woose. "

THis statement wouldf make me wonder if there was not something more literal to your innerchild. IF so, allowing her to express those feelings and still acepting her, is going to take you a long way in healing. She tursts you enough to call you a woose. It takes a lot of guts, for a small child to call an adult by such a negative term. However, acknowledging the fact that she has the right to feel that way helps.

Brenda

brenda, I don't understand what you mean y if ther was not something more literal to your inner child. what does literal mean.

I was refering to the fact that maybe instead of being an inner child, that there might actually be a child inside. Sorry for the confusion.

that's ok. I have great news by the description you have given me I do not have mp. I pretty much remember my days. I mean I have a horrible memory, but not the way you were talking. I guess i just talk to myself cause I know that i am the only one that won't hurt me.

It could be that, or if not, maybe your system would be closer to that of thesealedspring's. She hardly ever switches. Either way, trust your instincts. If you feel that you are, then it would be safe to assume that you are.

Brenda

Also it is kind of hard to know how much you really remember. I know I have MPD and I've known for half of my life but I just only found out this Easter that I didn't remember Easter. I had to call my brother to ask about our Easters as children. Sometimes you don't know what you know or remember until someone asks you a certain question or you are triggered. I have memories from most of the years of my life, I could sketch an outline and to most people there wouldn't be a lot of gaps...but there are huge gaps that become apparent when you speak to the other people in my life. Gaps I still don't even notice. Everyone's system is different and it's hard to say if you are or aren't unless like Brenda said someone marches out and announces it to you. Your decription of the way you and your inner child feel about each other would be something you would want to investigate. I agree with Brenda that it sounds like you are talking about a literal child. The child who suffered. From what I've read your inner child usually doesn't call you names unless it is a literal child living within you. That's how my inside kids talk to me sometimes. Like I'm worthless and no good at taking care of them. I also talk out loud all of the time and there was a time when I decribed this behavior as ecentric and just talked away but it is different people who I am talking to.

Sunny

Now sundrop that is exactly what I do except I don't say it out loud that I know of . I feel like I have different people in my head and I talk to them all the time. in a way I just figured that i just thought to much. however, I always get an answer back. sometimes i hear put on some black finger nail polish let your hair down and just have some fun you stiff. and i will tell her that i can't i have children and they need me to be stable. if i afford the luxury then they will suffer. then she says they will like you better if you have a little more fun. the conversation goes on and on. with the little girl. I am so mad at her because she told what my stepdad did. He told me that if I told my mom wouldn't believe me and that people would take me away and I would never be accepted in the family again. That is exactly what happened. Even to this day, when I go for christmas and stuff, when i walk in the room everyone gets quite and uncomfortable. She hates me for going back and seeing my mom cause he is still there and we don't know if he ever hurt my sisters or not. I have never had the corage to ask them. To this day they believe mom had dcs come take me cause she couldn't handle me anymore. She has told me her name but I figured I just made it up. she says her name is Hope. But since that is my middle name, again like I said I figured I just made that up. I am really considering cutting my mom and family completly off. they have never really been supportive of me and they seem to get a thrill out of seeing me suffer. I just get so confused. But if this true, then I don't know who the wild one is. I have to really keep tabs on her cause I would never have anything. She wants to go ski diving, scuba diving, parasailing, bunji jumping, etc. even though she knows that i have a bad back and if injured the wrong way would paralize me waiste down for life. She says she doesn't care. at least we would have done something fun wild and free for once. So does this really sound like I am mp?

one thing I don't really remember is exactly what my step dad did or my dad. I know that it happened but the details seem to not come to mind if you know what I mean.

Is there anyoone here. where is everyone.