Multiple Personalities Support Group

I have gotten to the point where I can no longer put off communicating with my alters....though none of us are real excited about it.

I get how each alter has a job....but this seems really surreal to me. How are things like name and age determined...?

Fnaire speaking.

Why would you want to put off talking to your alters?

This is Woofy.

Aside from our principal driver, the first bunch of us were false identities at first. When the big split came, we simply went from masks to living people. Others sinply popped into being already having names and other traits. At least one was custom designed. Two are introjects, meaning they are copies of other people. Some came out as a blank slate and filled in the blanks as they went along. The children, with one exception, were named by their parents. Does that answer your question at all?

Names and ages can be dependant on so many things. Some alters are always the same age, some age, some slide. I have two who have been adults since the body was very young and they age but slowly, like maybe 1 year every 5, they came to help take care of us, I have one who came when the body was three but was 5 and is still 5, another who came when the body was 7 who is also 5, she is a younger version of an alter who was being abused and wished to go back in time. There is no set rule or guideline for it.

The same is true with names, no rules, the names come from many sources, the name of a favorite teacher or someone who was envied for their strength, variations of your name, feelings can become names like I have a Fury. Some are named for their job and don't really take another some of them are know by two names. In my case names are very important and for the longest times were carefully gaurded secrets. I still have an issue when someone asks the innocent question "What is your name?"

And to echo Fnaire, why would you want to put off talking to your alters? I know it is a lot to handle but talking to them does make things easier and better for everyone. Do you know why they are also hesitant? Some of mine were not so willing to talk to me but I was a controlling, denying jerk so I understand now why they didn't really care for me. I would beg for them to talk to me and at the time didn't realize how awful I was being so was confused and angry by them and the situation. Now I am so much happier, most of us are friends and I am no longer worried about them wrecking my life or stealing my time.

Sunny

It's not that I don't want to communicate with my alters....it's just that I'm still getting used to the concept that they're there...my DID was only dx'ed in the past couple months. Communicating with my alters just seems scary and surreal.

Oren speaking.

I was once under the impression that bad alters should not be addressed at all. If you don't acknowledge them, they'll go away, right? That seems so silly, now. Had we never addressed them, they would have stayed bad. Instead, they've become productive members of our little society and most of them have even been born again. BA, who was rebelious because he thought God wanted to kill him, is now my good friend and runs a soda shop over on the far side of the lake where alters like to gather and chat. Brent was a particularly nasty one, who had to be divided into quarters to be dealt with. One quarter now runs a donut shop, another is a writer and another is looking at being a therapist. Cyril, who saw himself as worthless and acted accordingly, is now a sculptor and part of the medical staff.

But more importantly, if I didn't talk to my alters, I would not be married to Fnaire, and I would never have my wonderful twin babies, Jason and Amanda. I would be able to escape into my head in times of trouble, but I would be completely alone. It's so much better to be part of the vibrant community of the Uncanny Valley (as to names, I picked that one) and have my neighbors as my friends.

It is scary, isn't it? After you start talking to them it will get easier. I'm glad you are taking the plunge though instead of avoiding it. Going back to names for a minute, some persecuter or "bad" alters may have the names of people who have hurt you, are even modeled after those people. Don't let it scare you, like Oren said, most "bad" personalities are not really bad and when you learn to talk with and understand them they will become productive parts of your system, They may change their name if they were named after someone abusive or scary.

Good Luck! I know it can be hard but enter into the communications with an open mind, even if you currently think an alter is bad, usually they are still doing what they do to protect you.

Sunny

i wondered about all this. when i think of the past young self and see him in minds eye i see a shy kid and lovable i think, then as i got older, i did not like that kid, do we pick up dark energy? as well as the shadow person we carry inside of us, as a alter we can communicate in a conscious mind, but if not it has to be through a dream, when i got older if i did like the controller i would make up a alter to be someone else who i did like, but he seemed to come out when i was drinking, but he was not shy or fearful.