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04/26/2012 08:51 AM

If you don't believe this is REAL!(page 2)

orenotter
orenotter  
Posts: 1373
Group Leader

Fnaire speaking.

Thewarisover, would you like to make a separate post in the Introductions and Stories forum and tell us about yourself and your husband?

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04/26/2012 05:09 PM
thewarisover
thewarisoverPosts: 314
Member

I have watched my husband tell me one time "he wasnt there" and I asked who was there and "it" never said. Is that bipolar disorder or multiples? That only happened once during a six hour argument, he was completely not in control. He told me had I told him to kill someone he would?? I should tell you all he is in the military and suffers from ptsd and his mother and other siblings are bipolar and he now says he has been bipolar for twenty years. I didnt know basically of all of this until he left me four months ago.

What are the main differences between mulitiple personalities or just him going manic?


04/27/2012 05:43 AM
Sundrop
Sundrop  
Posts: 1490
Group Leader

Hi War, wow, I have read some of your other posts and it sounds like you are really having a rough time. Are you trying to work things out with him(them)?

Have you done any research on MPD/DID PTSD or dissociation? Has his therapist explained to you how it all kind of works? Did the therapist say whether the personalities came while he was in the military or earlier or they don't know yet? Have you thought about seeing a therapist of your own to help you understand and cope with this situation?

It sounds like the personality who would kill someone if you said to is still in combat mode and waiting for orders. I would refrain from calling him it, he sounds angry enough. Mostly the alters carry the same core ethics concerning murder and other horrific crimes, that can get blurry when in war and the orders are to kill and even if you start to feel bad or sick about it you have to go on, an alter was probably created to keep moving forward with the mission and shield the others from the death and horror, he probably still thinks he's on the battlefield. Do you know if there are others?

Telling the difference between a manic episode and an alter should be easy but it's not. I am definately not bp but was misdiagnosed a few times because of a hyper chatty personality and a severely depressed one always showing up at therapy and it appeared like I was having these extreme highs and lows. It sounds like your husband has bp based on family history so until you know all of the alters and their moods it could be hard to tell. One clue is how or if he remembers the episode. It would also help if he was taking the bp meds but then meds don't work for a lot of multiples. It could be one of the alters not taking the meds for some reason, either hates the restrictive feeling or hates the submission to authority taking them means or knows they aren't helping anyway so why poison the body. I hate taking pills but I have been taking some herbal remedies that work nicely for anxiety, if he doesn't like the pills and he's not on any meds at all he could talk to his therapist about herbal supplements, diet changes also worked wonders for me.

I am not a professional but I will try to answer any questions you have based on my personal experience and research. I was diagnosed over 20 years ago, seen dozens of therapists, tried even more meds, read every book about MPD or PTSD that I could get my hand on and I still wonder what in the hell is going on. I encourage you to start a new discussion like Fnaire suggested so that everyone on the group realizes we have a new member and can hear your story and offer their advice.

Sunny


04/27/2012 11:13 AM
loraina
loraina  
Posts: 10
Member

yes that i know. i have had 33 alters.

04/27/2012 11:38 AM
loraina
loraina  
Posts: 10
Member

HI SUNDROP!MY DAD THAT PASSED WHEN I WAS 5 WAS MY ADOPTED FATHER. I HAVE SEEN MURDER, SO MANY HORRORS. I FOUND AFTER MANY MANY YEARS A GREAT THERAPIST. I'D SEE HIM 2 TIMES A WEEK. tHE ALTERS LIKED HIM. i didnt believe that could have been what going on. my therapist typed about 7 alters, each sounding, etc. totaling diff. when he showed me the tape i was shocked. i said, they aren't me!! he used that tape as a teaching tape. so i pray it has some how helped. after all these yrs, i still don't no if all has intergrated. they said i'd never be the true personality i was born to be, that the part was sleeping and would never wake up. i still have trouble praying as sometimes i'll end up doing something else or being interruped by hearing voicces, mine or others? i just don't know now.. hugss

04/27/2012 01:16 PM
Sundrop
Sundrop  
Posts: 1490
Group Leader

Hi Loraina, it's good to hear from you. It was brave of you to let someone use your tapes to teach, a lot of people couldn't do that, I don't think I could.`It sounds like you have come a long way but maybe not completely integrated? With the voices and interuptions. Or do you think that is something else?

My original personality is also asleep and I don't think we will ever integrate, we are not too crazy about the idea.

It was nice to hear from you.

Sunny


04/27/2012 05:13 PM
orenotter
orenotter  
Posts: 1373
Group Leader

We don't know if we have an original personality. Most likely, Fnaire and I each comprise half. We're not too crazy about the idea of integrating either. Some want to, and we're okay merging with them. Fnaire and I each have about a dozen contributing alters, now. But for us, ceasing to be Oren and Fnaire is not an option. And if that's what you want, it's okay, really. There is no law saying you have to integrate. We're happy this way, and for anyone else who finds happiness this way, more power to ya.

04/28/2012 10:42 PM
thewarisover
thewarisoverPosts: 314
Member

Sundrop,

WOW THANK YOU for your post. I didnt want to post a separate discussion until I was sure he has mpd or did. After dec 2010 my husband fell off the wagon and was out of state, drinking and just not the guy I knew. Possibly he was manic? he was doing things and listening to music he never listened to and was sober for years so I thought. I thought it was ptsd from the war and he was an alcoholic even though i never ever saw him take one drink, he said he quit cold turkey before we met. so i found a really good therapist that catered to what my husband was going thru, my husband being in the military said he was afraid to talk to someone, so i figured he could go with me and it would be on my record. but for a year he only attended maybe four sessions. i went each week to understand my husband and ask questions for him, to make his life better.

as time progressed he seemed to cycle into someone else, it used to be once a year, then twice a year, then every season, then as time went on every week, now it can be every other hour he changes his facial features, his emotions, even the way he types or speaks is different. i categorize him as rambo on some days and others a monk. he claims to be buddhist, but yet wants to kill?? he is a walking contradiction. everything he says he can do the opposite on another day.

i do agree with you, he is still in the desert. if uve seen jar head, u will know what i mean. he says he is in prison ( the military) but yet again has a love hate relationship. my therapist believes my husband has dissociative identity disorder.

i still attend to see my therapist, in fact while we have been apart for almost four months he attended two sessions, one where he said he wanted to be friends, date, and get remarried. and then the next week, cussed me out told me i was worthless, was so loud other therapist came to ck on me. he said he can see his mind turn me into the enemy. when im the enemy he feels im a threat, that is not good. the same guy who protected me is now at times threatening the lives of loved ones and me, and then three days later acts like its in the past or no big deal and tries to be a monk or a professional business person.

i saw a very disruptive journal that had been written years before i met him all the way up to one year before we met. my therapist said it was ted bundy crazy.

its hard to believe i was married to someone like that, however i do miss him. my therapist says its part of that stockholmes syndrome. it sucks, cause when he was nice or when i first met him he was so nice and sweet. and as time went on evil took over to where that wins now.

we have been apart for over four months, there is a restraining order in place by the military as the military said they never saw him be violent before, but when i went to his job he threw chairs at me.

i dont know who the hell he is at work?? they call him a marshmellow, i find that hard to believe, he was voted meanest guy last year and told me he is a monster.

ive been on the phone with him and he will be yelling and screaming to me and then someone enter his office and he will cut to them like nothing is going on in a normal nice" can i help you, you want me to callthem for you" but then cut back to me and growl like he wants to die, and then knock on the door he was nice. i mean had he got back on the ph and said boy that is annoying people bothering me, but instead he was a different persona with me, then with them.

my therapist thinks he has dissociative identity disorder, ptsd, bipolar. oh and i forgot possible schizoaffective disorder. do you know anything about that?

thank you so much for taking the time to answer my post. i really dont know if he has multiples, he cycles so fast and ive never heard him give them names except for one was called little e which was like a ten year old boy who just wanted to be loved and was super nice and loving, and then there was big e which was a monster with chains and wanted to destroy. he drew me a pic one time and i still have it but i now think it is just mania??

dont know, would you say that as time goes on the personalities become more prominent or lose control of hiding them?

ive been with him from thirty to thirty five and as time went on he got worse.

i really thought of him as charming guy when i met him, but its funny because he was hell bent on not having a gf and then at the end of our nondate of our first time meeting he asked me to be his gf. i thought it was wierd but maybe that was his alters.


04/28/2012 10:57 PM
orenotter
orenotter  
Posts: 1373
Group Leader

Oren here.

Wow. It does sound to me like there are several alters there, but it also sounds like a number of the alters have some serious psychological problems. It also sounds like there is some bleedthrough. In some cases, alters will experience the feelings of other alters, especially whoever happens to be driving at the time. That may be why he comes to see you as a threat, even though he's fully aware of the change in perception. I wish I could say something more helpful, but unfortunately, that's about all I have.


04/28/2012 11:02 PM
thewarisover
thewarisoverPosts: 314
Member

sundrop,

i forgot to answer this part. well as far as him remembering, he didnt remember that six hour arguement. not to mention two of his brothers and exwife told me that he used to beat on his exwife, but he admittly says it never happened. he did admit to blacking out and waking up and all of the furniture being broken around him and not remembering doing it. i can say that he would forget he loved me and id have to show him a BOOK of our love letters, he would then say thank you for reminding me, i forgot, but then the next day say it was all fake, then another day try and destroy the book.

i cant believe he could actually have personalities, the more i type this how could i not know? i just thought he had memory problems. i can tell you that he relates to movies. and here are a few he made me watch to "get him". apocolypse now, butterfly effect, and donnie darko. if you watch all of these movies it would make sense, they all scared me. but in a nutshell they all three describe him, now that i look back and pieced together a massive puzzle. i didnt start to put stock in all of this until he split from me and i could see him dating women he used to call repulsive, he told my therapist i dont like volleyball but i find myself wanting to play and i looked back at some pics we took in nov, when he was leaving me every other week. he didnt look like himself AT ALL, and it wasnt just me in the pics, everyone had this look that ive never captured in pics before and noticed. he was in his uniform, but in the past he was in his uniform and smiled.

this is so fascinating to have you help me. i really appreciate it. but again how could i not know or did i know?

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