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01/24/2009 02:03 PM

miscarriage hurts!

tamara01
Posts: 4
New Member

hi there. this is the first time i have tried an online support group, so i hope i find the encouragement i am seeking. i also hope that i can provide words of support to others as well who may be going through a similar pain.

i am 37 years old and i just had my 3rd consecutive miscarriage this month. i have no other children so i just feel so sad and want to cry to someone other than my husband for a change. i feel guilty about being sad around him so much. i don't feel that most people understand (and why should they?) how painful this is. i have a d&e scheduled for this coming monday so that will put one of aspect of this behind me. i will likely try one more time but i really have always wanted 2 children so we are considering pursuing adoption (i don't even know where to begin with this really) this year in addition to trying again later in the year. this hurts!Sad

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01/24/2009 06:14 PM
dreamsofinsomnia
dreamsofinsomnia  
Posts: 1719
VIP Member

i am so so sorry it is very painful i do agree. I have had three miscarriages some time apart and the last was in september and i just got pregneant so keep your chin up.

01/24/2009 07:16 PM
vcurness
vcurness  
Posts: 50
Member

Welcome! I am sorry that you are going through so much pain and suffering. I cant say I know excatly what you are going through as I have only ever had the one miscarrage last year in Aug. I cant understand what it must feel like to have 3 of them but I am here to be a shoulder to cry on in you need. It is the worst pain and it goes beyond the loss of the child but the lost of the hope and dreams of the child. Please fell free to contact me at anytime. I am here for you. We all have our moments and have all cried to each other at one point in time. I will keep you in my prayers!

Victoria


01/25/2009 07:07 AM
tamara01
Posts: 4
New Member

message to dreamsofinsomnia:

congratulations on your pregnancy! i wish you the very best. you are a trooper for putting yourself out there again after having 3 miscarriages like i have had. i understand b/c i will be putting myself out there again too in the near future i hope. my husband & i are thinking of pursuing another baby of our own later this year (1st i have to heal from my upcoming surgery- i've got a d&e scheduled tomorrow) and also pursuing adoption at the same time. who knows, maybe if we're really lucky we'll be blessed with two! what choice do we have but to keep trying if we want our dreams fulfilled? i admire your courage! keep me posted on your pregnancy, my thoughts are with youSmile

Post edited by: tamara01, at: 01/25/2009 07:09


01/25/2009 07:14 AM
tamara01
Posts: 4
New Member

victoria-

thanks for your words of support! you are exactly right in saying that the pain is not just about the loss of the baby but it is really about shattered dreams. i also feel fearful that i may never have these dreams answered, though that does not mean i give up hope.

tamara


01/25/2009 08:24 AM
dreamsofinsomnia
dreamsofinsomnia  
Posts: 1719
VIP Member

tamara have they given you any reasons why it keeps happening, i kept having eptopic pregnancies. The one i was in an accident. I can give you better advice if i knew more.

01/25/2009 08:37 AM
tamara01
Posts: 4
New Member

hi there. no, there are no reasons that i have been given. i have been through a battery of blood tests, as well as an HSG. the third & last time i had a miscarriage the practitioner who discovered the miscarriage during my 1st scheduled ultrasound said a have just had "bad luck". i'm just not sure what to think, but when there is no apparent medical reason for them, it gives you just enough hope to keep trying again. personally, i think this is a curse and a blessing rolled into one. on the one hand, it does give a glimmer of hope. on the other hand, if someone would just say, this is not going to happen for you b/c of "x", then at least i could start to move on and go to plan b.

01/25/2009 08:58 AM
dreamsofinsomnia
dreamsofinsomnia  
Posts: 1719
VIP Member

are there any gentic diseases on either side of your families

does the male work with chemicals?

have you ever had cysts or anything like that

are you to thin or out of shape- my aunt shawn couldn't get pregneant for a long time till she got in shape- my sister can't get pregneant because she is 20 pounds underweight and her boudy just can't support a pregneancy

these are all common reasons


02/01/2009 12:45 PM
vcurness
vcurness  
Posts: 50
Member

How you holding up Bean?

02/01/2009 01:37 PM
dreamsofinsomnia
dreamsofinsomnia  
Posts: 1719
VIP Member

how is everything with everyone
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