Pokie, if you would like a different view, I will humbly submit my comments.
Blame is an illusion of control.
We think once the test reads positive, we have all the choices, all the control and all of the say in mattes such as: chromosomal abnormalities, genetic mismatches, blood pressure or temperature regulations, medication interactions, and the whole host of combinations thereof that increase risk to miscarry. So if we have all of this control, and something bad happens, it must be our fault.
You have control over certain things in life, like stopping at a stop sign. If you don't stop, and cause an accident, fault will be given to you likely by a police officer, court, or insurance company.
But what if there is ice on the road, and you pump your brakes, skid and the accident happens ANYWAY despite your slow rate of speed, looking both ways, headlights on, etc. Sometimes bad things, horrible things, happen ANYWAY.
I loved my baby from the moment I knew I was pregnant. I miss him/her, long for him/her, don't know how I'm going to get past this grief. But blame? For what? For being the age I am? For being the race I am, with the chromosomes I have? What I COULD control I did (don't smoke, drink, ate healthy, slept at 6:30pm).
I was a part of the miracle of life for 8 weeks. With God's help I created a kidney out of spare parts! 
So many many things can go wrong once the sperm and the egg unite, it is amazing ANY of us are here at all!!
So where does forgiveness come in?
What did you do to cause this M/C? What did you have control over that you chose to put your baby at risk for? What did you knew would cause death and did it anyway? (no need to answer this publicly....I'm just asking rhetorically) If you can find something like that, then ok.
Forgiveness would come in by giving yourself another chance to be happy again, to conceive again, to love again, to learn and grow from this experience.
If, on the other hand, you are using self blame to stay close to your baby after 3 years, I would suggest another path. I want my baby back so bad I can hardly breathe sometimes. I want to demand him back with my face red and fists clenched! But is this the only way to be close to my baby? I think not. Is there another way to think about your baby, other than fault finding? I am a better person for being pregnant. Are you? How?
Ok...this has been a long post.
Rest easy friend.
"When I was diagnosed about 18 months ago with fibromyalgia, I didn't know where to turn. I got on my computer and looked for a support group where I could talk to other people with the same disease and get some help...Information, suggestions, mostly just what I can do now that I have this.....disorder/disease/syndrome...I didn't even know what to call it. I found MDJ, and yes, there was a support group for fibro. I started a post, and figured I would never get an answer. However, very quickly I was welcomed in, and became really involved in the group. I received help, support, friendship and the feeling of being truly cared about by these strangers who had become like family to me. Now, I have been here for about a year and a half...I have become a group leader, and love every minute of it. It is so wonderful to be able to help others. I still receive help and answers from the members in this group. The fibromyalgia is where I go to help, support, listen, care and even laugh. I don't know what I would do without this group." (mabri)
