Methamphetamin Addiction Support Group

In a positive attempt to seek emotional support, encouragement, and understanding from others who can acknowledge the struggle I currently feel within I find myself here. I’m terrified, in fact consumed with fear and self-doubt, as I am starting this new phase of my life completely alone; without that of family and without that of friends. Currently, I am 5 months clean from a meth addiction consisting of daily usage for several years. I did not go into rehab nor did I attend classes to assist in stopping my addiction, instead I went through the physical and mental damnation of detox completely alone, isolated from the outside world. At this point, five months into the process, I am just now taking my first steps knowing that I can no longer do this by myself or without support. I have also been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, a mental health diagnoses that I finally feel is accurate; all happening rather recently. With such diagnoses and acceptance into outpatient care I have also sought help with substance abuse, since I admit with complete honestly I know I am on the edge of relapse and am at a high risk for relapse with severe depression having had my mind focused on wanting to return to meth use since I feel I was the years that I was an addict were the only happiness I had known in my life. I am still struggling with those feelings daily, the desire growing stronger. With such situation in my life I reach out and join this group hoping that being a part of something will help me to see what I have accomplished and help to get me on the right track. I just want to belong, I guess somewhere.

You aren't alone. Post here a lot. There is so much support and friendship - best of all no bullshit. It helps me a lot. Take care of yourself. I'm proud of you!

Often, the characteristics of addiction can manifest themselves in other aspects of your life...for example, addicts are master manipulators. You may find yourself manipulating others to get your way. Keep in mind that these are just symptoms of being an addict, and you CAN control it.

Personally I think that NA is a great program, but some people feel that it is not a great fit for them.

You have done very well, to get clean on your own. I am like you in that way. But it is hard. I had to remove all the people that were using from my life, but I was so glad to do so. You also should stay away from the places that you used.

But, it's okay to be proud of yourself. And NO MATTER WHAT....DON'T USE!!!!

I know those urges can be very powerful, but you have MORE power. Draw your strength from a place of peace. Your Higher Power (it may be God, or the universe...) Whatever, use it!

Keep us posted, and feel free to ask lots of questions.

Do not use, Just For Today. One day, one hour, or one minute at the time. The only thing that is required here, is the desire to stop. And I believe you can do it.

M so happy to bump into you here because I have managed before and now i am trying again to get sober on my own without rehabilitation. However, i do have a very qualified counselor who is an addict in recovery for the last 5 plus years. U know u r strong girl to stay sober for all this time so dont give up now. u r better than this! i went through my series of relapses and slipped too and when i started using all the hard work i put into turning sober and all the pride, happiness and confidence i earned about myself, they all went down the gutters. i slipped thrice in life n trust me every day i used to use i sufferred from guilt trip because once u enjoy the taste and the peace of sobriety, when u'll b using again back of ur mind there will be always this voice inside your head telling you to go back to your clean life. n from my personal experience, a drug addict fighting with his/her voices in the head telling him/her to go back to serenity,it just leaves u in the no man's land. i dont know how much of a help i have been but all i wanna say is pls dont go back to square one! u can do this,1 day at a time, 1 night at a time. we r proud of u.just get rid of anything/anyone any factor that might trigger your urge. rem, it's not about stopping drug abuse, it's all about staying stopped....xoxox

I want to first and foremost personally thank each of you for responding to my post within this forum and for the delightful encouraging words of support. I truly appreciate such kindness from the bottom of my heart. It really means a great deal to me.

It's been quite a while since I first got the courage to openly write an introduction into the group and I do apologize for my absence. When I came here I was unclear of what to expect and I was also very uncertain of myself. I deeply feared that I was in a place and a position that regardless the fight I was destined and doomed to relapse. Such fear never failed to be and currently I remain six months clean from a drug I once loved more then I loved life itself. I have followed up on the choice I made to ask for and accept professional help and must admit it has been the best choice I have yet to date made. Initially, I requested help within my small-town area May 28, 2012. In early June I was both evaluated and assessed by a facility in a neighboring town (only 20 minutes away) and later June 26, 2012 I started intensive outpatient treatment for my substance abuse addiction. While I did take on the challenge and have a successful six-months I knew I could no longer continue to move forth with my long term goals without the proper professional resources to do so. I feared returning to the drug and knew that my out-of-control prior use was related to problems within that I had been suppressing. It is at the current treatment facility I can address all the issues that are of problem and have help for each, such help has turned out to be an absolute blessing. Again, I made the best choice of my life.

My current treatment involves support group (therapy) three days per week in three hour sessions, medication for involved mental health issues detailed in my profile, as well as case management and individual one-on-one (bi-monthly), with a requirement of attendance in three N/A meetings each week. Again, intensive. I had a personal choice in my treatment and felt this was the best for me due to where with the situation as a whole. In three weeks time I can see a total difference in who I am and my view towards my future, regardless however I am just beginning, I am just starting slowly to take steps towards repairing the wreckage of my self-destruction and I have no support outside of my 8-week group. So I am looking in all places for proper resources to carry with me on my healing journey. My reason for being here.

Again, thanks for the welcome and sorry for the delay. I have faith in each of you, as much as you have in me and together we will get through the monster of meth.

-Amanda

Post edited by: BreakSilence, at: 07/10/2012 10:41 AM

Breathe deeply a lot! Many times in the day. Just stop and breathe. Your body is recovering and it needs the oxygen to rebuild. Stretch you muscles - it helps the oxygen get into the tight places and create healing. If you really get into it - try yoga. For now, just remember to breathe deeply throughout the day.

Walk - and feel your feet touching the earth. Feel the energy of the earth coming up through your feet. Go tough a tree and feel it ground you through its roots and lift you as it reaches up to the sky. Yeah - that's where 'tree hugger' comes from. Do it. It works. Trees are strong but they bend when the strong winds blow. That is how they learn to endure.

Hugs to you & much love!

My husband went to out local mental health facility...He was going to sign up for an in-house rehab...but because of his back injury, he was not able to go out and to the comm. service that they do. So they enrolled him in a 90 day, SAIOP (Substance Abuse Intensive Outpatient Program)

He thoroughly enjoyed it, because even though he was able to take something good from NA, in his class they taught him the science of it all. What the drugs had done to his brain over time, and how long it would take for him to regain what he had lost. He also went 3 days a week for 4 hour sessions. He only had three other people in his class.

I think the class is very productive in teaching the nature of addiction in a scientific way, some people understand it a little better that way.

Good luck Amanda.

They will help give you the tools you need now. So will NA.

Again, so happy, and proud of you.