Mental Health Online Support Group

Hey there MDJ friends. Many of you know that I am a 21 year old college student who struggles with keeping relationships, and are prone to unhealthy ones. I guess you could say I'm prone to the guys who treat me good short term, but then treat me like crap long term..Ha, I am my mother's child. My mother was abused by my father leading to their divorce.

A little background about the guys I have enccounterd. C, who I met in Community College, never liked me but I bribed him into taking me out, and I fell in love with him. Ultimately, him breaking my heart in the long run and dating a good friend of mine.

D, I met my first year away from home at my college. He seemed like the perfect guy and I could see myself with him for the rest of my life. But, he had a dark side that no one really knew about. I found out that he had a porn addiction. He said he wanted help, and I even bought software for his computer. Well, he hacked that and looked at porn behind my back. He became unfunctional without it. I thought I could help him, but he didnt want to help himself. This was the first real love of my life. We spent everyday together and his family loved me and vise versa. Breaking up with him was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and when I did, I didn't get out of bed for about a week not going to class, eating or even showering. I lost 15 lbs that week, and my sense of worth. I thought I could never love again.. and that was March 2010.

And then K, comes into my life.. He's everything I ever wanted in a guy (so far).. Christian, good dancer, honest( as I know of), and we share so many common interests.. I don't want to mess this up or scare him away. When we text (which has become once a week to now everyday) he wants to keep the convo going to make sure he wants to know about me and get to know me better. Even asking if he could take me to my semi-formal after I told him I didn't have a date. He's a sweet guy.. I don't want to mess this up for a happy future..

Suggestions and stories?

You are young and you have many experiences yet to experience. I'm really sorry for those awful guys you went out with. They don't deserve you. Get that into your head because it's true. You deserve to be treated very good like you treated them. The last one, where you didn't get out of bed for a week hit you pretty hard and I'm sorry for that. It sounds like it really depressed you a lot. The hurt will fade in time. This new guy seems nice. Talking is a good way to start out. Just go very slow. Get to know him first. Be friends for awhile so you know each other pretty good. You don't have to rush into anything. It's good that you are communicating with him. Communication is really important in any relationship. Just be yourself. You might enjoy it if you go to that dance with him. Just be easy on yourself, you'll be okay.

Things are getting rocky with K. He says he wants to hang, but makes excuses and lies to me..ugh.

Maybe K isn't as sweet as he says he is if he makes excuses and lies to you. I would continue with caution if I were you. You don't want to get involved with someone that lies to you. That is not how a friend acts. They don't lie to you. I would ask him why he lies to you. I'm sorry that he is doing this to you. This is not very nice at all. K sounds like he's got other things going on in his life and maybe does not want to hurt your feelings. It's always best to be truthful though. I think lying hurts the other's feelings worse than saying you can't hang out. Don't let it get you down though! I'm here for you girl! Keep your head up!!

yeah,we aren't even dating.. So, I can just imagine the lies that would be told if we were.. Gee, sure know how to pick em'..how frustrating.