Just wanted to say high,er......HI.

Long time user - daily for a decade or so. Fair weather user before that. I have control as far as when/where/etc. - but the green sacrament has become a staple nightly ritual for 10 years or so.

I get into guilt feedback loops most of the time now, and wind up stressing more while stoned than anything else.

Memory is noticeably off - I have always had an insane ability for recall. Starting to realize that most of my sharpest recall is from days long past, and that details of even recent activities/conversations/etc. are fuzzy.

I seem to have lost my night time dream scape adventures. I sleep well, but it is off the grid as far as any memorable mind imagery goes.

Motivation is tough - I do well once I break inertia, but the simple act of rocking the beast into some sort of momentum can be hard. I often mail it in, and simply do not try.

Tolerance has taken it's toll - can't seem to find the pleasant buzz I used to adore. I think I smoke more for the sake of maintaining the ritual than anything else.

Still love the smell, love the taste, and love the idea of what I used to be certain was therapeutic bliss.

I have quit a few times for short(ish) stints. Walked away for 6 months about a year ago (guess the aforementioned decade marker HAS had some exceptions)and recall noticing a massive difference in several areas of the day to day. I think I wound up deciding I had earned another dance with MJ...recall some certainty that I would only blaze through one bag before cycling back to the abstain mindset.

Right now, I can not seriously imagine walking away for good. Trying to determine if it is possible to regain control and reserve the right to puff for special occasions and such.

I don't drink at all (haven't since the early 20's). I don't take any other meds.

Not sure what I am trying to say.

Something got my mind centered on google searching support groups - and here I have landed. Look forward to shooting the s**t and seeing how weird I am compared to other users.

Peace.