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roberto70 Posts: 9
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I can see both sides of the discussion. I smoked weed occasionally /casually for years and then I smoked weed habitually for years and had a compulsion to do so on a regular basis. I decided to stop smoking (10 months now) because it was making me less effective at trying to accomplish my personal goals. In general I believe pot can have both positive and negative effects. Personally I think it should be decriminalized and legalized for medicinal use. The illegality of it seems to create more problems than the use of it does. Not to mention that there are far more potentially destructive habits to focus our resources on. That being said, the effects of pot can have serious consequences in personal relationships between family members and friends. Of course this isn't always the case, but when it's potentially an issue, it might be a good idea for the smoker to take a little break and discuss the matter openly. Why not try and be sober for a few months or year and evaluate things? There tends to be a lot of defensiveness and dependency on the part of marijuana users and non-smokers tend to demonize those who smoke and attribute all kinds of other things to it. Both of those attitudes are very dismissive and tend to push people away from each other. The fact is that personal relationships, career opportunities, and many other things may or may not be threatened but its really hard to know without removing the drug from the equation. Is the person who smokes willing to do that? If not, why is smoking so important? Does the smoker feel compelled to do it? Those are questions every smoker should ask themselves. I think both smokers and non-smokers can agree that the habit can limit possibilities. My advice is that it probably is not a good idea to ask someone to stop smoking all together. When someone is addicted they only stop when they are ready to. But I think it is totally appropriate to ask your spouse and/or parent of your child to stop for a period of time so that the issue can be discussed honestly. On a related note, there is a good article in today's NY Times about addiction and personality disorder (http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/02/health/02abuse.html). Its worth reading. I really believe that drug abuse in many cases is the outward manifestation of a deeper issues someone is struggling with. Try and be supportive and Good Luck!
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ThatGuy Posts: 3
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Honest Guy I love marijuana and agree with all of its medicinal values. However there are some people who abuse substances (maybe someone who is not remotely like you) - and you can not escape the gravity of that fact. I personally love weed and alcohol, but to drink and smoke all day everyday, thats just not the same as using it for medicine or for occasional enjoyment. People who abuse their partners and kids have serious issues and they only abuse substances to numb their personal pain. Being high is better than dealing with reality. Please don't criticise people we all have different motivations. I was taught that if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. People don't realise that criticism actually creates bigger problems. If I criticise your use of pot and how often you use it or why you use it - no doubt your going to be pissed off. It will push you further away and you will resent me for the criticism. The best route to a solution to this situation is to have the other person truly see how their behaviour is effecting the family and people around them. The weed smoking was probably not the big problem to begin with. The big problem is when the man is abusive because he can't get f**ked up on weed. Addicts want to get high. When they can't its like someone crapped in their cereal. I've seen all sides of addiction and I know how it can tear a family apart. I hope that the husband can stop abusing substances and have a smoke in moderation. Work his way to being a good father and husband. Not a jerk off who sits around all day getting high because he is mad at the world for whatever reason. He needs a wake up call and gbaldwin needs to have security for her family. Whats more important - a smoke or human lives? Seriously. |
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BrandieZ Posts: 613
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I couldn't agree more, I have to been an on again off again smoker, it didn't faze me one bit to stop when I was out looking for a job or when I was down on my luck and was pinching pennies! I don't freak out when my stash gets low, I can have it in my house and not touch it for days. I quit recently because I want to quit smoking cigarette's also and I can't smoke weed and not smoke cigarette's my lungs are killing me! I believe that an addictive personality means addiction problems. No you can't TELL someone to stop, someone tells me to quit I will do it just because and yes it will push me farther away from the person, you can't force people to do things. Acceptance is the key, if I wasn't so accepting I wouldn't have any friends at all!
I am not here to judge or to be judged, I am here to listen & share.
I am not a doctor & any advice that I give is purley my opinion. Afterall everyone has one! |
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honestguy
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sorry for my outburst about pot, i had a bad week but serious pot isn't the problem, i just went to the club for the first time in over a year and got some pot b/c this morning i wanted to die, now im watching tv relaxing cleaning my room and watering my plants, taking care of my dogs.. thanks to this wonderful pot im sorry for being a asshole with my post, but i really do think u need to look else were other then blaming your husband for pot, blaming anyone will just make it worse... if u love him support him and dont mention pot for a few weeks, see what happens if he abuses u, leave if u can.... abusive people do not get abusive b/c of pot, its more of a anger issue, frustration probably hope your all great and im a dick sorry, just brutally honest |
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patty777
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Hi Honestguy I really know what you are saying is true. My son is bi-polar..and he did use weed to self-medicate. He was so very calm when just a little high...really helped with his manias..but he decided...he wanted to go straight a month ago. He had a very hard time at first...but within 2 weeks..and now its been about 6 weeks..his manias are farther apart...but they are getting out of control..very violent at times.. I just wish our state was in MM..with the law.. he can't be in any trouble with the police, so he is trying so hard to give up something he really needs for his mental health. I can remember when he almost got his Dad busted when he was 6 yo...LOL...he is 24 yo now,...he told his teacher when they were having drug free week..that his Mom and Dad smoked... She said Oh but thats cigarettes..he said yea my mom buys hers but my Dad grows his in the backyard...LMAO...my next door lady friend called me to warn me..LOL..it was so funny..but yes my husband was much calmer when he did smoke weed..Beer..or alcohol is worse in my opinion..but it is Legal..and many of woman were beaten bad by the hands of an alcoholic...more than anyone smoking weed...I'm from the 70's ..an old Hippie..LOL But dont use anything now..I learned it was only fun for me..but started to get paranoid...so I'm just best at my RX meds But truly believe that some people really need MM..my sister was aloud it before she died a painful death at 40 yo..she had pills and they were powerful..yikes ..be careful with them..LOL Caring always..I look at both sides, then rationalize it all. Hugs, Patty |
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honestguy
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 what state are you in? you can find out about MM here www.norml.org http://www.norml.org/index.cfm?Group_ID=3376 alcohol kills, i do not drink at all doctors got me on all kinds of pain killer pills that are giving me other problems, such as liver damage, kidney damage... so ill stick with pot... pot cause no side affects, and no damage i dont have much to say today but thanks for the nice comment with some added truth for the people who think pot is a problem.... have a great day |
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patty777
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I live in In..My sister was aloud to bring it from NIH where she had her free treatment on a protocol for one of the yungest to get Stage 4 breast cancer at 36 yo. My other sister now has intestinal Ca. She is getting staged for it today...I pray in IL the bill will pass for her...she is in so much pain..she is petite and the tumor is so big in her tummy she looks like she is pregnant...I just want her out of pain..and I need my son at his best for me to handle and support her in her time of need.. I'm scared for her.. I don't drink alcohol either,,,its more deadlier than smoking weed..at least..and I have RSD in my rt hand and left leg..but its getting to a point of remission..i think.. Thank you for the site Patty |
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BrandieZ Posts: 613
Senior Member
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Thanks for the apology Honest Guy, we all have bad days. If you make it a problem then it is a problem, not everyone can toke up when they need it. Some people go to the extremes and smoke as much as they can while it's there. I can go for weeks or months without it then have a few bad days of horrible rage, smoke up and I feel better. It can be in the house and I don't touch it for days. People that have never smoked don't understand the effects and can easily blame other problems on it, thtas why we are here, to help people understand all the many sides of the story! I for one cannot have pain pills, when I have a tooth extracted and get a script, I eat the whole script in the matter of days! I can't stop! I guess thats my weakness and I know to stay away from them! Some people are like that with pot, so this group is not to bash pot, it's to help people that do not have the control like others do. Everything in moderation is the key.... Acceptance is the key, if I wasn't so accepting I wouldn't have any friends at all!
I am not here to judge or to be judged, I am here to listen & share.
I am not a doctor & any advice that I give is purley my opinion. Afterall everyone has one! |
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tuningin Posts: 8
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Speaking from the stance of a pot head, I think his anger is probably withdrawal, or possibly the irritation you can feel when something (such as a commute) is in the way of your next buzz. I agree with the person who said you just have to live your life in a way that makes you happy, quit focusing on his problem and maybe, dont count on it but maybe, he will see that he is the one who ultimately does not have what he wants. It is impossible to make someone quit who does not want to and even when you want to and know it is best for you it is very hard. There chemical and physical differences in the brains of addicts, many that occurred before they were even born. An addict who does not see any lessening in the quality of their life and attribute it to their use is not going to want to change. The more you tell them to change and all of the wonderful reasons for it (if they are anywhere near change they will see it already and if they aren't there is nothing you can say to make it happen), the more they will resent your input. You have to change the dynamics of the relationship and it sounds like you have. Best wishes for you. |
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ynottammy Posts: 10
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I have lost my husband too...he is almost 55, I did some figuring how in gods world could anyone spend 400-500 a week on POT??? I am not kidding the pot he is buying since July is a hundred dollars for a small amount he pays no bills he gives me no money...I sent him out today as I moved to low income housing he has tried to move in on me and my son, whom in 6 years he has hardly spoken tooo...I used to like weed but now HA I told him your addiction is worse than doing coke I even threatend the little dope dealer and told him whatever kind of mary jane you are selling has made him go limp, he is nuts when he is out...he has already been busted once little boy and when you mess in someones marriage you PAY...my husband was in treatment and was clean for a year and a half until the day he got off probation....I had an alcolholic husband before... he beat on me...I would rather take a beating than to have someone to choose weed over having a home or me as their wife, the emotional damage has taken me out...LIFE IS TOO SHORT >>>I GAVE UP MY BEER FOR HIM 6 years ago, HE CARES ABOUT NOTHING OTHER THAN STAYING HIGH...it hurts bad, but its a new year and as much as I loved him its time to be done... |
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