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11/12/2009 12:13 PM

This is not a time to smoke pot

Sotma3
Posts: 94
Member

Yesterday we had to drive my 11 year old son to the emergency room after he was stung by a wasp several times. We were afraid of shock.

I know my husband took a quick few hits before he got into the car because I smelled it on him. Duh.

I didn't say anything, but how inappropriate can you get. As I sat in the waiting room, I disgustedly looked at my husbands bloodshot eyes and thought what a loser.

That behavior just sunk my opinion of my husband even lower.

Thanks for listening.

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11/15/2009 11:33 AM
xanderisknight

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Post edited by: xanderisknight, at: 03/13/2010 03:42 PM


11/16/2009 11:25 AM
Sotma3
Posts: 94
Member

I should have known better asking for advice from this site. I don't think I need a 19 year old telling me to roll my husband a surprise joint when the time is right. When you grow up someday and get married and have children and responsbilitiy maybe you'll understand. You said it not me, you're the loser stoner. I think I am so done with this support group site. I'm not getting the support I need...........................farewell.

11/16/2009 12:32 PM
xanderisknight

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Post edited by: xanderisknight, at: 03/13/2010 03:42 PM


11/16/2009 05:35 PM
FeeZ
FeeZ  
Posts: 102
Member

hi there sotma3, please don't give up on this site because of advice from one person....yes i agree it was very inapropriate for your husband to do that when your child has been bitten by a wasp & you need to get them to the hospital, in my mind a child comes first....he so could've waited until he got home....i can honestly say why he has done this not that it makes it right....i too use to have to have some bongs (cones) before i went out and did most things because i thought it would help me be calm and deal with any situation, but you know what it didn't, it just made it harder for me to understand things or should i say comprehend things, that's why i always tried to have my husband with me so he could take it in what ever had to be taken in. i hope i'm making sense.....i too am sure he use to think i was a loser (i know i wished at the time i could just walk out the door without having a smoke) or wished i didn't have this addiction to pot smoking.....eventually i had enough and went cold turkey and started my hard journey to giving up pot smoking.......sending you lots of hope and support & hope you can hopefully one day not look at your husband that way, i know that things will have to change on his behalf to help that.....KEEP KEEPING STRONG xoxoxoxoxoxo

feez

xo

W00t Silly Laughing Grin Tongue


11/17/2009 05:58 AM
Sotma3
Posts: 94
Member

Feez, I have been reading a lot of your posts and I must say you are a very strong woman. Congratulations on your quitting and I wish you continued success. Your positive words are always so welcoming on this site.

In the past 4 days a lot has changed in my life. I gave my husband an ultimatum. I told him I will no longer tolerate pot in my home (even if it's in the basement, garage, etc.) Also, I will no longer tolerate him carrying it around with him. Also I will no longer spend the large amounts of money on it. I was willing to divorce him after 20 years to protect my children. Not an easy decision.

He does not do well with threats. Of course he got scared. Without us he's got nothing.

Experts will probably disagree with me strongly, but we came to an agreement. He says he can become a recreational smoker. You know, taking a few hits after 10pm when the kids are in bed, etc. OUTSIDE ONLY. I am a positive person, but I strongly told him I don't think he can do that. In order to save the marriage he said it's ALL IN ONES MIND and that he can do anything if he puts his mind to it. (Obviously not wanting to quit though).

We'll see. Between now going to AL-ANON meetings and having a lot of family support, I am feeling a little better about things. I have finally come to the conclusion although it sounds selfish, but I know you can relate, It's all about me now. It's about protecting my children and although I love my husband, supporting his habit and having to live in a house and life with constact blood shot eyes and reeking is no way I want to live.

It's hard for people to understand how things can get to this point, but it's not easy. I might be fooling myself, but when children are involved it's a totally different story. I am not getting my hopes up, but I will stay strong and true to myself.


11/17/2009 06:28 AM
Sotma3
Posts: 94
Member

I apologize for lashing out, but I just did not like your rolling him a joint philosophy. Yes, being an enabler for so long is wrong, allowing things to happen under my roof is wrong. A friend of mine told me I am just as much at fault for things going on in my house because I'm allowing it.

My goal is to now get my husband to be like you...be sober for most of the day. As far as fully quitting, I know that's not what he wants to do and until someone admits they're an addict, they cannot get help and quit completely.

I've never been Anti-pot, just anti not smoke pot responsibly, ya know, ie: driving with kids, in the house during family parties, in the home where young impressionable kids can smell it...ya know, the regular stuff.

I used to smoke, but I liked it too much and I personally had to make the decision to quit. Quitting was not difficult for me. I never did it around my children.

One year I spent around $15,000 on pot. This year it's been down to $7,000. Come on, that's a lot of money. I don't know what's in store for my future, but if my husband can turn into a midnight toker, OUTSIDE, I'll be happy. Good luck to you. As far as my comment about you only being 19, again I apologize. I was 19 once too and I look back at my life and realize I've made mistakes, but everyday is a journey.......................


11/20/2009 05:37 PM
xanderisknight

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Post edited by: xanderisknight, at: 03/13/2010 03:44 PM

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