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02/26/2010 01:16 AM

national Suicide Prevention Lifeline & tips

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sunshine4ere posted below about her son's suicide; please read her story and how it has effected her/family and the repercussions.


National Suicide Prevention Lifeline


LymeNet Contributor

Member # 11904

posted 01-19-2008 03:09 AM


Get Help ! If you or someone you know needs emotional help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline during a crisis. You can reach the Lifeline by dialing 1-800-273-TALK (8255) .

Who Should Call?

- Anyone, but especially those who feel sad, hopeless, or suicidal

- Family and friends who are concerned about a loved one who may be experiencing these feelings

-Anyone interested in suicide prevention, treatment, and service referrals

Details About the Lifeline

*The service is free and confidential

*The hotline is staffed by trained counselors

*Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

*Information about support services that can help you

TTY Users

If you are a TTY user, please use our

TTY number: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)


What Are The Warning Signs For Suicide?

Seek help as soon as possible by contacting a mental health professional or by calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK if you or someone you know exhibits any of the following signs:

-Threatening to hurt or kill oneself or talking about wanting to hurt or kill oneself

-Looking for ways to kill oneself by seeking access to firearms, available pills, or other means

-Talking or writing about death, dying, or suicide when these actions are out of the ordinary for the person

-Feeling hopeless

-Feeling rage or uncontrolled anger or seeking revenge

-Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities - seemingly without thinking

-Feeling trapped - like there's no way out

-Increasing alcohol or drug use

-Withdrawing from friends, family, and society

-Feeling anxious, agitated, or unable to sleep or sleeping all the time

-Experiencing dramatic mood changes

-Seeing no reason for living or having no sense of purpose in life

What if Someone I Know Needs Help?

Looking out for friends and loved ones is an important part of preventing suicide.

You can call the Lifeline to speak with a crisis worker on behalf of someone you are concerned about.

The crisis workers have access to local resources, and can help you identify ways to get help to your loved ones.

So call 1-800-273-TALK today to help save a life.

To find out more about the difference you can make in a friend or loved one's life - visit

Here Are Some Other Ways To Be Helpful to Someone Who Is Threatening Suicide:*

Be direct. Talk openly and matter-of-factly about suicide.

Be willing to listen. Allow expressions of feelings. Accept the feelings.

Be non-judgmental. Don't debate whether suicide is right or wrong, or whether feelings are good or bad. Don't lecture on the value of life.

Get involved. Become available. Show interest and support.

Don't dare him or her to do it.

Don't act shocked. This will put distance between you.

Don't be sworn to secrecy. Seek support.

Offer hope that alternatives are available but do not offer glib reassurance.

Take action. Remove means, such as guns or stockpiled pills.

Get help from persons or agencies specializing in crisis intervention and suicide prevention.

Be Aware of Feelings:*

Many people at some time in their lives think about suicide. Most decide to live because they eventually come to realize that the crisis is temporary and death is permanent.

On the other hand, people having a crisis sometimes perceive their dilemma as inescapable and feel an utter loss of control.

These are some of the feelings and thoughts they experience:

-Can't stop the pain

-Can't think clearly

-Can't make decisions

-Can't see any way out

-Can't sleep, eat or work

-Can't get out of depression

-Can't make the sadness go away

-Can't see a future without pain

-Can't see themselves as worthwhile

-Can't get someone's attention

-Can't seem to get control

If you experience these feelings, get help! If someone you know exhibits these symptoms, offer help!

Dr. Phil Helps Lifeline Prevent Suicide on YouTube

February 11, 2009 - Dr. Phil encourages people to call 1-800-273-TALK in a new video posted on the Lifeline YouTube Channel:

He talks about why people should reach out if they are in suicidal crisis or emotional distress and how there is not shame is asking for help.

The clip was taken from a Dr. Phil Show about suicidal behaviors which featured guest Dr. Thomas Joiner, a Lifeline Steering Committee Member.

Post edited by: Bettyg, at: 03/18/2010 01:04 AM

Post edited by: Bettyg, at: 10/19/2010 01:57 AM


03/17/2010 02:10 AM
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03/17/2010 06:19 AM
Posts: 578

I wanted to write as a mom who lost my nineteen year old son to suicide. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary feeling of hopelessness.

I want to tell young people also that sometimes during your teens you can feel like "I'll show you", we can even feel like that as adults when we've been hurt.

There is so much truth to the saying that a good night's sleep, things will look different in the morning. We've all had "dark night of the soul". IT WILL PASS.

Now I'm begging you to think of those around you who will be scarred for life. Suicide touches and hurts so many around you. It is a ripple affect that reaches out and tears the heart out of so many.

It's been seventeen years, there is not a day that goes by that I don't hear Ben's voice, feel his hug, smell his hair!!! I've learned not to walk down the road of his shattered body, he used a high powered rifle, I have to keep away from that yet and picture him whole and at peace with God.

There is nothing romantic about suicide, there is nothing beautiful, it is ugly, horrifying, empty and final. Think of that's not just escaping the pain for a while, pain comes and goes, we have good times bad times, it's called life, but it is still a blessing.

Ben has missed so many wonderful many happy moments that he thought would never happen. I, his mom, laid on his grave wanting to disappear inside, I have gone on to see many beautiful things, the birth of my

I can't save Ben, but please think about this and call the number. We have all wanted our pain to end. I sat in the garage with the door closed and the car running, thinking I must have been a bad mom to not have known. Then, I thought about how much Ben's death hurt us and I couln't do it to others I loved. Even though I didn't love myself at that moment, I loved them.

I realize the dark pit you might be in....please, please don't give your loved ones a life sentence of pain.

I'm just writing from my heart as a mom, and I've only skimmed the surface.

Life is precious!!!

God bless you, You are loved,

warmest hugs,


Post edited by: sunshine4ere, at: 03/17/2010 06:22 AM

03/17/2010 06:31 AM
Posts: 1050

Oh Nancy....

I am so sorry for your loss of Ben.

I just wanted to thank you for writing that, it is beautiful. Maybe you'll save someone by sharing your story.

My husband lost his sister when she was 16, she used a pistol...That has been 14 years ago and still not a day goes by that he doesn't think about her.

He misses her.

03/17/2010 09:16 AM
Posts: 578

Thanks so much Tennesseemom,

If our stories can help others in any way, that is the greater picture, even the disease we have, Lyme.

Each one of us has our story, has our pains and has our joys. God is good!!! Nine months to the day after Ben died, my little grandchild Savannah was born. She was born six weeks early, what was that about. I choose to believe God was telling me that He loved me.

There is the story of the tapestry of our life. On one side it looks a mess with all the threads hanging and nothing makes sense, but when it is finished and you turn it over, you have a beautiful picture of what it was all aboutSmile !!

We have two choices in this life, when we go through hard times, we can either become better or bitter, my mom always told me that, and I truly believe that.

God bless you,


Post edited by: sunshine4ere, at: 03/17/2010 09:18 AM

03/18/2010 01:02 AM
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nancy, thank you so much for your gut-wrenching experience of losing your beloved son to suicide and how it affects those left to mourn and ask WHY?

i'm going back to the top and make a statement to go to bottom to read your post; thanks for sharing how YOU dealt with this and what it caused you to try to do also.

my heartfelt sympathies to you and family.

hugs/kisses on your deep loss you will never get over...

SYMPATHY POEMS COLLECTION by Betty G forums/general-support/Itemid=217/func=post

12.07 from COBWEB CAROL; LOSS OF A LOVED ONE! this website for any who may need comfort during this Holiday Season:

Post edited by: Bettyg, at: 11/20/2010 03:56 PM

03/18/2010 06:44 AM
Posts: 578

Thank you so much Betty,

You are such a compassionate woman. I believe that is because you have gone through so much in your life.

You too have chosen to be better and not bitterSmile thank you for that choice. It makes the world a better place.

The only good that can come through tragedy, besides our own growth, is reaching out to others with our experience, strength and hope.

All we have is our story....but it makes us who we are today.

God bless you, dear Betty.

Warmest hugs,


03/20/2010 04:41 AM
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Nancy love, I know we've talked about this privately and I think you are so wonderful for sharing about Ben here. YOu never know who you might have helped.

You and I have so much in common, one of those special connections...and sadly suicide is one of those things, but it makes our bond that much stronger. We can hold eachother up in those down times.

You are such an amazing woman and I'm so glad to be able to call you a dear friend. YOu know I'm always here for you and always will be.

Love you much dear Nancy.


03/20/2010 05:05 AM

Dear Nancy: Thank you for sharing your story about "Ben"...It brought tears to my eyes. You are a strong person..

Thank you for sharing your story, I want to print this out to give to Alex my niece who tried last year due to depression. I thank God each day for not taking her from us.

Many hugs to you Nancy, Julie

03/20/2010 12:00 PM
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nancy, thank you so much for the lovely note back; i didn't see it until now when julie replied above.

we are all that much better for having experienced the deep sadnesses we each of us have had.

but YOUR/JAIME'S/others who have gone thru a family member committing suicide is the worst when you had no warnings.

again, thank you for sharing ben's story; YOU HAVE MANY OTHERS; many who read the board only and never post.

may god watch over all of you who have experienced this and who teach others about what to look for and the deep sadness inside each of your hearts and sub-conconscience. hugs/kisses Smile


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