Blessings all-
I came across this today and I thought I would share. It's a way to gauge for yourself which one you are and which one you will become. We all have the ability to control our outlook on life...which one do you choose to be?
I think it's a great way to put things into perspective, I hope you do as well.
It was set up as columns in a grid under the headings of Victim, Survivor and Thriver.
1.V...Doesn't deserve nice things or trying for the "good life."
S...Struggling for reasons & chance to heal
T...Gratitude for everything in life.
2.V...Low self esteem/shame/unworthy
S...Sees self as wounded & healing
T...Sees self as an overflowing miracle
3.V...Hyper vigilant
S...Using tools to learn to relax
T...Gratitude for new life
4.V...Alone
S...Seeking help
T...Oneness
5.V...Feels Selfish
S...Deserves to seek help
T...Proud of Healthy Self caring
6.V...Damaged
S...Naming what happened
T..Was wounded & now healing
7.V...Confusion & numbness
S...Learning to grieve, grieving past aggrieved trauma
T..Grieving at current losses
8.V...Overwhelmed by past
S...Naming & grieving what happened
T...Living in the present
9.V...Hopeless
S...Hopeful
T..Faith in self & life
10.V...Uses outer world to hide from self
S...Stays with emotional pain
T...Understands that emotional pain will pass & brings new insights
11.V...Hides their story
S...Not afraid to tell their story to safe people.
T..Beyond telling their story, but always aware they have created their own healing
12.V...Believes everyone else is better, stronger, less damaged
S...Comes out of hiding to hear others & have compassion for them & eventually self
T...Lives with an open heart for self & others
13.V...Often wounded by unsafe others
S...Learning how to protect self by share, check, share
T...Protects self from unsafe others
14.V...Places own needs last
S..Learning healthy needs
T...Places self first realizing that is the only way to function & eventually help others
15.V...Creates one drama after another
S...See patterns
T...Creates peace
16.V...Serious all the time
S...Beginning to laugh
T..Seeing the humor in life
17.V...Uses inappropriate humor, including teasing
S...Feels associated painful feelings instead
T...Uses healthy humor
18.V...Uncomfortable, numb or angry around toxic people
S...Increasing awareness of pain & dynamics
T...Healthy boundaries around toxic people, incl. relatives
19.V...Lives in the past
S...Aware of patterns
T...Lives in the Now
20.V....Angry at religion
S...Understanding the difference between religion & personal spirituality
T....Enjoys personal relationship with the God of their understanding
21.V...Suspicious of teachers-- projects
S...Sees teacher as guide during projections
T...Sees reality as their projection & owns it.
22.V...Needs people & chemicals to believe they are all right
S...Glimpses of self-acceptance & fun without others
T...Feels authentic & connected, Whole
Post edited by: fabajenna, at: 02/14/2012 01:08 PM
All of my advice comes from research and personal experience. I strongly suggest that you each check with your doctor for approval before changing or adding anything to your treatment.
Peace . . . starts within each one of us. When we have inner peace, we can be at peace with those around us. When our community is in a state of peace, it can share that peace with neighboring communities, and so on. When we feel love and kindness towards others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace. And there are ways in which we can consciously work to develop feelings of love and kindness. For some of us, the most effective way to do so is through religious practice. For others it may be non-religious practices. What is important is that we each make a sincere effort to take our responsibility for each other and for the natural environment we live in seriously.
Author: 14th Dalai Lama
