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02/14/2012 12:56 PM


Posts: 1822
Senior Member

Blessings all-

I came across this today and I thought I would share. It's a way to gauge for yourself which one you are and which one you will become. We all have the ability to control our outlook on life...which one do you choose to be?

I think it's a great way to put things into perspective, I hope you do as well.

It was set up as columns in a grid under the headings of Victim, Survivor and Thriver.

1.V...Doesn't deserve nice things or trying for the "good life."

S...Struggling for reasons & chance to heal

T...Gratitude for everything in life.

2.V...Low self esteem/shame/unworthy

S...Sees self as wounded & healing

T...Sees self as an overflowing miracle

3.V...Hyper vigilant

S...Using tools to learn to relax

T...Gratitude for new life


S...Seeking help


5.V...Feels Selfish

S...Deserves to seek help

T...Proud of Healthy Self caring


S...Naming what happened

T..Was wounded & now healing

7.V...Confusion & numbness

S...Learning to grieve, grieving past aggrieved trauma

T..Grieving at current losses

8.V...Overwhelmed by past

S...Naming & grieving what happened

T...Living in the present



T..Faith in self & life

10.V...Uses outer world to hide from self

S...Stays with emotional pain

T...Understands that emotional pain will pass & brings new insights

11.V...Hides their story

S...Not afraid to tell their story to safe people.

T..Beyond telling their story, but always aware they have created their own healing

12.V...Believes everyone else is better, stronger, less damaged

S...Comes out of hiding to hear others & have compassion for them & eventually self

T...Lives with an open heart for self & others

13.V...Often wounded by unsafe others

S...Learning how to protect self by share, check, share

T...Protects self from unsafe others

14.V...Places own needs last

S..Learning healthy needs

T...Places self first realizing that is the only way to function & eventually help others

15.V...Creates one drama after another

S...See patterns

T...Creates peace

16.V...Serious all the time

S...Beginning to laugh

T..Seeing the humor in life

17.V...Uses inappropriate humor, including teasing

S...Feels associated painful feelings instead

T...Uses healthy humor

18.V...Uncomfortable, numb or angry around toxic people

S...Increasing awareness of pain & dynamics

T...Healthy boundaries around toxic people, incl. relatives

19.V...Lives in the past

S...Aware of patterns

T...Lives in the Now

20.V....Angry at religion

S...Understanding the difference between religion & personal spirituality

T....Enjoys personal relationship with the God of their understanding

21.V...Suspicious of teachers-- projects

S...Sees teacher as guide during projections

T...Sees reality as their projection & owns it.

22.V...Needs people & chemicals to believe they are all right

S...Glimpses of self-acceptance & fun without others

T...Feels authentic & connected, Whole

Post edited by: fabajenna, at: 02/14/2012 01:08 PM


02/14/2012 03:03 PM
Posts: 1454
Group Leader

Really cool Kim! Thanks! I'm quite in between S and T... making my way to T! Smile

02/14/2012 04:26 PM
Posts: 1822
Senior Member

That's what I like to hear Lauren!Smile

I already see you being a thriver..Wink

Blessings to you..


02/14/2012 08:57 PM
Posts: 2673
Group Leader

Love it!!! Thanks for sharing this, Kim!!! I printed this out & put it on my frig & mirror.

02/15/2012 10:39 AM
Posts: 1822
Senior Member

Raven, you're a thriver all the way..Kissing

You're an inspiration to us all.


02/15/2012 12:04 PM
Posts: 2673
Group Leader

Oh.... I don't know about all that? LOL!!! There's days I'm on my pitty pot too. I just try & take the good with the bad.

As my Grandmother would always say, "It Is What It Is!!!"

02/15/2012 12:12 PM
Posts: 1822
Senior Member

I think we've all had those days's when that happens and what we do with it that counts...

Your grandmother was a very smart woman..


Post edited by: fabajenna, at: 02/15/2012 12:13 PM

02/15/2012 03:23 PM
Posts: 634

I am def. a victim. hopefully I can somehow grow to become a survivor and then a thriver! I think it will take some time though for me...

02/15/2012 03:57 PM
Posts: 2673
Group Leader

It takes time to heal, Sebnova, Emotionally & Physically. Sometimes, I think the emotional part is harder than the physical. I'm not going to lie & say I haven't felt robbed by all this but it has opened my eyes to a whole new world. I wouldn't trade that for anything!!!

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