Scarlet819
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Hi all, I'm nervous to "tell my story," and I don't really know where to start. I don't know when I got it, so I don't know where the story begins. My senior year of college I got severely depressed. I ended up writing a suicide note, not with the intention of ending my life, but because I wanted to know what it would say (and I wanted it on hand should I decide to take that course of action). I tried to explain to my family and friends why I did it, why it wasn't their fault, and how I'd tried everything to spare them that pain. I couldn't adequately address why, if it was bad enough to cause me to take such drastic and irreversable action, I hadn't tried anti-depressants. Pride wasn't a good enough answer. So the next day, I called a therapist, made an appointment, and soon enough was on drugs. This is relevant because 1. I believe Lyme caused the depression and 2. the doctors I was seeing attributed all my Lyme symptoms to side-effects from the antidepressants. I went undiagnosed for at least 6 months (though looking back, I think I may have had it for much, much, much longer), which is pretty good in the scheme of things, and it was actually my mom who diagnosed me. Her best friend had contracted Lyme disease on a trip to Italy, saw the tick, got the rash, immediately got help, but is still sick and suffering. I moved home after graduation, and for the first month, both my parents thought I'd just run myself ragged the last semester--double majoring, writing a thesis, being super involved in extra-curriculars...so I was just decompressing by sleeping upwards of 18-20 hours a day. Finally, I broke down in front of my mom saying basically "I feel like I'm going crazy--everything hurts, I feel like I'm drugged all the time, I think my body is revolting against me." It clicked for her, recognizing the similarities between what I was describing and her friend's symptoms, and she demanded that I go get tested. After resisting for a while (I didn't want to get my hopes up that what I was experiencing actually had a name), I finally relented. The tests came back and I had Lyme, Bartonella, Babesia, HHV-6, Epstein-Barr, active Mono, and a couple other things that I now forget. I was also lucky because the mother of one of my good friends in middle-school is an LLMD. She was booked for months, but managed to squeeze me in as a graduation present. She's been great and I consider her one of my many saviors in this. I went on an anti-viral to kill the HHV-6, then started an antibiotics course for the Lyme and other co-infections. Of course I was also on a bunch of immune-support supplements. I've had other treatments that have proven decently effective since, but am currently experiencing a relapse. I'm better now (it's been two years since I KNEW something was wrong), but I'm still not GOOD. The mental symptoms are the worst for me--the depression, the brain fog, the memory loss, word searching, mood swings, panic attacks... I've done my research, as I'm sure the rest of you have as well, but if there's anything I can help anyone with, please please let me know. I've had a ton of support and mentors in this process and would love to be able to give back any of the help I've received. All the best, Scarlet |
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