SUICIDE- a hot topic I know

So I made a lot of stupid choices in my life. Not that that is an exuse. But my mind wasn't in my life. I didn't care, because he didn't care .... so I thought.

On the sane side of suicide we look at the person as selfish. "how can yoou do that to ME?"

on the other side, and I have been here before, so I know it to be true, you think the rest of the people are selfish. "how can you expect me to go on like this"

ok, what brought this all up is that last night , my husband and i got on a discussion on religion. Suicide came up, "do you go to heaven or hell, are you sent right back to do it right the next time, what really happens" Anyhow, I got on the selfish thing and he said "I'd understand if you did it" I know us lymies have our ups and downs, and this took me by surprise. he said he'd explain to the kids that I got up every day for 8 years and did my best and tried my hardest, he told me he honestly does't know how i've done it.

Wow. He said, just don't do it in the house. ok...strangely this gave me peace inside that he'd understand...it validated that he really sees what I'm going thru. Of course I told him I'd never do it anyhow seeing as I've been on that side of it, and I just could never do that to my kids and family. My mom to live that a second time..... probably all due to the same damn reason, lyme disease. I couldn't put her thru that.

How do you all feel on the subject? I ask lightly here...don't want to start anything. We can all be honest here, but don't get into anything with someone please.

I would like to offer up one of my favorite literary works of all time, The Divine Comedy, by Dante.

The first of the three parts of this work is Dante's vision of hell, called The Inferno. To Dante, hell is divided in to concentric circles with each circle representing a sin or sins. As the circles go down, the sins become more vile, with Satan held in bondage at the bottom. Your punishment in hell is on par with your sin in life.

Anyone who is fairly religious would know that most religions consider suicide to be a sin, a bad one. Dante has reserved a level in hell for those who take their own lives.

One interesting note on this, is that the beginning of the Inferno finds Dante actually contemplating suicide. He is in a dark wood, being pursued by beasts representing the temptations towards sin..."This man has not yet seen his last evening; But through his madness, was so close to it, That there was hardly time to turn about...", meaning that when Virgil (his guide through hell) came to him, Dante was nearly past the point of no return, unable to find his way to salvation, which is represented as the sun behind a mountain.

In a dark wood, trying to make one's way towards salvation, the sun behind the mountain. Does this not describe any of us who are suffering now? It is striking I tell you...just striking....

So, the 7th circle of hell is reserved for the violent, and is divided in to three rings. The outer ring is a river of boiling blood and the inner ring is a desert of flaming sand, with flaming flakes falling from the sky. The middle ring is a dense, thorny wood...The Wood of the Suicides.

This is Dante's representation of where he was at the beginning of the poem, and he created the place of suicide's to be just like the place he was in, a dark wood.

In this ring, the thorny trees are the suicides themselves, entangled and growing as part of the wood. Because these souls took their lives to escape pain and suffering, they are condemned to suffer more pain in hell, as Odious Harpies fly through the wood, snapping off pieces of the trees, causing pain and bleeding to the suicides. The suicides are also the only souls who are not bodily resurrected in their living forms, because they gave up their bodies to suicide.

I do not judge anyone who contemplates, attempts or actually does take their life. I know how it makes me feel personally - I think it is wrong and selfish - but I feel no place in putting that on anyone. I do not know what or how they feel, so I can't say for sure if their actions are justified. I can say I will never do it myself, but that is me. I would venture to say that there may not be a more personal choice in existence, than that of taking your own life.

Like Jaime, I give this information lightly, not to provoke confrontation.

Tom

Who knows, maybe it was faked, we never saw the body. although some of my family did in the hospital. I wish I could have gone there to say goodbye. I know my mom was protecting me from horrible images to keep in my mind and wanted me to remember the fun happy him. '

Gonna post this in the forum too...just so people don't think that's my intention, it's just a subject that comes up a lot with lymies, it's the main cause of death with LD. So I thought I'd open up communication about it. (I pm'd this to a friend and saw this post and wanted to add it to the post here) hope it doesn't confuse the issue....

no I just feel validated that he see's that I've been suffering like this, but I still get up every day, do what I need to do plus more...I'm the sick mom, and yet every DAY anoter mom is asking ME to pick up thier kids from school with mine!!! I have NEVER done that...maybe once.... but for real reasons , not "i'm tired" "im getting my hair done" whatever it is.... i dn't mind doing it, just stating the point I go above and beyond, and hubby and I have had issues lately, and it's nice to know now he see's I do, I don't sit on my rear and cry about this all day long. I'm here trying to help tothers in the same situation, others who may not know yet, ect.

I'll get back to this later, gotta take a kiddo to the park, on day 3 of no sleep!

Sbrose

j

Jessica

I would never follow through on the thought. It's my understanding, suicide is a sin. (A big one). Plus, I could never do that to my kids, either.

I believe God guided me through what I call "the maze of Lyme." The events that led to my recovery were planned. The timing was in the Lord's hands the whole time. Maybe I could have gotten better sooner...I don't know...when I look back, I don't think I was 'listening'. I don't need to make sense of it, I just want to help others find their way now.

God help us all,

Connie

You are on the right track now, we are going to find you a doc and get you some help with the LD. I can't believe how naive they can be.

Just so you all know, I went to a revival last night....growing up lutheran I have never known such a thing, quite a neat experience....and I prayed for all of you! So lets all start expecting some healing to happen here!

Julie