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quick note about "positive attitudes"--while its important to trust in yourself and your inner guide, and its important to not doubt your own treatment paths, exhorting others that they have to have a "positive attitude" may not be helpful to many. Barbara Held, clinical psychologist has this to say: Many Americans insist that everyone have a positive attitude, even when the going gets rough. From the self-help bookshelves to the Complaint-Free World Movement, the power of positive thinking is touted now more than ever as the way to be happy, healthy, wealthy and wise. The problem is that this demand for good cheer brings with it a one-two punch for those of us who cannot cope in that way: First you feel bad about whatever's getting you down, then you feel guilty or defective if you can't smile and look on the bright side. And I'm not even sure there always is a bright side to look on. I believe that there is no one right way to cope with all of the pain of living. As an academic psychologist, I know that people have different temperaments, and if we are prevented from coping in our own way, be it "positive" or "negative," we function less well. As a psychotherapist, I know that sometimes a lot of what people need when faced with adversity is permission to feel crummy for a while, to realize that feeling bad is not automatically the same as being mentally ill. Some of my one-session "cures" have come from reminding people that life can be difficult, and it's OK if we're not happy all of the time. This last point first became apparent to me in 1986. I came down with the flu accompanied by searing headaches that lasted for weeks afterward. Eventually a neurologist told me that a strain of flu that winter had left many people with viral meningitis. He reassured me that I would make a full recovery, but I was left traumatized by the weeks of undiagnosed pain. I really thought I had a brain tumor or schizophrenia. Being a psychologist didn't help; I was an emotional wreck. Fortunately it happened that my next-door neighbor was a brilliant psychiatrist, Aldo Llorente from Cuba. I asked him, "Aldo, am I a schizophrenic?" "Professor," he pronounced, "you are a mess, but you are not a mentally ill mess. You are just terrified." I told Aldo that two of my friends insisted that I cheer up. I tried to be cheerful for a week, but that only increased my distress. Aldo told me, "You say to them: 'Friends, I would like to be more cheerful, but right now I am too terrified to be cheerful. So I will let you know when I am not terrified anymore.'" The moment I delivered Aldo's message, I felt better. Aldo had made it OK for me to cope in my own way, to recover at my own pace, to be my own mess of a self. That is when I began to realize that I had been tyrannized by the idea that everyone must always have a positive attitude. Having flourished in my own authentically kvetchy way, I believe that we would be better off if we let everyone be themselves — positive, negative or even somewhere in-between. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?
storyId=15505690 me again: Id rather accept others' instincts and allow them to "be themselves" after all there are MANY who have succumbed from serious illnesses despite their "positive attitudes" and others who gallantly overcome despite lacking such a rosy outlook!! To possibly leave room for others to say " youre not positive, or positive enough, thats why youre still ill" is a disservice and frankly insulting to those facing all kinds of challenges. Thats why I say: IF being positive helps you--fantastic--and if being less rosy or crabby helps you--just as fantastic--whatever gets you thru this which we call "life"!!!! Finette |
"MD junction is a place for us to share our experiences both good and bad it is a safe haven from the ignorant and the doubters a place to vent ask advice or just get away from it all.
Of course, I don't really practice anymore, just for very close friends and family, it just takes too much out of me. You sound like you know your stuff... if you ever make it to ohio we can trade! haha.