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02/07/2008 03:32 AM


Posts: 189

Just wanted to share a secret, when I was in my sickest phase of Lyme I felt like I did not want to get well. It was such a scary thought and I was so embarresed about it, did not tell anyone, not even the councelor that was helpig me dealing with my sleep issues and pain control.

Maybe someone else is out there experiencing the same thing. Now I realize that it was totally okay to have those feelings, now when I can look back at my disease I understand how sick I was and how much I was struggeling to keep up as normal. To all of you that are suffering, make sure you get some good sleep and rest and try to stay away from guilt


02/07/2008 07:55 AM
Posts: 2399
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I'm an Advocate

great post Tina. Thank you for opening up and sharing this with us. I just posted something like this, about having to struggle and keep up as normal, how much that takes out of you... guilt is a horrible thing, it's one I need to work on. I feel guilty I can't be the mother I dreamed of. I"m a stay at home mom, and have missed so much already, they grow up so fast and I've been so sick thru it all.

02/07/2008 10:02 AM
Posts: 808

I agree. I thought it was a monumental struggle

to "keep up as normal." I've been sick the whole time

my kids have been growing up,too. We missed a lot, but

I am making up for it now. Since I am feeling so much

better, I'm even thinking about

home schooling next year. My children are 9, 7 and 4.

I'm not missing anything else.

02/07/2008 10:09 AM
Posts: 508

I wonder if it's like when you go through a break up and instead of listening to upbeat songs on the radio, you choose to listen to the sad, easy listening stations that make you cry?!

Might just be a part of our nature to torture ourselves a bit. Smile

I think it's normal that when you are in your worst depression, you don't want to pull yourself out.

I had guilt before I was diagnosed. I felt guilty and ashamed of being sooo lazy. I hated that I wasn't like all my friends who were getting so much done - I would just sit still and be tired. I never told anyone how bad I was feeling b/c I felt ashamed of being that way. And, I thought I was going to have to start going to counseling b/c I was so angry and frustrated all the time. It's a roller coaster.

Damn blood sucking ticks. They can have my blood, but please - leave me my mind! Smile

Thanks for sharing!!!

03/02/2008 03:55 PM
Posts: 53

Good posts! I see my self grieving the loss of who I used to be, what I could do and the goals that I had.

Well, it was not our fault to get sick. We have struggles to be believed, along with negative politics.

I carry HOPE with the fact of beating this disease, I demand my life back. I could not do this without all of you.

Do not ever give up on yourself, we deserve to be healthy again!

I will continue to search for better answers, just as this forum continues to list better answers. You will never fight this alone, as, all of of will be here.

Take care,



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