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05/03/2012 09:43 AM

depressed and feel very hopeless today(page 3)

Posts: 1454
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iren, thank you for that thoughtful reply! These things you mention are all amazing and I know that they work. Good job staying sober AND treating Lyme on top of it!

I pray you find healing and rest! Smile

Lots of love,



05/03/2012 09:49 AM
Posts: 50

That was an awesome post Irenwill, Seriously made my day. Smile I was so depressed, anxious..all of the above. Glad to see I am not alone. I really like the God box idea.

05/03/2012 09:58 AM
wanthealth12Posts: 309


I am glad I decided to make this post.

I did so because you am extremely anxious, is nice to hear things other people do to cope.

I have stubborn depression but I noticed it comes full force when I get the strange symptoms that feel like I am short of breath and my blood starts to feel like its siezing up.

I hope the doctor finds what that is because thats one symptom that bothers me the most and makes me have severe depression

05/03/2012 10:03 AM
wanthealth12Posts: 309


I loved gardening and now I hate it.I am a fear Im going to be reinfected again.....I dont even really go out much anymore.

I through all my garden stuff out last summer.

about a week ago a neigbor who never talks to me came and asked me if I can help her.I said with what?

she said your landscaping gardening ideas.

Ughhh.....that was painful.

I had to tell her I lost the touch and I am always in pain and blah blah blah.....(the lyme story)

she just looked like (what) this girl must be on drugs not on lyme.

I am way younger than her and a complete drugs would do to someone.

I want this wasy in appearance before it took a firn hold 3 yrs ago

05/03/2012 12:14 PM

Trevor_T - I am so glad you found that helpful Smile It really is how I get through this.

wanthealth - so sorry to hear that you have given up on gardening. I did several times give up on gardening temporarily.

But I kept getting drawn back. I just try to always wear long pants with socks and sturdy shoes,along with gloves and long sleeves.

I bought permethryn to spray on my gardening clothes and shoes, I just haven't done it yet.

but it's been kind of like my garden knows I need it. As long as I keep comign out at least every few days to look at it, water it, pull a few weeds, the flowers keep blooming.

Honestly, this year the flowers have been even more amazing than ever. I can only think that my garden wants me to be well.

I used to have a veggie garden too, but I don't have the energy anymore. So I'm just focusing on the flower bed out front. I enlist help when I need to - top dressing compost, turning water on and off, spreading mulch, etc.

But I'm the one who deadheads the blooms as they die, pulls the weeds, watches for aphids, etc.

I planted 3 bare root roses this spring. Almost passed out putting the first one in. My son (11 years old) planted the other two for me as I walked him through it. The buds are starting to form already.

There are many small miracles every day in a flower bed. I also have ladybugs, garter snakes, rabbits (babies and adults) and lots of birds who visit the garden. Some days it's all I can do to go look over the railing at it. But I still get to see the miracles happening.

05/03/2012 01:53 PM
Posts: 643

Thank you irenwill, I meant to post this earlier, but I had to have a bath then head off to math class.

But everything you said was right on Smile

I love gardens; I have a taken over my mom's flower beds to plant my veggies and fruits haha.

Last year me and my dad did, blue berries, raspberries, potatoes, carrots, green beans, peas, watermelon, pink blueberries (though it was a new plant we did not get any) tomatoes, we attempted 2 kinds of lettuce but it did not come up.

Radish, and white rasberries. I think that is all.

I am really excited for summer to come, so I can get the garden going again this year, it is such a wonderfull thing.

Though being out in the heat is really hard on me I passed out many times in the gardens last year, but I really enjoy it.

05/03/2012 04:15 PM
Posts: 92

I had to post to this discussion, I am a Christian, and I am struggling so deeply with God and my faith right now. I was severely abused as a child in every way possible, and now I am sick. I feel abandoned. I wanted to share my favorite Bible verse. Psalm 102. I am hurt and upset with my church, I have been treated very unfairly by them. My heart aches.

05/03/2012 08:00 PM
Posts: 92

kba, thanks for the response. I try to see roses in my thorns.

05/07/2012 11:36 AM

kba - so sorry to hear about your brother! Sending hugs and sympathy. Thank you for the congratulations.

caite - hang in there. Totally understand your pain and hurt. One of my major life lessons is that things work on my higher power's timeline, not mine. My comfort is that change is a constant -- there's no way things will stay the way they are forever. THAT is an impossibility.

all the best to you

Post edited by: irenwill, at: 05/07/2012 11:36 AM


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