Lyme Disease Support Group

I kinda feel the adrenal issue today badly.Like I am shutting down.

I happens alot and seems nothing helps it so I go back to bed and just lay there at 33 yrs old Like an old arthritic Granny.

I might as wel just go get a damn rocker. BITTER TODAY

I just wanna give up and go next door to my drunk neighbors house and get drunk

Just kidding! I hate alcohol!

Because no matter what happens in my little life, He never changes. He is always good, always loving, and always for me. This is my lifeline. I have hope.

I hope you have some hope as well. It does tend to get pretty dark some days with this disease. Find your strength. Find your anchor. <3

Lauren

I know this post is from few days ago but just now able to get to it.

This is the same words I here from my other half.He talks about the holy spirit and Jesus helping me through it but I dont understand.

I dont because I guess I have no relationship with God because If i did I would have faith.

He dragged me to church this past sunday.

They prayed over me.

When we were done I told the pastor I am very BITTER, and God knows what all is wrong with me and I keep getting more symptoms....if he wanted me well he would help me get well.

He replied that he understood the bitterness I felt because he too has a medical mystery and he also works part time in the ER and pastoring.Go figure.

Husband replied to the pastor "she is very angry with God"

yes I am....because I dont feel God is gonna get me out of this.

Im crippled by these thoughts.

The biggest thing is for you to do here is try to see that keeping your mind positive will be the best thing for your healing. Negative stress hormones and etc. will only inhibit the healing process.

And know that when you are at the right place, you may just start to see things from a new perspective. You ARE loved. You ARE cherished. And God does love us all equally. I am very sick, too. He didn't put this on me. I think about a parent who loves a child deeply. They can't keep that child from getting cancer or whatever disease you could insert into the scenario. And just the same, there is a lot in this world of freedom of choice that we humans are subject to. Not because of God putting it on us, but because we chose independence from Him.

I know this isn't a "preachy" forum and I typically don't post like this. I am not trying to cram anything down anyone's throat. I just wanted to expound as you have opened up a bit more in this direction.

Please know that everything I say here is in absolute love, and I want you to know I've been where you are. It hurts. It feels wild and unsure. It feels out of your personal control. The truth is, it is. For all of us. That's when I decided to let go of trying to control my life and allow God's love to penetrate my heart.

If you decide against all this, I will still accept and love you. Personal decisions have no bearing on loving others. Please understand that.

And I am available to talk here anytime. PM me if you like.

Lauren

I think that anger is a natural part of this disease. It's ok to feel it. But it's not ok to let it rule you or immobilize you. Make sense? I'm still working on that. It's difficult.

Something to mull over.... it sounds like you do have a relationship with G_d. Because if you didn't you couldn't be angry with him or her.

Personally, I am angry at all the doctors that mis-treated my son (and angry at myself for not doing the doctors' jobs for them).

I'm not angry at G_d. I don't know why. Maybe I have less belief than you do.

Take care of yourself.

I am angry at the world to tell you the truth.

It started out with doctors.All the years of being told I WAS HEALTHY and I had to argue NO NO NO Im not please find whats wrong.Now I know whats wrong I wish I didnt know because Im now angry about the truth.

I hate almost all doctors.Especially the one who KNOW THE TRUTH.

when my son was newborn his doctor tried to make me give him all the vaccinations required.

I felt a strong feeling to stop these doctors from making some more possible wrong decisions.

I had no idea about lyme or anything then I just knew I had something really wrong inside me and he could have it to and the vaccines could make it come out.

So I refused all vaccines.I had a severe verbal altercation in this docs office with him.He told me I was a bad mother and its not my choice.Its neglect.

What a joke

so My anger towards doctors grew worse.

They called Child protective services and everything.

I scheduled off from work and waited for them to show up at my door to challenge them.

He is 6 yrs old now and NOT ONE VACCINE ever.

I won not them but it deepened the anger.

I got to learn how to let go of all this anger I do know that.I know it huring me.

yes It is a hard pill to swallow and I just dont understand it all.

I would not let my kid go through all this if I knew they had it.

I wouldnt watch and allow.

So this is partly what my thinking is.

You can pm me to if youd like

thanks

When I'm depressed and questioning my existence, there are several things that I do to get passed it.

When I'm absolutely weak and fatigued -I just have to sleep. That's a given.

When I'm mobile and depressed - I try to get out and work in the flower beds or go somewhere to observe nature. Even if it's looking at landscapes, flowers, etc online.

Nature has been such a tremendous help - I love God's beautiful creation!

Praying is very comforting and soothing.

Sometimes, I attempt a craft project or do some reading.

Other times, I try to exercise - even if I'm hurting I'll push my way through it. Last night, I turned on a local Christian radio station and did movement/dance during the songs, and rode the exercise bike during the music sets.

I have a video of my granddaughter on my phone that I look at very often when I'm depressed and feeling down. Also, I'll pull up her videos on facebook.

We made a journal at a recent support group meeting. During the meeting, we clipped things from magazines, used markers and paints to make entries into one another's journals. The rest of the journal remains for our own personal entries.

The journal entries can be venting, release of what's bottled up - or, encouragement. I enjoyed finding photos of nature and gluing them on the page, painting around them and placing words such as "relax" "serenity" "peaceful" "nature", etc. Other photos or verbage referred to just expressing frustrations of Lyme!

I hope some of this might have helped - smiles and hugs to you!!!

Post edited by: nank59, at: 05/01/2012 08:41 PM

i may just pilfer that journal idea for a support group meeting down the road if you don't mind.

lots of love,

lauren

p.s. i use my bahamas photos from my honeymoon (12 yrs ago) and our 10th anniversary to remind me of beauty when i am in a bad place physically. it's my happy place.

Bill Johnson is very well known. http://www.bjm.org/testimony/28/lyme-disease-healed.html