Jomama,
I have a 15 yo son with LD and can totally relate to what you're going through. Here are some of my thoughts / experiences. PM me if you want to talk more.
Of course, teens don't always do what we say. It's actually their job to become their own person. It sounds like you deal with it well and occassionally blow up. But then you guys talk it out after tempers cool down. That's normal.
My son and I go through this. I've pretty much backed off on the pushing him. He explains it to me like this: 80% of the time I feel like I'm dying. The other 20% of the time I want to have fun. So I let him have fun.
I also KNOW that he wants to succeed in school and life. So I KNOW that when he can he will do his schoolwork. It's very difficult. I sometimes wonder if I've backed off to much.
But I cannot judge how much pain he is in. He basically stopped school in fourth quarter this year. He's supposed to go to tutoring for 1.5 hours a day but some days can't even make that because he's to sick, and the brain fog is so thick.
Then he often feels better in the evening and so I let his girlfriend comes over and they hang out. I used to wonder if I should only allow his friends over if he's done some schoolwork. But then I realize that hanging out is alot different, easier, than concentrating on schoolwork, or cleaning his room. And hanging out is important too for all of us.
LD also can cause ADHD which can make it very difficult to concentrate. Does your son have this? Very common in kids with LD. And can make some of the issues you're dealing with worse.
I take my sons computer and phone away at night so he doesn't skype or text and so he sleeps. And after he gets a treatment that makes him feel better and lifts his brain fog, he is required to do schoolwork. So I do set rules. But I try to respect the fact that HE (not I) knows what's going on with his body and brain. So I try to set rules that work for both of us.
I guess all I'm trying to say is you are not alone in going through this. It's difficult and I can tell you're a good mom. And you're trying to be a better mom, which is all we can do.
If your son is open to talking to a therapist it might be a good idea. No shame in that. Absolutely everybody I know needs therapy. Know what I mean? Mine is going to go back to his because of sadness and nightmares that are coming due to this disease.
Oh and maybe keep reminding your husband that you don't have to look sick to be sick.
Let us know how it's going with you. Or PM me if you want.
Mystic
I am not in the medical field and anything I say is simply my opinion and should not replace the advice of your doctor.
