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mem212
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I don't know where to begin....I m just soooo tired of the every day grind of ill health, doc appts, meds, missing Out in all things life. I feel like I have bitten off more than I can chew. Ill health is the only way I have ever know. I soo long to just be a free spirit & not have to worry about cause & effect. I really wish people who have good health Realized what its like for us who struggle to just survive normal daily activities. When "u look healthy" really adds Salt to the wound. Seriously when I'm @ an all time low I'm home in my house where others do not witness the pain I'm Feeling, trying to breath, pulse racing, not able to speak, do the simplest of things like walk to the bathroom. Read or Write, the list goes on & on................ I feel like I'm in a never ending cycle & I just want off. The depression Kicks in cause I feel like a failure as a Mom & a Wife. My husband who iv know since I was 21 almost 43 next month has Never really know the real me. I so want my life to be more than what it is....... I just want to enjoy what others take For granted daily. Wish friends & family could walk a day in my shoes. Except I don't wish my struggle on anyone. Thanks for allowing me to vent. I'm just trying to hold on & I don't feel I have the strength to continue. I know in my Heart I'm in my position for the greater good, but I feel I'm ready to move into a chapter in life where I'm healthy & Be proactive to help others. All the very best & ((hugs)) to u all who r fighting the good fight. Blessings, Michelle |
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shorelinelyme  Posts: 1252
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Michelle, I think we all have these moments of discouragement and feeling tired of fighting these illnesses. It honestly feels, sometimes, that we have to throw everything at these illnesses..to make them retreat into remission. We are all here to help each other through this, though... and I firmly believe that you can become well again. My Naturopath always reminds me that he has a patient who was sick more than 30 years with this- and after abx, herbs, rife...she is well again. Hang in there, your symptoms can become less and less and and you can have your life back again... We will keep you in our prayers and I really hope you start feeling better soon. Hugs, Jackie |
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fabajenna
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Hi Michelle- I am so sorry you are feeling like you were defeated..but please hang on and continue your fight.. I know it's hard to do more often that not, but please continue your fight.. It's lonely, humiliating, depressing, all of those things.. And then we reach the other side... It can be a back and forth struggle for some, and some just go forward with no stopping or setbacks in between.. We are all different Michelle, but the one thing we do have in common is lyme and co's.. And how YOU decide to treat yourself and go forward in your fight is up to you..we'll back you 100% Have you talked to your llmd about maybe switching things around for you? Maybe what you're doing is bringing out some severe herx symptoms that are happening for too long a time period and your body doesn't have time to catch up? Herxes can be harsh and be over with, or they can be mild but last forever.. I've read on here that one of the top LLMD's doesn't believe in herxing, that it is too stressful on our immune systems.. That is how my llmd feels as well.. Maybe this is/isn't a herx, I don't know, but talking to your llmd could help you figure out which direction to turn in because it seems like this is overwhelming you... You're in my thoughts and prayers Michelle, we all care about you and want you to be well.. Please feel better soon.. peace |
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Julie4848
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Never give up the fight...Fight with all you have, I know its very hard to do at times, but believe me in the end you will win this war, it just takes time and I know how hard at times it can be. |
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TaraT Posts: 4164
VIP Member
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Hey makal, thanks for posting. I feel exactly like that so many days. *HUGS* With Him we "live" no matter the circumstances. At His feet peace of mind can be found. Peace that passes all understanding is my quest now and forever.
Numbers 6:24-26
"The LORD bless you and keep you;the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace." |
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inkyblck  Posts: 446
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Michelle, you probably don't realize, but you, and your fight for health, are a source of inspiration for me ~ thank you for being YOU, and for your determination ... With that said, YOU are not alone - your fight is our fight ~ we're here to help, so let us know what we can do .... I am NOT a "lymie" ~ I loathe that term ... I will not be defined by the vile bacteria that will very soon be out of my system ~ If you consider yourself a "lymie" right now, what will you have left when you rid yourself of the bacteria ~ nothing ??? ... Don't be a "lymie", be YOURSELF and fight it ...
...
And by the torrent on the banks thereof on both sides shall grow all trees that bear fruit: their leaf shall not fall off, and their fruit shall not fail: every month shall they bring forth firstfruits, because the waters thereof shall issue out of the sanctuary:and the fruits thereof shall be for food, and the leaves thereof for medicine. ~ Ezekiel 47:12 |
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peachafrass Posts: 35
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i totally understand how you feel and have felt the same way many times. just know that you are not alone and that people here are praying and thinking of you. |
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waxby  Posts: 4124
VIP Member
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hello michelle me too google and read wild condor's story ~~~from my straight jacket~~~out on a limb~~~lookin like a cocoon~~~hangin by a thread~~~waitin for a butterfly~~~under the moon~~~lovey-dovey~~~Mitchell ~~ "The way to 'Heaven' is to bring it with you ..." -Mitchell
~~ "Sometimes, we gotta go through hell to get to 'Heaven'" -Mitchell
~~ "The way out is in" -Mitchell
~~ "A miracle speaks ...'I don't believe in Miracles.' " -Mitchell
~~ "Life is good, even when it isn't." -Mitchell
~~ "Sometimes you gotta lose to win." -Mitchell
~~ "It's easy when it's easy! Find reason, purpose and meaning when it's hard!" -Mitchell
~~ "If you're gonna think, think again!" -Mitchell
~~ "Make it so!" ...
~~ “When life do what it do, as it do-do, simply say ‘Of Course!’ (to soften life’s ‘blows’)” - Mitchell
~~ A master once said, "When embarking on the spiritual path, 'Oh Dear! There's no turning back! You've really done it now!' "
~~ “Not thoughts be your guide, rather, guide your thoughts.” -Mitchell
~~ "That which is within, and that energy entering this body/mind/spirit, causing harm and ill health, must and will be transformed into love healing energy and sent out in every direction" -Mitchell
~~ One morning ten years ago I awoke from a dream chanting over again and again, and writing this down so as not to forget ... "It doesn't matter who did what, there's nowhere else to go but up ..." -Mitchell
~~ "This life, our life, and what we do with it on this planet is “simply” a display, a reflection, of what is going on in our consciousness. The proof is in the puddin’. Look at our planet, what humans are doing to it, and with it, and to one another, and ask yourself ... ~ 'How’s this working for us/me?' ” -Mitchell
~~ "Step away from monkey mind, not tangle ... Observe ... Inhabit your higher self ..." -Mitchell
~~ "Anything is possible, but manythings you think are true, are not ... " -Mitchell
~~ "Grow where you are planted ..." -Mitchell
~~ "Change your future now ..." -Mitchell
~~ “Write your equation … 4 u r the sum of u … “ -Mitchell
~~ “We are largely a product of our environments … how’s your inner environment doing? …” -Mitchell |
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mem212
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THANK U ALL!!!!! Ur kind, supportive, & wonderful words have so touched my heart. I plain on reading & re reading ur comments to help me thru this dark moment I m experiencing. I too will take what u Have said to heart & do what I need to do To keep forging ahead on my journey to better health. Thank u for sharing from Ur heart to mine! My thoughts & prayers r with each of u as u continue on ur journey. What a blessing it is to have ur support & understanding as we all have similar experiences & can relate to one another. It helps to know u understand as u have too experienced. Loved ones who do not have Lyme & Co can sympathize but not comprehend the trials & tribulations we must endure. Thank u all so very much!!! Many hugs & blessings to each of u!!! Thank u with all my heart, Michelle |
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Bettyg Posts: 26574
VIP Member
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michelle, mitchell mentioned googling for wildcondor's story; she's an online friend of mine. her story has beenon cable, UNSOLVED HEALTH MYSTERIES, on lyme disease; it's on the HEALTH CHANNEL,which i don't have soi've never seen it. she has her site with good info galore. if yougoto her site, tell her hi from bettyg, iowa, will you? bettyg, iowa leader BettyG, IOWA ACTIVIST
RETIRED llmd coordinator of 6 yrs; group leader
NOTE: I DO "NOT" USE CHAT thanks!
**************************************
NO INFORMATION SHOULD BE CONSIDERED MEDICAL ADVICE.
please see my WELCOME LETTER/BEGINNER'S LINKS with important links/info galore :)
http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/lyme-disease-support-forums/general-support/2356916-bettygs-welcome-letter-wgood-beginner-links-
Any information provided should not be used to take the place of advice from your personal physician or other professional.
Information on those sites is the opinion of those who publish the sites and is NOT necessarily that of BettyG.
43 yrs. chronic lyme; 35 yrs. misdiagnosed by 40-50 drs. unacceptable; see my profile for more. |
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