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03/29/2011 01:51 PM

Lazy or just Lyme

rowergirl2010
 
Posts: 808
Member
I'm an Advocate

Some of you know I work full time 40 plus hours which is cut back from previous years due to feeling bad, attend college class once a week, and a year long conference.

I love each these opportunities but the workload to go with each has gotten overwhelming being so tired and sick all the time.

I have been being encouraged to exercise so I started walking with a friend a few miles for the past two weeks with a friend. We have only gone once a week but something considering I started at zero and out schedules don't exactly match.

My boyfriend just berated me for 15 minutes because I am not doing something daily like 5 minutes. I agree that would be a good thing, but I would really like to get rid of some other task on my to do list before adding something else.

I have things undone and over due which makes me feel I shouldn't be adding to the list.

He says these are all just excuses. Am I using Lyme as an excuse? I am trying not to because I don't want to be seen that way. I am trying to fulfill prior commitments!

Overwhelmed and being told that I am not doing enough. I am trying my very best to the point that I am totally exhausted after work because I got to do my job for the kids I work with. I would be taking one of my after work naps if I wasn't so torn up about this.

I am doing the supplements, walking more during school hours instead of sending my students on errands, and other things. I have not been "exercising" regularly though because more physical strain is draining and I was trying to conserve my energy.

Maybe I am just tired and over reacting? Maybe I am making excuses for my lack of exercising and work production? I don't know! How would I even begin to assess that?

Any ideas would be great! I know my boyfriend in his own way is trying to make me feel better.

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03/29/2011 02:13 PM
Jan1960
Jan1960  
Posts: 314
Member

Ok..I have to respond to this one...My husband says the same thing to me all the time. It's so easy to say when you're feeling good! You work 40 hours per week? I honestly don't know how you do that.

I admit, getting some excersise is always a good thing..but NOT if it will land you in bed the next 3 days. (This is what my doctor told me). You're exausted..only do what you can, when you can. Remember you are sick...if you had the flu, you'd be in bed...and I guarantee if he gets sick..he'll be in bed...

I think I'm ranting but this is a sore subject with me..Be good to yourself ..and don't feel guilty about it..Smile

Jan..(whew..I feel better now)..LOL


03/29/2011 02:20 PM
Lindy1998
Lindy1998Posts: 21
New Member

I can relate to this too. I get the feeling that some of the people I work with think my "Lyme's gets worse" when I want to get out of doing something. Then I start to question myself and think that maybe I am imagining I'm feeling like crap again, but a fever of 100.6 isn't a lie. I sometimes think my ex-husband thinks I use this as an excuse so I don't have to deal with my 12 year-old son's behavior too. I also work 40 hours a week plus I'm driving at least an hour each day for work. I am so worn out when I get home, I can't do anything. I used to work out for at least 30 minutes every day. I used to be hyper and couldn't sit still. Now, I'm not me anymore. I get a little taste of being me here and there, but that's it. I barely remember who I used to beSad

03/29/2011 02:27 PM
rowergirl2010
 
Posts: 808
Member
I'm an Advocate

Jan I have no other way to pay the bills, not sick enough for disability. My main symptom at the moment is fatigue with the others being present, but moderated by heating pad, rest, etc. I agree getting exercise would be good for me. I just feel swamped at the moment.

I could have easily told college (an hour drive away) that I was withdrawaling from my course when I got my diagnosis, but I wanted to finish it out. I could have also withdrawn from my conference, but knew I would miss lots of great experiences.

I have stuff to do and he is now hanging up on me - tired of my so called excuses. So going to try to pull myself together and get down to business.


03/29/2011 03:53 PM
rowergirl2010
 
Posts: 808
Member
I'm an Advocate

Lindy I feel the same way at times. Yeah I used to get to work sometimes at 4:30am and work a whole day. I would naturally be tired, but I had so many to do that it couldn't all be done from home or in the office.

I bring more home now because I can be more comfortable doing work.

Eventhough my boyfriend and I talked about it he said that all he hears lately is that "I can't". I don't understand. He wants me to know my limitations and do less at work (just getting by at work), but do more elsewhere in the process. Confused I guess.


03/29/2011 04:46 PM
fabajenna

Hey girl-

When you feel you can't do something and even verbalize it, then don't do it.

You don't need to justify to anyone why, or even rationalize it.

Lyme works in mysterious ways, and you have not sounded like the lazy type in the time you've been a member here.

Your body is telling you to slow down..when it does, you need to honor that.

In my honest opinion..Wink

peace girlSmile

Post edited by: fabajenna, at: 03/29/2011 04:48 PM


03/29/2011 04:59 PM
rowergirl2010
 
Posts: 808
Member
I'm an Advocate

Lazy is not my personality. I am rarely doing nothing, except when exhaustion hits then I feel like a puddle on the couch.

Just hurts more than anything when I feel like I am throwing everything I got at my to do list. He mentioned my long day last week when I had to go college class then had a conference drive to afterwards of course after teaching.

It took everything I had plus multiple infusions of coffee/soda to make that. I can't do that every day or every week. I do that once a month maybe (only if conference happens to start on a Thursday).

The next conference starts on Tuesday and then I will have conference on Wednesday and come back for class (I have only experienced that arrangement once).

Thanks fabajenna!


03/29/2011 05:01 PM
Jan1960
Jan1960  
Posts: 314
Member

Amen to that! Listen to your body...it tells you what it needs. I completely understand that you have to work...I really just admire all of you that do because right now I couldn't..well..I could but i'd be fired..Smile

03/29/2011 05:17 PM
rowergirl2010
 
Posts: 808
Member
I'm an Advocate

I worry about that a lot Jan. So I do very little around the house in an effort to have energy to do my school or college work. What time I don't sleep is usually spent on a work task.

I am trying to eliminate down time during the school day to be the most productive and force myself out of the trailer to walk.

Staying cooped up drives me up the wall, but in the process make every trip up the hill worthwhile with a stack of paperwork or other school business.

Tonight I am trying to write a graphic novel (comic book) for college class. Mine is a murder mystery set on the horse ranch I worked on a few years ago.

The creative juices aren't particularly flowing - not in the right mood for it I suppose.


03/29/2011 05:39 PM
fabajenna

Hey girl-

Just think of the next person that tells you that you aren't doing enough and create the murder around that!Shocked Laughing

I'm sure you are going to do a wonderful job on your novel..it sounds very exciting!!

You'll have to post some of it when it's complete...Smile

Relax when you need to girl, pace yourself, and try to find just a little bit of time each day, even for 5 minutes, to do EXACTLY what will make YOU most happy...

It goes a long way.

peace to you girl

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