````````````Life, a Lucid Dream?```````````````````by Mitchell```````
~~~Thank you Shana,
~~~Regarding your "Do you ever have a bad dream and in it you are telling yourself to wake up and you just keep dreaming.
I feel that way. Like this is just a nightmare and maybe if I keep telling myself to wake up I will and feel like my old self again."
~~~Forget about your old self. It is gone as a fading dream. Create a new you!
````````````Life,a Lucid Dream?````````````
~~~Are you familiar with lucid dreaming where in a dream we are aware that we are in a dream and are able to consciously interact with it?
~~~I think our life is a dream, or a nightmare. Only we take life for granted and often let the dream, life, interpret us, like a dream seems to.
~~~We think we have free will and that we have complete control. But I like to say "the proof is in the puddin."
Just look at the world and see all the easily solvable unsolved problems. Starvation, war, intolerance, injustice, cruilty, polluted greenhouse earth.
Some control huh? Where is our lucidity? Not a dream? Sounds like a nightmare doesn't it?
~~~Lyme disease is like a nightmare where we have no control. We try to interact with it but it is unstopable, unshakeable, like a bad dream.
~~~But there is one thing that life and Lyme cannot take away from us and that is our Spirit. Unless we let it.
We can interact with this dream and make it lucid. We do have a degree of control. We do have free will.
~~~But this free will is not free. It takes tremendous effort to find it and exert it. Life and Lyme takes everything we have and leaves us left with a tiny morsal of a reality that is bigger than we can imagine. This tiny morsal is almost imperceptible if we do not awaken in this dream and find it.
~~~But when we do awaken in this dream and become lucid in it, we realize that this tiny seemingly hidden morsal is infinitely expansive.
In this teeny weenie tiny morsal is the seed of truth, compassion, love. All we need to do is wake up and water it.
Our Life and this Lyme is the compost, the fertile soil. Our Spirit is the Sunshine from within to allow it to grow, to bust out of this shell and take root.
~~~I sound like those that tell us Lyme Patients to snap out of it. Or the Drs that don't believe us. See a shrink.
Just do a round of antibiotics and you'll be fine. Stop your complaining. I like to just say to them, "Yeah? Try this!"
~~~But I'm not just one of "them." Not in the "traditional" sense.
I'm one of the sickest Lyme patients I know. Eleven years of suffering, torture, torment, suicidal, pure hell.
A hundred symptoms. Major symptoms. Ones that make me wish I were dead.
~~~I can no longer work at my job that I love. I'm completely housebound and almost completely bedbound.
~~~And when I do struggle out of bed after peeing in my bottle, I can't do it without a cane. If I'm lucky, and often I am not, maybe I won't fall and split open my head over my eyebrow and lay in a puddle of blood.
Or fall on my kitchen floor and too weak to get up to call from my pocket cell phone my good neighbor to scoop me up off the floor.
~~~Or roll out of my bed and paralyzed pee myself.
Or wake up completely paralyzed and ambulanced to the hospital for an appendectomy.
~~~I am too weak to shower or bathe, I use a washcloth when I am not too weak.
I am fortunate enough to have friends that change my bed, take out my trash, vacuum, cut and wash my hair, food shop, etc...
~~~So I'm not like a catholic priest offering marriage counseling.
I'm the real deal. The raw deal. I'm here in the deepest, darkest trenches with all you Lyme Patients.
I'm speaking from the depths of Lyme hell. I'm in this nightmare.
~~~But...I am awake. I am aware. I am watering and fertilizing with this Lyme compost.
I am turning this Lyme into wine.I win!
~~~Winning lucidity in this nightmare is not about complete control such as ridding my body of Lyme-succeding on a physical level.
If we do not succeed on a physical level, we may think we have lost and want to give up and lay down and die.
~~~Been there, done that. Winning lucidity in this dream is not about, necessarily, controlling the physical but about conquering the mind, which is a product of the brain, which is of the body.
~~~We are not that. We are THIS. SPIRIT...Caught in a bad dream.
Don't believe this bad dream. Dream a new one. Be lucid in it. Know who you really are. Not who you are lead to believe.
~~~Who are you? You are Devine. All you need do is be the center of this storm, the EYE, caught in this huricane.
~~~Easy for me to say? Hell no! I trudged my way here, still trudging. You can too!
~~~Don't give up. Don't give in. This is the ultimate challenge. This is the Supreme healing. If we happen to dominate the physical, the material, this will be only a bonus, not the summit.
```````~~~from my straight jacket~~~out on a limb~~~lookin like a cocoon~~~hangin by a thread~~~waitin for a butterfly~~~under the moon~~~Mitchell~~~
edited; used quotes and spaced after periods/commas for mitchell's 2 finger typing 
out of love for you my friend. bettyg, iowa leader
