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06/03/2010 03:14 AM

need to vent, really need some support

jaime1978
jaime1978  
Posts: 2399
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I had a really aweful day yesterday, I was vomitting ALL day, violently. I'm SO tired of this. I've been puking for what 4 years now, there doesn't seem to be anything they can do.

At first it started with treatment, I thought it was the abx, then I thought it was my gall bladder because it was only functioning at 20% so I had that out...one of my many surgeries thru all this...

When I stopped conventional treatment it seemed to turn into a hormonal thing, about a week before my period.

Then this happend...a little background, I have always been the one my so called "friends" call and say "I'm tired can you pick up so and so from school" or whatever lame excuse they had, even though I wouldn't have had slept in like 10 days, and have a plastic bag with me puking in the car, but I was ALWAYS there to get my kids....

well this one woman in particular turned out to be a recreational drug user, would always ask me for my soma's, and pain meds then I found out she was doing coke and other crap....

well once again I was picking up her kids and my kids, on no sleep and feling like crap, I ended up falling asleep in the car waiting to get the kids...she flipped out on me (this was about 4 months ago),some of you may remember when I originally posted about this.

well yesteday I was so sick that hub actually picked up the kids for me, FIRST TIME EVER anyone has helped me, well he ran into her and she actually said to him "I just want you to know I don't have anything against you or the kids" and continued to dog me basically...

I was SO HURT that my husband didn't stand up for me, it would have been nice if he said "you know that's my wife you're talking about, she's covered your ass for 3 years , messes up ONE time and you write her off"

I feel SO alone. I have had NO family support, NO friend support, I'm a Christian woman, and I have always taught my kids by example by doing things for other people even at my sickest, and I just feel like the good guy always finishes last.

I don't do things for other people to get things in return, that's not what I mean, but it would be so nice if I had even the smallest bit of support. Even thru my sickest times, I still make sure my kids are taken care of, hub is taken care of, heck the man gets laid more than anyone I know, cuz if I don't he pouts like a child, the house is taken care of,

I've always made every day special in some way, holidays, birthdays etc.

I'm just so insainly tired of this. With this relapse I'm really falling into a depression now too.

I'm so sorry I just really needed to vent to someone who would understand, and us lymies are the ONLY ones who understand.

Thank you for listening.

hugs to you all

jaime

Reply

06/03/2010 03:45 AM
Julie4848

Jaime: I'm so sorry 1st that you are feeling so bad again, I'm praying hard and sending over an angel to sit with you...Smile

2nd, your husband should be ashamed of himself, they speak before they think, and once the words are spoken its pretty hard to take them back.

You are NOT ALONE--you have US, all of US...

PLEASE try and not get into a depression, I did and its hard to come back from...Don't let the depression get the best of you, you are a much stronger person then that...

Is there anyone at your church you can speak with?? Sometimes we just need someone to listen to us without giving advice, venting to me is such a great thing to do, keeping it all bottled up inside is not good for anyone.

Always remember you are a good person, heart of gold, and STOP doing for other's, I did, yup its hard but I finally said ENOUGH and let me tell you it works...

We are all here for you, always remember that....

Hopefully today is a better day for you!!

Love Julie


06/03/2010 06:09 AM
erica626
erica626  
Posts: 2
Member

Wow, I feel like moving to where you are and taking care of you. Sometimes people just suck. Sorry about your situation and I agree that you just stop doing so much for others, say enough! And I to hope you have a better day. Try to do something for you today.

Erica


06/03/2010 06:25 AM
shorelinelyme
shorelinelymePosts: 1252
Senior Member

Jaime,

You are in our prayers. It's hard enough to not feel well- never mind deal with all of this- which can only make you feel worse.

Friends- when trying to heal our bodies with an illness like Lyme & co. it is so essential to limit the time with those who drain our limited energy or make us feel worse. Maybe this whole situation before was a blessing- so you don't spend as much time with this friend...

We are always here for you and understand how difficult this is for you. I am truly convinced that no matter how hard others try- they can't possibly know what a day with Lyme disease is like until they experience if first- hand.

I hope you're having a better day.

God Bless,

Jackie


06/03/2010 07:54 AM
sgov
Posts: 23
Member

Jaime, first of all, it's ok to vent. In fact, it's better to get out all your feelings than keeping it tightly capped.

Now, about your friends. This whole lyme saga made me realize who are my true friends and who are not. So-called "best friends" never called or checked in on me.

Acquaintances suddenly turned into good friends as they helped (without me asking them to) with food shopping, picking up kids if I was stuck at a medical appt, inviting me out to lunch so I wouldn't be depressed and alone at home. So, this was a sifting process for me to separate the good apples from the bad.

more importantly, I now have a theory of how life should be perceived. Life should be perceived like a beautiful big,large tree. To keep it healthy, dead branches need to be pruned/chopped off. The tree needs to be nourished for it to thrive.

So chop off your negative influences and nourish the positive influences in your life. Your tree will look beautiful.

Go ahead and discard those useless "friends". Find a support group in your area where you might be able to meet new, like-minded folks. And have your husband read your post. If it doesn't crush his heart, I dont know what else will. The anguish in your post is palpable.

Take care of yourself, you're worth it.


06/03/2010 08:56 AM
lindaca
 
Posts: 1009
Member

sgov, I found the same thing. Friends I thought would help were always too busy, people who were not as close were the ones who stepped in to help with trips to the doc's office.

Julie, I'd close the candy store and let the hubs pout for a while until he figures out that you're just too worn out to function. Hang out with some toddlers and learn how to put NO back into your vocabulary!


06/03/2010 09:07 AM
Jennkat03
Jennkat03  
Posts: 332
Member

Oh Jamie....I wish more than anything right now that we were closer!! It would do you a world of good just to have someone, anyone, who understands you and honestly just wants to help!! I am sorry that I am so very far away and can't do that for you!!

I can feel all of your emotions and I hurt for you...I agree with sgov. Have your husband read your post. If it doesn't move him or make him understand what you are going through at least a little bit then he is a clod!!

I also agree with the others, learn to say NO, it can really be your lifesaver in times like these. Others just have to understand you are ill, and step up to the plate. It shouldn't be you all the time!!

If there is ANYTHING I can do to help you Jaime, I mean it, ANYTHING, please don't hesitate to ask....it would make me so happy to be able to help...even if it is just something small!!

Stay strong lady, you will get through!!


06/03/2010 11:56 AM
zoemajik
zoemajik  
Posts: 666
Member

((hugs)) Thoughts and prayers for you today, Jaime.

I agree with the others about saying no, avoiding toxic people as much as possible, etc.

<shrug> You deserve some apologies. Whether you make that known or not is up to you, of course...

I hate posts like this. I can understand when people who DON'T LIVE WITH YOU don't understand, but anyone under your roof is well aware that you are ill. I just don't get it, I don't know what to say.

((((hugs))))) Here for you always,

Valerie


06/03/2010 01:04 PM
sunshine4ere
sunshine4ere  
Posts: 579
Member

My poor Jaime,

I am so sorry this has happened to you. I remember when all this happened and how unfair it all was.

I know what hurts you more than that moron, that John didn't stand up for you. You need to share that with him how much that hurts you. He put his fear of confrontation ahead of your feelings.

Please be kind to yourself right now, you are going through enough. You don't need any more drama but you do need to share your honest feelings with John.

Stuffed feelings only continue to poison. We can cut off any toxic idiot, but the ones that we really need, need to know what we need from them. They don't always know or say they don't....so we have to share with them.

He can still be the man by phoning her or somehow telling her he doesn't appreciate her treating you the way she is and that you are his wife and deserve more. Otherwise, stay out of his face. That would score big points with you, I know that.

Sometimes I haven't said things when I should have, but I've gone back and confronted the issue after the fact. If John would do that, I'm sure it would help.

So sorry this has happened to you,

Love you so much Jaime,

Nancy, your Canadian momma


06/03/2010 01:19 PM
TaraT
TaraT  
Posts: 4164
VIP Member

Jaime I saw something very similar to this story on Mystery diagnosis. They couldn't figure out what it was....The girls galbladder was at 20% then the vomiting came back after taking it out....

Then they took out her appendix for the extreme vomiting..it turned out after they told her it was in her head that she actually had a Sphincter of Oddi dysfunction.

A muscular valve that controls the flow of digestive juices (bile and pancreatic juice) through the ampulla of Vater into the second part of the duodenum. It is named after Ruggero Oddi. The Sphincter of Oddi is relaxed by the hormone Cholecystokinin (CCK) via vasoactive intestinal polypeptide (VIP). Clinical significance

More from Wikipedia.org »

Read more: http://www.righthealth.com/topic/Sphincter%20of%20Oddi? as=clink&ac=1426&afc=1691636273&p=clinkl#ixzz0pp6S5FtX

On another note here....if your husband is ANYTHING like mine then he is in total denial that you are even sick.

Everytime someone calls to check on me like my family etc...and they talk to HIM it's always "Oh she's doing really good."

Even when I was in the hospital dying...he told everyone I was great......He is in total denial..

I truly believe it would just be TOO hard emotionally for him to admit that I'm really sick.....and guys like that tend to think a like...

He knows you are sick but will never say it where he can hear it....and that is probably why he didn't even think to bring that up with her...and couldn't really say anything pertinant to that situation without bringing up your health....

I saw on tv recently that type of personality that the woman has who went off on you...when they write you off after ONE failing in their eyes.....It's a mental status that isn't good....Can't remember exactly what it was but I THINK IT IS "BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER"....

Those are the people that can snap and be jealous of you in a second....love you while you are pleasing them but throw you away just like that without a care...

If she's doing drugs etc....then that falls into that disorder as well...They'd never kill themselves if they go totally off....they kill other people.

Post edited by: TaraT, at: 06/03/2010 01:28 PM

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