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Claire138"It's been a year since I joined the Parkinson's Disease Support Group on MDJunction and all I can say is thank you all for the support, compassion and friendship I've received and been able to give as well. It was a lonely night when I came upon this site, but the nights aren't that lonely anymore...
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Lyme Disease ForumsGeneral & Supportjust so down
12/02/2009 04:35 PM
jaime1978
jaime1978
 
Posts: 2399
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I know many of you think of me as little miss positve attitude, always a word of encouragment, but truth is, I have my very dark and low times too.

The past few months have been increadibly stressfull in many ways, and it's caught up to me. I've been a sea of tears all day.... hub usually works from home...well, I made homemade spagetti and as you would all know, that's a real take on when you feel like crud. So 4pm comes and he gets called into work to fix a computer server...because HE"S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DO ANYTHING THERE! He won't be home until I'm guessing midnight, and this was just the icing on the cake..I was down all day, crying on his shoulder half the day, Just things like "i can't do this anymore, why won't God just heal me, I'm so stressed I don't know which way is up anymore"

So I have half the mind of calling his boss and demanding he give my husband a raise, and threaten him with legal action while I'm at it. My hub is salary, BUT he is legally entitled to time and a half, unless you are a manager that doesn't hold true...so legally he should at least be making time and a half. And I'd love to know why there are so many computer programers there earning what he is when THEY CAN"T DO ANYTHING...why is it him always getting called, heck they even call about their home pc's , think he gets extra pay for that? nope. I just talked to him twice, it's 7:30 here, I'm not expecting home anytime before midnight...what crap.

trying to get the kids in bed on my own is insaine,we have a routine, and it's totally messed up..

tomorrow will be so much better, he's going to a concert with his best friend....

so I'm gonna allow myself to wallow in my lousy mood, and listen to depressing music...maybe get out my guitar...

thanks for reading

xoxo

j

Please do not take anything I say as medical advice. I am not a doctor.

~lyme disease support group leader~
please pm me with any special concerns
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12/02/2009 05:31 PM  Top
lydian
lydian
 
Posts: 538
Member

Smile Glad you are venting. It is so important for you to do that. Yes, I have been told that I am too positive, too. Whistling

But, we all have our moments and we need to get those dark, horrible thoughts out too. It always makes me feel better, like a burden has been lifted.

I hope you feel better tomorrow. All my best.

LydiaWink


12/02/2009 05:43 PM  Top
Julie4848

Jamie: Hang in there kido..I know the stress you are under..

Regarding OT, I know the feeling, Jim works 12 hour shifts and with OT its 16 (like tonight) since he is a 911 supervisor, and during hard times like the world is in, its even worse, I have not seen Jim in over a week..Sad And when on Salary its even worse, they don't have to pay OT, at least not in the state of illinois. My last job I was salary and at times I would work a 50 hour week for the same pay, I said NEVER AGAIN...

Try and be thankful he has a job at the moment, even tho you need him. You have MD as your second family...

Crying is good for the soul, cry all you want, in the end it will make you feel better..Smile

You know me, try and look at the bright side, you will have dinner for tomorrow and won't have to cook...Smile

Put the kids to bed, get a nice tall glass of wine and take a nice long hot bubble bath and put all the worries behind you, even if its only for 1/2 hour.

Many hugs

J


12/02/2009 05:45 PM  Top
debra28
debra28
 
Posts: 201
Member

Jaime,

You are always there for everyone -- you are so entitled to vent. I was crying today to -- I feel my lyme has gotten to my heart. This round of abx doesn't seem to be working and I'm lost -- I know how you feel when you keep thinking you are going to feel good today and you JUST FREAKIN' DON'T!

Thank you Jaime -- for all your help on this miserable journey!


Previous discussions I participated in:
OMG! This is so amazing for me.
please help!
"twitches"

12/02/2009 06:08 PM  Top
Kyri
KyriPosts: 121
Member

Hang in there Jaime!! My heart goes out to you.

12/02/2009 06:17 PM  Top
lishjolene
lishjolene
 
Posts: 145
Member

hugs! sometimes once you vent you just feel better! hope this is the case! everyone has down days, weeks or even months but we all here for you!

12/02/2009 06:30 PM  Top
waxby
waxbyPosts: 4134
VIP Member

~~~I hear you Jaime,out here in Sugar Plum Grove howlin at the moon.Come~~~Howl~~~AOUUUUUUUUUU~~~AOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~M~~~~~~~~~
~~ "The way to 'Heaven' is to bring it with you ..." -Mitchell
~~ "Sometimes, we gotta go through hell to get to 'Heaven'" -Mitchell
~~ "The way out is in" -Mitchell
~~ "A miracle speaks ...'I don't believe in Miracles.' " -Mitchell
~~ "Life is good, even when it isn't." -Mitchell
~~ "Sometimes you gotta lose to win." -Mitchell
~~ "It's easy when it's easy! Find reason, purpose and meaning when it's hard!" -Mitchell
~~ "If you're gonna think, think again!" -Mitchell
~~ "Make it so!" ...
~~ “When life do what it do, as it do-do, simply say ‘Of Course!’ (to soften life’s ‘blows’)” - Mitchell
~~ A master once said, "When embarking on the spiritual path, 'Oh Dear! There's no turning back! You've really done it now!' "
~~ “Not thoughts be your guide, rather, guide your thoughts.” -Mitchell
~~ "That which is within, and that energy entering this body/mind/spirit, causing harm and ill health, must and will be transformed into love healing energy and sent out in every direction" -Mitchell
~~ One morning ten years ago I awoke from a dream chanting over again and again, and writing this down so as not to forget ... "It doesn't matter who did what, there's nowhere else to go but up ..." -Mitchell
~~ "This life, our life, and what we do with it on this planet is “simply” a display, a reflection, of what is going on in our consciousness. The proof is in the puddin’. Look at our planet, what humans are doing to it, and with it, and to one another, and ask yourself ... ~ 'How’s this working for us/me?' ” -Mitchell
~~ "Step away from monkey mind, not tangle ... Observe ... Inhabit your higher self ..." -Mitchell
~~ "Anything is possible, but manythings you think are true, are not ... " -Mitchell
~~ "Grow where you are planted ..." -Mitchell
~~ "Change your future now ..." -Mitchell
~~ “Write your equation … 4 u r the sum of u … “ -Mitchell
~~ “We are largely a product of our environments … how’s your inner environment doing? …” -Mitchell

12/02/2009 06:31 PM  Top
TaraT
TaraT
 
Posts: 4164
VIP Member

We sure do appreciate you girl. *HUGS*
With Him we "live" no matter the circumstances. At His feet peace of mind can be found. Peace that passes all understanding is my quest now and forever.

Numbers 6:24-26
"The LORD bless you and keep you;the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."

Previous discussions I participated in:
Weird Symptoms
Hi. It's me again...
lyme tests

12/02/2009 07:15 PM  Top
happymom3
 
Posts: 427
Member

hang in there sweet girl-things will turn but sometimes have to muddle through. we are here anytime for you. love and hugs to you

12/02/2009 10:17 PM  Top
learning721
learning721
 
Posts: 369
Member

oh jaime!! I hope it gets a little brighter for you girl. You are such a strong person and I am praying GOd will finally give you that healing you need. He holds those tears Jaime Smile Tomarrow is a new day. And i bet that spaghetti was wonderful!! You put me in the mood for some! I know i already told you this, but please take some time for you. As soon as the kiddos are in bed take that warm bath. light some candles. and put that music on. BIG HUGS- and thanks for all the help you've given everyone!!
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