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08/14/2009 05:56 AM

Cognitive Thinking

PrincessK
PrincessKPosts: 853
Member

Hey everyone.

I have had it so hard this past month. Everything is wrong. I can not think. My congnitive skills has left the building. I have been over worked at work but yesterday, I (and my boss) found so many errors from my work. Nothing that cant be fix, but it defeat the purpose of having me her if she has to check behind me so much. I was so embarrassed. I went home so sad. I was the person who was very organized and detailed. Now it seems like there isn't a rhyme or reason to what I do . I find it hard to finish project because I keep checking and rechecking my work, just to find another error. I need to fix the problem because it looks bad. There are only 4 of us in my department so every and anything stands out. I know I am going through a lot with the treatments but why can't I get it together. I also don't see figures correctly. Sometimes my 3 look like 8. I transpose numbers all the time. My left eye is blury lately. Don't know why. I havent' been on plaqueinil for over 2 years. IDK!!! I need to get it together. I am getting so angry at myself. I can't spell and sometimes find it hard to read. I never want to read things anymore. This makes me over look a lot of information. AAAUUUGGGHHH

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08/14/2009 06:30 AM
KJC1385
KJC1385  
Posts: 1587
Senior Member

I'm sorry...I don't deal with this but I can imagine how frustrating it must be...And don't be embarrassed. I know easier said than done. Everyone makes mistakes to begin with anyway and you are going through a hell of a lot right now on top of everyday life. So don't beat yourself up over it. If your boss doesn't know whats going on and it keeps happening maybe you should tell him/her. If they are a decent person, they should be understand of your condition. If you feel better than no need. It's up to you. Whatever is better for your job Wink

Kelly


08/14/2009 06:56 AM
Lupie
Lupie  
Posts: 305
Member

PrincessK - I completely understand. I go through the cognitive stuff too. I actually had trouble remembering the word "pen" the other day. Pretty embarrasing when you are in front of clients! But, I find that people will be a bit more lenient should you let them know what's going on. I am sure you always have spell check on, but can you give drafts of stuff to another member of your team and ask them to proof it? Just say you are "looking for another set of eyes" and you want to "work more collaboratively" - that is what I do - I get some great feedback and someone else looking at my work before it goes to my boss or to my clients.

08/14/2009 09:04 AM
PrincessK
PrincessKPosts: 853
Member

Thanks guys

She knows I have health issues, but I try not to always talk about it or bring it up. Like I said, very small here, I don't want them to think I will be an issue. I will get if figured out I guess. I just need to figure out how.


08/14/2009 09:18 AM
KJC1385
KJC1385  
Posts: 1587
Senior Member

I don't blame you there...Especially at a small place. I worked at Curves before I worked for the Govt. and there was only me and this other girl that worked there. This was before lupus and just before I was even diagnosed with celiac. So I was always very sick and I was dealing with A LOT. My boss knew all of my problems and was even friends with my Mom but all she cared about was opening the place and not having the come in herself. Even when I called her from the hospital she would be pissed. I was sooo closed to being fired it wasn't even funny. Thats why I love having the security of this job now. Private companies have too much freedom to kick you to the curb!

08/14/2009 04:19 PM
mumeva
mumeva  
Posts: 6143
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

I can relate totally.....I had a phone call the other day from a client and she was in the process of explaining something to me and I just wasn't grasping what she was saying and she actually got angry with me so I said that I would have my husband call her back.....I started to cry because it wasn't that I was pretending or that I didn't want to know what she was saying I honestly didn't grasp it and its not always that way but when I get the migraines or the humming in my head or the seizures this is what happens and of course I wasn't going to explain myself to the client so I let my husband handle the situation but I know how you feel.....

Eva


08/14/2009 05:40 PM
redhairali
redhairali  
Posts: 3739
Group Leader

Try having strokes. The are times when I feel like a complete idiot. Especially when I have a hard time sleeping. I know it can be very frustrating, but you are not alone.

Alison


08/14/2009 06:24 PM
PrincessK
PrincessKPosts: 853
Member

oh ladies I'm sorry. It is fustrating. It makes me feels stupid. I was on ABC News tonight that lack of sleep affects your memory and I have been dealing with that too. I took my last Ambien last night. I did call in my refill, but can't get it until tomorrow. Looks like it is another Advil PM night...I guess I will take two. I need a vaca when I don't have to think about anything but staying covered from the sun.

08/15/2009 06:27 PM
heidiclouser
 
Posts: 1036
Member

My attention span is like an ant's....there is none.
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