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04/25/2012 02:57 AM

Stress......

Looopie
Posts: 2175
Senior Member

Wow, I have gone through 4 months of excessive stress and trauma taking care of a family member who was extremely sick and dying. Now that the hospitalisation episode is over, my brain is still traumatised. And to make it worse, I think I am going into a flare. Now I am so stressed out trying to catch up the work that I have missed whilst sitting everyday for the past 4 months in hospital.

I wonder if our lupie friends know how to control this mental trauma. I'm sitting here all wrapped up with PTSD and fight or fright attitude. I know juggling lupus with family, work, seminars and what nots.... is very tough, and my brain usually could cope. But this trauma, and this threat of death is so close in my private space.... I have alot to learn from my brave lupie friends how to handle all stressors. Marie Dizzy Blink Sad Sick

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04/25/2012 07:54 AM
LenaT14
LenaT14  
Posts: 440
Member

I was getting into some really emotionally heavy stuff recently and I decided that I would make an appointment with an awesome psychologist that we saw as a family in the past to help my son adjust to the new family dynamic. She can really sort through your emotions and help you navigate the stress. Best of luck!

04/25/2012 01:19 PM
redhairali
redhairali  
Posts: 3749
Group Leader

Sorry to hear you have been having a rough time lately You have been through a lot. Maybe you could just a couple of days off and try to let some of the stress, seeing someone would help as well. Hang in there.

Alison


04/25/2012 02:19 PM
Looopie
Posts: 2175
Senior Member

Hi Lena and thank you so much for your advice. I was hoping I would not have to pop some pills to deal with the trauma. Perhaps I should talk to my doctor about the problem and see if he could come up with some stress relieving solution.

Hi Alison and thank you for your support. Wow, it feels like I am riding on a roller coaster of stress and trauma in the past 4 months. I would love to take some time off, but my colleagues always say I don't look sick no matter how much I have flared. You are absolutely right, I should see a doctor about this issue. May be I should be more assertive and insist for some time off..

Thank you both again for your kind words. Marie


04/26/2012 01:41 AM
hawakeita
hawakeita  
Posts: 1913
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

Hello. This is just to let you know that there are treatments for PTSD and Trauma that do not entail taking medications. Lena is on to something when she recommends going to see someone like a therapist. So, don't think that by bringing it up to your doctor or to a psychotherapist that it means more medication. It depends on your situation, and all what's going on with you. Each person, around trauma and grief, is completely different. I'm wondering what services are available to you and your family through the hospital where your family member is at. I don't know what the illness is, nor the prognosis, but I believe that family support is provided especially as family and loved ones come close to death. I'm thinking of the hospice model. You may want to reach out there as well for the more family less Lupus related stuff. Either way, I am a strong proponent of time off. There may be some family leave that you can take, while you're going through this process with your family member, that you can use to take of yourself. You sound like a very strong dedicated person, and I wish the best for you and your family.

04/26/2012 02:57 AM
willywong
 
Posts: 91
Member

Hi looopie, Im so sorry for your loss. My first encounter with lupus started after similar circumatances, Inursed my mother at home until she died, even though Im a health proffesional nothing could have prepared me for that. Then a series of deaths close to me and other events over period ofa year just seemed to start the firstlupus flare up. Do talk to someone, get so;e counselling it really helps. My heart goes out to you. Take care.

04/27/2012 02:25 AM
Looopie
Posts: 2175
Senior Member

Hi hawakeita and thank you very much for your advice. The hospital offers support in terms of bereavement counselling, but so far they have given us a pamphlet that says "End-of life" and expect us to read it. I think the state where I live in is so short of funding, that there is no service to help family to cope. I guess the help available is only restricted to patients. I would love to take some family leave, but at home, I would be facing more stress from other family members who are going through the same trauma. I guess I have to rise where I have fallen and dust myself off as usual !!

Hi willywong and thank you for your kind words. I know what you mean when catastrophes escalate simultaneously until you feel you cannot cope anymore, but you must because there is no other options. I would like to ask advice from someone who is objective and an outsider to the trauma, but people, especially some medical people, just worship the economic bottom line and forsake the sick and dying.... I'll just see how I go. They say time will heal all wounds, but how come I still have lupus ?? Smile Have a good weekend. Marie.


04/29/2012 04:20 AM
hawakeita
hawakeita  
Posts: 1913
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

I'm sorry to hear about the lack of services to patient families in your state. Have you looked into Hospice? As far as I know, they do offer support to families? Or maybe you can just locate a grief therapist or something like that. Best of luck to you, you sure are a trooper.

And I get what you're saying about the stress being greater were you to stay home. I have a co-worker who was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I keep thinking that if I were in her shoes, there's no way I'd be at work. I'd be doing whatever I wanted for as long as I could. But for her, for normalcy, she'd much rather be at work, doing what she's done for so many years. She said staying home and thinking about it with her traumatized family just makes it worse. I'm amazed at her strength of character.

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