Friend's prognosis?

She was diagnosed a few years ago, and went into remission. She had a relapse a little more than 2 years after being declared in remission. She has been sick again for several months. She is 46, and gets the symptoms of aching joints regularly and has also had bleeding in her kidneys that has been difficult to control.

Recently, it was deteremined that she was not responding to chemo once a week, so they upped her to twice a week. I do not know which drugs they are using, but I know she gets to feeling so badly that once in a while she will skip an appointment as she is still trying to lead a normal life and not let her kids know she is sick again.

How long do they typically try twice a week before they determine whether or not that is helping at all? If it isn't, then what? Her daughter is a great kid, and I hate that she doesn't know it is possible she could lose her mother by the end of the year so she knows to cherish each moment. But all that I can find to read tells me she is probably not going to get better this time.

Thanks to anyone who can provide more info. I would like to know if I should try to talk her into fessing up to her daughter before it is too late for them to plan some good memories.

I know that if Taylor had not been sick that yes I would have spent time with her, but I probably would have only spent half the amount of time with her. Sometimes you just get caught up in your own life that you don't stop to spend time with your family.

Talk to her about her family tell her to think about them. If she does not tell them what is going on and she dies in a month, then her family is probably going to have regrets. If she is not going to tell them then she needs to spend as much time with them as she can.

I agree that them knowing will make a difference as far as the time they spend together. Her daughter is a socially active teenager, so she doesn't spend much time at home. I am sure if her mother passed suddenly, she may resent her mother for leaving her behind to feel guilty about not spending more time at home.

Still, what are the chances this is an unnecessary worry, and that she will respond to the stronger drug and get better?

I thought Taylor would beat it with all my heart, but I still spend time with her and I am glad I did. If they know she is sick and they spend time with her, yes they will be very worried and emotional, but if she dies they will not have any regrets. If she lives, they will still have those memories. No they won't all be good ones, but no one will be able to ever take the good ones away.

She may not realize it now, but she is going to need their support. Hiding it is only going to make her more stressed thus making it harder for her to fight it. It will eventually come out. It would be better for her to hear it from her mother then someone else. Hair loss is something that she is not going to be able to hide.

You know these people, I don't so you are going to have to think of what you think is best for them. I am only telling you what I think.

I hope it doesn't sound mean, but I hope she does start losing her hair for her children's sake. Then I won't have to make a decision whether to try to influence her or not.

I don't know all of the stats on adult AML so I don't know what her chances are. I do know what AML can do to someone. I don't think saying that you hope her hair falls out is mean. She is going to have to face this.

My uncle (Taylor's dad) tried to ignore what was going on with Taylor. In the first month or so she looked just like she always did. But when she began to lose her hair I really think it changed him. It was like, this is really happening. I think he was more emotional then, then he was the day we found out she was sick. It is just one of those outwards signs that she really was sick.

shes got to let her kids know. if she dies how will they remember her? the wonderfull mother who didn't let them know she was dieing? or the wonderfull mother who was open and honest strait to the end? which would you like her kids to think of as their role model? and they will think on it, one way or another. when they grow older and have to make difficult decisions on their own, they will think back upon what their dear mother chose, weather she is still alive or not.

lastly, i think it is important to never be afraid. weather it is telling your children you may not see them to college or going to every single chemo session, i think you need to be brave and strong and do the very best for everyone around you. i know she will feel rotten. her legs will be lead and her bones sensitive as liquid. she will not be able to walk, bend, or even stand up after a fall without consiterable pain. she will take naps frequently and never feel awake. her sences will be dulled and her brain a huge mushy mess. but shes got to keep up the chemo. its her only chance. if she loves her family, she should go if only for them.

please, please get her to tell them. stress the importance of chemo. make her face reality. she will and can die without the treatements! as i friend this is hard; maybe try explaining things to her husband? hes sure to be thinking along the same lines anyhow, and i'm sure hes scared crazy for her.

give them all my best and i'll be praying for her.

Also, she does not have anyone but her kids. No husband to help her through this, nor any other family. That is why I think this (probably last) summer with her kids is important that they know to make it what they want it to be so they don't have regrets and guilt after she is gone.

My Grandfather had a lengthy deterioration, and though it was difficult to know he was suffering and knew he was dying, it did give us all time to make sure we saw him more often and let him know how much we love him and whatever else we needed to say to him or do for him to make his parting easier on us, and time to get used to the idea that we would have to go on without him soon. As hard as it was to lose him anyway, I know it would have been so much worse if it was sudden and unexpected and we didnt have time to say goodbye and whatever else we needed. I know I would have been hurt and angry if he didn't tell us because he didn't want us worrying and give us the time for this.