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05/12/2011 06:47 PM

Hello. Its nice to meet you...

southpaw66
 
Posts: 29
New Member

Im so happy to have finally found people like me!

I have a subcoronal hypospadias. Throughout my life it has made me feel different, inferior, and self conscious. As a young child my mother told me I was "special". That was little consolation when I would be away at summer camp.and the other kids in the community shower would make fun of me. I was also prone to urinary tract infections. Mom made me wash myself with a washcloth every time I went to pee, even while in school. Of course this lasted until the first time I was spotted. Our toilets had no doors, and the UTIs continued. To this day I can't figure out why my folks never did anything about it when I was young. Summer camp was even more fun. The shower house was one big room with a dozen shower heads coming out of the walls. Again there was no privacy. The camp was mostly rich kids from New York, and so everybody was circumcised. That is except the kids from canada and the british counselors. They got called all sorts of names. Then their scrutiny and ridicule was turned to me. Its hard to believe kids could be so mean. I avoided the shower house at all costs. I was called a dirty kid, actually being forced to shower by the counselors. Only the nurse understood. Also I developed a bad case of pee-shyness that lasts to this day. As I reached my teens I pretty much stayed clear of situations where I might be seen. I wore my bathing suit under my pants on swim days at school and that worked some of the time. I steered clear of girls when in high school and people thought I was interested in men. I met my future wife when I was 19 and she loved me in spite of my little deformity. I thanked God and pushed it to the back of my mind. Oh it reared its misshapen little head occasionally. Twice I was hospitalized for acute prostatitis. Both times I was asked why I never underwent corrective surgery by the doctors. Of course I had no answer. Was it too late? Oh well, I guess it is. On with my life. Time went on, my doctor told me I was probably not going to be able to have children. I was crushed. 2 beautiful children later, I am happy to report the doctor was wrong! I managed to live a normal life for the most part. The other parts not so normal, or happy for that matter. We have been married for 23 years. Intimacy has been marginal at best. I can perform but it can be painful. Sometimes I bleed. Ive refrained from intimacy for.long stretches of time because it seemed like sex wasn't worth the discomfort, opting instead for "manual methods" fear this has cost me my marriage. I never did tell her how i felt. After all we'd been through, it sounded like bullshit. We filed for separation but still live together due to economic reasons. Anyway, recently I had to see the urologist on orders from my doctor. He was a new one. First thing he said after examining my penis was "why didn't you have this corrected?" All I could say was that I didn't know I could this late in the game. He said I would need to see a pediatric urologist but it could be done. Well now what do I do?!

Sorry im all over the place with my thoughts. Im so excited to find a place where there are other people like me.

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05/23/2011 03:09 PM
southpaw66
 
Posts: 29
New Member

Right now im sitting in the waiting room of my urologist for a follow up visit. Im going to ask for a referral to a pediatric urologist for reconstructive surgery. Just a couple of questions to satisfy my curiosity can't hurt. Right? I hope I don't open a can of worms.

06/16/2011 06:42 AM
rediscoveringme
rediscoveringme  
Posts: 663
Senior Member

Nope can't hurt. Why not? Good luck!

06/30/2011 05:45 PM
southpaw66
 
Posts: 29
New Member

Hey Everybody! I'm so happy because i took the first step today. I finally made an appointment to see a urological surgeon for my hypospadias. I'm excited and a little bit (maybe alot) nervous about the whole thing. Anyway, come August 2nd I will either be taking the next step of scheduling the corrective surgery, or putting the matter to bed once and for all. I can't wait!

Demetri


07/18/2011 09:26 AM
rediscoveringme
rediscoveringme  
Posts: 663
Senior Member

Well whatever you choose the important thing is that you have made an effort to reassure yourself and give yourself piece of mind. The ultimate thing is that you are happy and are able to live a functioning life that you are okay with living. We all support you and hope that things go terrific no matter the choice you makeWink
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