HPV Support Group

i am a 23 year old male.. a few years ago i seen that i had some bumps, i went see my physician and he told me it was genital warts and kinda said it was no big deal..he froze some off and sent me home..it seems to me he doesnt know too too much about it cause all he said was wear a condom and it wont be passed on, and he wanted me to follow up with a dermatologist..and so i did, i was prescribed aldera...i used one round of it and the warts slowly started to disappear..so new ones have developed and so i did another round of aldera, and they are starting to go away...my main issue is...i been kinda forcing my self to not really meet any girls and just stay single, because i know sex will come down the road...its not what i want to do, its just i dont want her to know about what i have and i dont want to pass it on to them...and well recently i met someone that i really like and i dont know what to do...i dont wanna tell her about it cause everyone knows everyone in my town and well this cant get around to anyone else...her and i are starting to mess around and i dont want to start making excuses on why we cant mess around any further...im feel like my confidence is really low because of hpv..will my body ever get rid of hpv? someone please help me!!

Post edited by: cougarhunter, at: 11/12/2010 09:44 AM

Hey cougarhunter, welcome to the group.

I agree with you that it sounds like your doc doesn't know much about the virus. Condoms do not protect against HPV because it is passed through skin to skin contact, and more than just the area covered by a condom touches.

That said, I have a great deal of respect for your decision to refrain from sexual contact while dealing with this condition. I also appreciate your desire to keep this medical issue private. My suggestion to you is to take things slow with your new lady. Spend time with her enjoying other activities until you've developed and trust between you, then share the news with her, being sure to express just how personal and upsetting it is for you.

Hopefully, whether her reaction is more positive or negative, she will appreciate your honesty and concern for her health, and respect your privacy and refrain from sharing the information with others.

It's helpful, too, to have information available. The facts can often ease some of the negative thoughts. This is an extremely common virus, affecting as many as 85% of sexually active people at some point in their life. And it goes away!

Stay positive, and try not to let it shake your confidence too much. You've made an extremely honorable decision that is considerate of others and their health. Any woman should be pleased to have found such a good man.

Elle

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Post edited by: Indubitably, at: 11/12/2010 10:13 AM

My biggest issue is, how do I know when the virus is gone?? I been having this for atleast two years...can this be passed through oral sex too?

There is currently no test for men, so there is no way to know for sure when/if you have cleared the virus. I know that's not easy to take, but my best recommendation is to talk to your doctor about it. There may be a specific time frame they use of "no warts for x amount of months and the virus is considered to have passed."

As for the question about transmission through oral sex, yes. Because HPV is passed through skin to skin contact, it can be transmitted through all types of sex (vaginal, anal, oral, any other wild variation you may or may not practice), and genital warts can cause an oral HPV infection as well. I don't know that there would be an issue with you performing oral sex on an uninfected woman, but there is a definite risk for you transmitting though oral sex performed on you.

Elle

Can it be passed by her touching my genitals?

Yes. It's not just genital-to-genital touching, but hand-to-genital touching as well. Genital warts are highly infectious, especially when experiencing an outbreak.

Find a new doctor who knows what s/he is talking about. I don't have personal experience with the low-risk type of HPV, but a doctor with five minutes and some clue can give a solid idea of what you're dealing with and what to expect.

Elle

I know this is an old topic but I wanted to add two things. One, my understanding is that you cannot transfer warts by touching with a hand, unless that same hand quickly touches her own genitals. My point is - the type of warts on genitals cannot infect the skin on your hand - its a different strain of HPV that causes that kind of wart. You can transmit it orally, but its rare and even more rare for it to cause any serious effect like wart outbreaks or cancer later down the line. Still a good idea to talk to your partner about it so they at least understand the risk for sure. I really comend you on caring about this - I am sure there are lots of people out there who do not warn their partner, or do not even think to because dr's make it seem like its no big deal.

I was wondering how things have gone for you, cougarhunter? I feel a lot like you do and have yet to take the plunge into dating/telling anyone. I just got out of a very long relationship so its not JUST HPV stopping me - i kind of want to be single a while, but I know one day I will have to tell someone and it makes me anxious, even though most people are exposed to HPV in their lives. Its good to hear I am not the only one. So, any recommendations? Thanks!