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03/22/2012 10:42 AM

Upset, Scared, Husband just tested HIV positive

ScaredWife
Posts: 2
New Member

I'm really scared, upset and confused. A couple of years ago, we were at a BBQ and a guy, we didn't know very well, punched a window cutting his wrist and arm very badly. While my husband was trying to help stop the bleeding, the guy clenched his fist causing a direct, solid stream of blood go shooting directly into my husband's eye. A couple months later that same guy said he had Hep C and for my husband to get tested. Fortunately, he tested neg for that but just a month ago he learned that he has HIV. It was Valentine's day 2012, that our life changed forever. I am negative. How can this be? Nobody to talk to, nobody who understands, and scared. I love my husband more anything and will stand by his side forever but I could really use someone to talk to. I'm scared...and really upset that this can be happening---all becuase of trying to be a nice person.
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03/23/2012 01:48 PM
Nika8
Nika8  
Posts: 1394
Group Leader

Hi.

This sounds like a really crazy situation. Very much bad luck for him to get it that way.

I'm sorry for you guys.

Well basically, HIV does not transmit as easily as many people think. I don't remember the exact percentage right now, but there's under 1% risk of you getting HIV from him during an unprotected intercourse, or thereabout.

That risk is very low compared to what people think and this is why it is not uncommon for one partner to be HIV negative and the to be HIV positive.

Another thing you need to be aware of is that it takes a while for HIV to become visible in blood tests- they test for antibodies and these antibodies must develop first. You can count pretty much on results taken 3 months after you have been exposed to the risk. Often antibodies show earlier than three months. But it is not completely unusual that it actually takes up to 6 months before an HIV test in positive. In some, very rare cases, it takes up to a year (but that's very very rare!).

So basically, a person can be HIV positive, but still have a negative test, if the test is taken 'too early'.

So if you've had unprotected sex with him recently, you must be aware you need to wait a while and then get tested again to be sure of the result.

However, your risk is very very low still.

I can understand you're scared and worried. It is a massive shock. But one thing I can tell you is that there's hope. The medication today works excellently and he will be able to live a long and healthy life.

I was infected with HIV in 2005. I started on medication in early 2009 as my white blood cell count had become low at that point. I was nauseous for a while after starting meds, but that's long gone. I am perfectly fit and healthy. I lead a normal life and am have normal sex life. I'm not ill in any way. The medication has made sure of that. Main difference really between me and a person who is HIV negative, is that I use condom with my husband, I take 3 pills once a day and I go to hospital for blood tests every third month.

Pretty much a normal life - with no illness.

I know it's tough right now. But trust me, you will get through this. You won't lose him just like that. HIV and diabetes have the same life expectancies today. Your husband has every chance of living a long healthy life and becoming an old man


03/23/2012 02:02 PM
ScaredWife
Posts: 2
New Member

Nika, thank you so much for responding. It's nice to actually be able to talk about it with someone. Your words are very encouraging and hopeful. I appreciate that. I think right now, I'm still in shell shock about the whole thing. Very emotionally drained and all I want to do is get a good crying in and sleep for an entire day. I can't stay focused at all. Thank you again.

03/23/2012 02:44 PM
Nika8
Nika8  
Posts: 1394
Group Leader

I understand. It is tough. I know. But it will get better. The first few weeks are the hardest part.

04/22/2012 01:26 AM
Asparkelton
Posts: 3
New Member

I'm sorry to hear that. Good news is that a cure is within reach. I have followed HIV research with great attention over the last decade and advances in medicine and technology has lead to new discoveries that was deemed as unrealistic only a few years ago. and I am confident that they will find a cure within 15-20 years (maximum). HIV can break families apart, throw people into despair and depression. It is important to carry on with life and live it to the fullest. When we're alone it's hard, but with people that love us we can unite, and this is what gives us strengt. There is very little more to say, but know that you are not alone. Millions have contracted this virus and it continues to spread throughout the world. Luckily there are strong retroviral medications available on the market that can help your husband live for at least 25-30 more years.

I wish you the best of luck.

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