liveforthis02162
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Where to begin, I don't even know. All I know is that being so incredibly close to a heroin addict, has been the hardest experience of my life. My name is Sarah, I'm 18 and my boyfriend is a heroin addict. When I met him I knew nothing about the drug, and I knew nothing about addiction. When I met him, he was a recovering addict, and had been clean for about 4 months. I know now that at that stage he should not have been looking for a girlfriend, but figuring his life out. Instead we found eachother and he has made me so incredibly happy. So much so that when he began using again, I was blind to it. But thats the incredible thing about addiction isn't it? It is so cunning and swift, and when it takes over someone you love they become the best liars in the world. I did not find out about the extent of his addiction until about three weeks ago. I had been suspicious since mothers day about him shooting up, but it was not until the last week of may that I finally caught him completely. Since then we tried to slowly ween him from it. Now I look back and realize how stupid of an idea it was. It had become out of our hands, but it took a real shock to bring the gravity of the situation down on us. In actuality, it was not until yesterday that I found out it was heroin, I thought he had only been doing oxycontin, but the truth is its been heroin the whole time, with occasional oxy use. On monday we were arrested for possession. I have never used at all. Him, a friend, and I were the three in the car. The friend was driving. Considering my boyfriend and I were attempting to get him off the stuff in our own, obviously, not working way, I was holding on to 4 bags, to keep so that i could give them to him as needed, not as desired. He was caught with 2 on him, and the driver with another 2. The officers believed my boyfriend when he told them it was all his, and somehow realized i was not in the same category as them. When they asked what my dad did and i told them he too was a cop. they gave me two options- go to jail or call my dad and be cleared of all charges and not even be arrested. I chose to call my dad. Since then my boyfriend after spending the night in jail is back at home at his mothers( he had not been living there prior to this) he has been in and out of the hospital and today he started at an out patient clinic. Addiction is a powerful, powerful thing. And while it is so incredibly hard for the users, it is just so hard for us standing beside them. So I guess I am here, because I don't know where to go from here. How to react to him. How I need to take care of myself. And how to support him without being a crutch. I look forward to getting to know you all  |
