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11/10/2009 03:20 PM

Whether to have my heroin addict nephew arrested

Denisee
Posts: 2
New Member

Hello everyone! I'm new here. Trying to be supportive to my nephew's mom and sister. His mom has spent ever so much money to keep him out of jail and is now faced with a delimma: he has robbed his mom twice ($1,000 from her office and now $10,000 worth of jewelry from her house. She located the jewelry at a local pawn shop under his name. To get it back, she has to have an affidavit from her son OR file a police report which they say will send him to jail. I think his getting arrested is our only hope. We've all been on standby to get him into long term rehab but he's not willing to go yet). Up until now, he has been cut waaaaay too much slack...he's been enabled. But we're worried about the repercussions/damage to her relationship with her son. Should she turn matters over to the police or give him the chance to make it right with a time deadline first? Please give your advice/opinion as soon as possible. With gratitude to all of you...Denisee
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11/10/2009 04:10 PM
sadmom99
sadmom99  
Posts: 331
Member
I'm an Advocate

You didn't mention how old your nephew is but I'm guessing he is over 18 if he was able to sell jewelry to a pawn shop.

Anyway, our daughter is almost 23 and honestly I would welcome a call from the police saying she had been arrested. We haven't heard from her in over three months and haven't seen her since June. Needless to say we are worried sick. We called the police to see what help they could provide and they said we could file a missing persons report BUT they couldn't pick her up if she wasn't doing anything illegal. Our daughter we have heard stole electronics from a friend and pawned them but we haven't heard if this person filed charges or not.

Frustration is such a little word on how we feel...since she is over 18 basically until she is found dead or magically decides she is ready to get help - our hands are tied.

Long story short if it was my nephew or even my son/daughter - YES I would have him/her arrested if for any reason just to know they are alive and safe even if its in a cell.

I wish you and your family luck; its a hard decision but if he feels his family will give him one more chance what's to stop him from stealing from someone else and God forbid that person has a gun?

take care


11/12/2009 07:22 PM
Quimby
QuimbyPosts: 11
Member

Hi Denisee,

I feel sorry for any family going through this it is very hard times and difficult times. I was so thankful and felt my prayers had been answered the night my son was arrested. The best thing that could have happened to him. Your nephew is not in his right mind because he is using, he needs time to get cleaned. Being in jail will give him at least sometime clean, he will be off the streets and you know he is alive! I left my son in jail for about 14 days until he was detoxed and off the drugs enough to see a little bit of my son back, not the addict. It would force him to get help. I enabled my son for years, getting arrested was the best thing for him he is in the court system now and has to answer to them for the next two years.

If it was me I would file the charges and have him picked up.

Take Care and Good Luck,

Marola


11/15/2009 10:01 PM
b333541
b333541  
Posts: 349
Member

I the mom of a heroin addict. Not new and same story, different day. Have no idea where my son is. I know he lives in State. Not hearing from him is worse than hearing from him when he wanted something ($$) from me. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. My son is 24 and this is killing me. I don't know what it's doing to him. Having a really bad night.

Toni


11/18/2009 07:41 PM
b333541
b333541  
Posts: 349
Member

Okay. I now heard from my son. He was arrested on Monday.......three charges, stealing & possession with his syringe/needles. Boat load. His bail is high (for me) and I can't pay it and his dad wants nothing to do with him. Outside of the fact that his father claims to know some "mean hombres" in the jail he is in or prison he probably will go to and what is going to happen to him (rape and worse) I am breathing a little cause I heard my son's voice again. My son phoned me and told me when his court is - Tomorrow. I guess to say the formal charges & set bail. He, also, told me if he got out he'd use again and again. He didn't use needles before. Now, he's shooting in his neck. How do you shoot in your neck if you can't see a vein? I know he can't O/D in jail and that is my only hope of him having a chance to get clean. He's in the jails detoxing from heroin (hell) right now. I just keep reminding myself He (and this) is all in God's hands. Thanks for listening. Inside I am dying for him.

Toni


11/19/2009 07:45 PM
Quimby
QuimbyPosts: 11
Member

Hi Toni,

So sorry for what you are going through it is hard the hardest thing I have lived with also. My son is Brandon he check's in here sometime. I would pray for my son everyday, when he got arrested I felt my prayers were answered he was arressted. This may not have been the way I would have wanted it but for him to start getting his life turned around this was the only way. I thank God everyday for answering my prayers and that my son is still alive. I left him in jail for I believe 14 days and he begged me to get him out I knew if I got him out he would use even though he was telling me that he was done he won't use, well I knew better. Sure enough When I bailed him out he started using! Putting up with this again in my home was horriable was the worst time of my life. I ended up kicking him out of my house one night when I found the heroin and needles I had had it with all the nodding off just couln't do it anymore. I never thought I would kick my son out of his home. He went and checked himself into the city detox and from there forced by the courts to go to treatment. I knew he was safe and could breath easy again. He was clean I think for about six months and relapsed. It has started all over again. He pawns everything I go get it out it is a horriable life. As with your son father is not in the picture doesn't want anything to do with him. He had two bad UA's with the courts so I'm thinking they are going to make him start treatment all over again. He has been clean for a couple of weeks so just waiting to see what they are going to do to him. He goes back to court first part of Dec. Last Christmas in was in treatment really hard Christmas, but a blessing also he was clean for 6 months. I have faith that he will get through this I will never give up on him. I know he can get through this. I do believe my prayers were answered when he was arrested it has been a true blessing.

Thanks for listening,

Marola


11/19/2009 10:00 PM
b333541
b333541  
Posts: 349
Member

My son was supposed to be arraigned today, but was postponed till tomorrow. I seriously doubt they are going to let him out. He's still detoxing (big time). One thing for sure. HE KNOWS he can't live here. Have no idea where'd he live, but it won't be here. I can't afford to have him steal anything and that's all he does -- lie and steal. No thanks. I am praying he gets into some kind of drug recovery unit in jail or drug court - something that makes him deal with his addiction. If he got out now, he'd pick up a needle right away and be back in. I just get sick thinking of him getting hurt (and there's lots of ways to get hurt) in jail. I continue to pray and my prayer is always the same; help him get clean and STAY clean and get his life together. I believe it will happen one day. Just know that that one day isn't here yet.

I am not looking forward to seeing him in the state he's in. Getting arrested saved his life and answered my prayers.

Thanks for replying. I am just going to try to take it all one day at a time and pray to God he gets to go to Drug Court rather than General Population. God willing he hates jail so much (I know he's gonna be in there a lot longer than 14 days) he won't ever want to go back. He did the short term jail time before. He wasn't

charged with anything. He started using as soon as he got out.

Heroin is hell (on it or trying to get off it). Getting & staying clean for a long time is an outright miracle. It also kills everybody in your life who cares about you; especially a mother

Thanks again.

Toni


11/20/2009 01:26 AM
sobriety1234
Posts: 9
New Member

Hi,

My brother attended a place that advocated for alternative sentencing for addicts and alcoholics in NC. We were all the way in Indiana and the Clinical Director of this facility is also an interventionist. I GET GOOSE BUMPS TELLING THIS OVER AGAIN. After mom paid 5000.00 for a paid attorney, this rehab man came all the way here, of course we had to pay him and his flight, and negotiated wth the prosecutor after Chad was only in jail for 1 week. The atty went and tried to get a bond reduction......DENIED>>>> then the director of this place in NC flew out here after endless calls to states atty, etc, got in front of a judge and my brother was on NC the very next night by 12 midnight...!!!!!!Whew weee.......This man is awesome, I think his name is Cly W, I REMEMBER HE SHARED one thing that really was, well everything he shared was impressive, but he has been to court 150 x in 4 years and only 1 case has gone other than the way they wanted it to go. HE WAS MY MOMS ANGEL SHE DESCRBES HIM AS....She and dad were in the same boat you are in....I just found the number we had for him, Im not sure its still the one, but maam, I swear if this doesnt give you a ooo ahhh moment, I dont know what wlll, in additiion Chad was able to take suboxone there as well , its for opiate ( pain pills and heroin addicton, and to our knowledge thats the only recovery house type setting where they work a job, after 3o days, they get free medical, transportation to and from al activiites....and its plush......I remember picking chad up, its like a HUGE house on 3 acres at least in the country near Albemarle NC...

I spoke with a few of my brothers new recovery buddies andthey all are soooo close, good news is Chads been clean for 9 months and he had to go back to court because they let my bro out in that mans facility, unsecured the bond to him....WELLL watch GOD, he had 8 felonies, and just got 5 dropped, and 4 yrs probation and was facing 8 -10 yrs!!!!Remember our own atty couldnt get him out, but after that man from NC came it was like God sent him into our life.

It wasnt a cheap financial trip overalll, BUT my mom said if she couldve spent her 401k any other way she would have chosen life for my little bro!!!

HES ALIVE....HES HEALTHY, HE GOES TO NA/AA NIGHTLY, GOES OUT TO COFFEE ETC

chek out www.suboxone.com online, and here is that mans number, I dont wanna disclose names for his anonimity....but I swear, this seems a re run of my families story...I just couldnt not give you this info....THEY ARE LWAYS ALMOST FULL, so i woldnt wait around to call em.. yeah! i found some papers in chads books with a nmber and just caled oit and its right!!!!

here ya go 1-888-553-6444 its extension 1 or zero!

good luck.

let sus know how it goes if ya call

any other families that have a person like this, man im only 22 and im clean 1 year and thinkin bout becomin a couselor.....ALL OF THE JUNKIES IN TROUBLE....I SWEAR GIVE THIS PLC A CALL...IT WAS OUR SAVING GRACE!

PEACE OUT


11/20/2009 09:32 AM
b333541
b333541  
Posts: 349
Member

Hey, thanks. Big problem for me. I have NO MONEY and his dad said he's not dropping another dime on our son (he's my ex). He said he hoped our son got a long prison sentence and got raped in jauk. Nice dad, eh? Anyway, thanks for your info. I can't afford anything, but glad your bro is clean.

Be well

T


11/20/2009 09:38 AM
b333541
b333541  
Posts: 349
Member

sobriety1234

One thing I learned using isn't cheap and getting clean isn't either. Somebody must be able to get clean if they're broke. Wish I could get that guy, but I can't and his a.h. dad has no desire to help him. Nothing more to do. Whatever happens is in in God's hands. I will see him today and tomorrow night (visit). Nothing else I can do. Just wanted to know what it's REALLY like INSIDE!

Thanks for answering so quick. Really glad you and your bro are clean. I pray to God you both stay that way and have great lives.

Be well

Toni

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