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02/23/2012 11:38 AM

not sure what to do ..

memory90
memory90Posts: 2
New Member

hi. I am 21 years old and I have been struggling with heroin addiction for around 7 months. I am at rock bottom and I do not know what to do. Let me start out by telling you about my life 7 months ago. I was clean and healthy, I had a

very good job where I was making a good amount of money and that I actually enjoyed and I was doing normal things like hanging out with friends and actually going places. It all started when my best guy friend got a steady connection. Him, my other friend, my boyfriend and I would hang out a couple times a week and get high. Then it became an every night thing, and soon it was to the point where my friend and I were having stuff dropped off to us at work if we had to. After a while I started noticing the withdrawals and at that point I was still in denial. I began to become very depressed and lazy without it. 2 months ago I quit my job of 3 years. It was an irrational decision and here I am today. The past 2 months I have had problems finding work, instead I sit home all day and sleep and wait for my boyfriend to get home just to get high and sit around. My friend crashed my car leaving me without wheels. I lost all my friends, the only people I have are also addicts. My family knows about my problem and I have asked for help getting insurance to go to rehab, but nobody has tried to help me. I feel like I have no purpose in life. Does it get better ? I know my old friends will never forgive me. My boyfriend is no help because he is also an addict, yet he is the only person I have now and I don't want to lose him. I just do not know what to do anymore. Sometimes I just feel like I would rather be dead. I wish I could just go away and start a new life somewhere, but with no money and noone to help me, I feel like a lost cause.

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02/24/2012 09:15 PM
crawlingbacktostart
crawlingbacktostart  
Posts: 1101
Senior Member

It does get better.

I was an internasal user for about 2 years and then an intraveinous heroin user for about a year. Money was and still is an issue for me.

What's worked for me,a real desire to stop using since it took up to 2 hours for me to find a vein sometimes and the methadone clinic, after a while though, you're just stuck on that, use methadone or suboxone/subutex as a nice buffer to bring yourself down from the heroin. Keep your dosage of methadone as low as you possibly can, and stay on it as short as you can, methadone withdrawal isn't pleasant, but on lower dosages for short period of time, it's nowhere near as bad as smack withdrawal.

As far as leading a sober life, what you do is up to you, if NA is what it takes to get through the day than do it. I'm not a tweleve steper,the only step I deam to have any value is step 8, making amends. Eat right,Sleep right,Excercise, and keep looking ahead. I've never had a problem put before me that was worse than the old solution I used to find for it.


01/04/2014 12:56 PM
memory90
memory90Posts: 2
New Member

Thank you. I have not been on this site for a long time and a lot has changed. After 2 rehab stints and 3 months in jail I finally have some clean time though I have been thinking about using quite often lately. Just trying to be strong.

01/05/2014 02:24 PM
brokenheartagain
 
Posts: 721
Group Leader

Memory,

I'm so glad to hear you have some clean time. What are you doing to stay sober? Do you go to meetings, have a sponsor, go to counseling, group or individual? My son used to tell me if he put forth even a small percentage into staying sober as he did in getting high, he would be clean. You have to make the effort every day, sometimes many times a day to stay clean. It's not the same for everyone but what seems to be constant is the desire for sobriety, staying away from places and people you used to get high with and finding healthy outlets like exercise or some other hobby that occupies your free time that you enjoy and that makes you feel better. It isn't easy but it is possible. Best of luck to you. Please keep posting and let us know how you're doing.

Sending you hugs and prayers,

Alecia

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