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05/23/2011 02:11 PM

Unique problem

tiff0089
tiff0089Posts: 220
Member

Hi there! I am an almost 27-year old female and I have a unique problem in regards to sex. I achieve an orgasm way too fast. I never used to have this problem, but since I have been with my new boyfriend I have a terrible time with endurance. I can only have one orgasm at a time, unlike some women, and after I orgasm, it hurts if he continues to have sex with me. When I was a teenager and in my early twenties, I never had this problem. Could it be because before my current boyfriend, I had gone over two years without having sex? Why does it hurt if he continues to have sex with me after I orgasm? What can I do to delay my orgasm?
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05/23/2011 02:56 PM
HiddenButterfly
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Id there something different about the way you all go about having sex? Have you always only been able to have one orgasm? If so, has it always hurt if you continue?

I might suggest that you talk to your Gyn and see if there is something that could be physically causing you to have pain after an orgasm. It could be that htere is a physiological reason for this. In the meantime, have you tried stopping things before you get to the point of orgasm for a minute or so to allow yourself to cool off then try going again? That can sometiems work to give a longer experience.

Brenda


05/24/2011 08:14 AM
tiff0089
tiff0089Posts: 220
Member

Whenever I've been to the gyn my doc always says everything looks fine. I would think that if something was really wrong with me it would show up in an exam? I've never had an std or anything either.

I've usually only been able to have one orgasm at a time. I mean, if I have sex again a few hours later I can, but not immediately. It has always kind of hurt afterwards, but never this bad.

I don't think there's anything really different about the way we have sex versus how I have had sex with other men. Emotionally, maybe. I think this is the first time I've really been in love and/or not afraid of the person I'm with.


05/24/2011 08:38 AM
HiddenButterfly
HiddenButterfly  
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Have you had abusive relationships in the past? That could be part of the problem.

A routine gyn exam may not detect certian things as it is not intended to find them. Even if they were looking ofr something during a routine exam, with out doing an ultrasound or other labs, as there is only a limited amount to what they can see with the naked eye or feel. internal cysts are not usually caught during the routine exams and can cause differing levels of pain. interstitial cystitis is another one that can be missed on a routine exam. You might want to bring up the fact that there is a moderate amount of pain after an orgasm.

Brenda


05/26/2011 06:45 PM
tiff0089
tiff0089Posts: 220
Member

Yes, I have had several abusive relationships in the past. I was also repeatedly sexually assaulted by a family member for basically my entire childhood. But I have had a lot of therapy in the past and I do not really think about it too often anymore.

Ok. I will have them check the next time I go. Do you think it sounds like something serious? Because other than the discomfort during sex, I do not have any other pain. My energy levels are normal. I work out four or five times a week and I'm on the pill and have regular periods. I feel otherwise healthy.

I did try something that seemed to delay the orgasms. I pleasured myself before visiting with him so I was not as sensitive and that seemed to help. I was able to last a lot longer and there was not much pain this time. Is there such a thing as being over sensitive sexually to the point that it could hurt?

Thank you for talking to me about this! It's a sensitive subject not many people are willing to discuss. Thanks so much!


05/26/2011 07:43 PM
HiddenButterfly
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There is a psychological issue there. With me, it stems from the abuse and orgasms being when he would switch to sodomizing me, saying I wanted it. It has taken a lot of work to even be able to orgasm, but I still cannot go on past that point. If hubby brings me to orgasm during the forpaly, thne I can continue in a minute or so, but if i do during sex, that is the end of things for me. It is severely painful and I start locking my legs and everything. But it is a psycholigical thing. I also have issue physically that cause some pain during intercourse. I can block the pain out, but that means that I am not fully relaxed as i am putting a lot of energy into not showing or feeling pain.

female hpysical issues will not generally interfer with regular functioning. They can make peeing difficult, in that one has to stop and staert several times to empty the bladder, or that htere is pain with urination and such. Cramping during certian points of the cycle are about the only real symptoms besides trouble during sex.

Brenda


05/28/2011 10:20 AM
tiff0089
tiff0089Posts: 220
Member

So basically it could be either physical or psychological and the only way for me to know for sure is to see a doctor. I feel silly going back since I just went to the gyn less than two weeks ago. And I'll be honest- I feel silly going to the doctor for this problem, especially since I am not having sex for reproductive purposes. I still feel like people judge me for having sex when I am not trying to get pregnant. How do I feel more comfortable talking to my doc about this?

05/28/2011 01:31 PM
HiddenButterfly
HiddenButterfly  
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It is never easy. Have you ever really talked to anyone about what happened? That is the first step, talking to trusted others and seeing that they are not goign to look at you differently. You also need to realize that sex is a beautiful thing, when two people that truely care about one another are together. It will be a natural course in the relationship. Most couples have sex for pleasure. IT was designed to be pleasuarable, so why not enjoy that with someone that cares for you as much as you do them. It ultimately boils down to just getting the courage to speak your mind to the doc. A lot of gyns will ask about a history of abuse on thier intake forms.It does play a significant roel in how they handle thier patients.

How well do you know your gyn? if you have been seeing them for a while, then it is easier to talk to them about these issues. Also having a female gyn can help make the process much easier.Most gyns ask if you are sexually active during or before the exam.Use that as an starter. saying yes and there have been some difference recently that you would like to speak to her about. Then explain that you are experiencing some discomforft and pain after orgasms. Also mention the fact that it seems to be more painful now than it used to and that your endurance seems to have deminished. I know that this is something that is difficult to discuss, but it is something that needs to be done.

Brenda


05/31/2011 08:25 AM
tiff0089
tiff0089Posts: 220
Member

Yes. I have talked to several therapists. I haven't seen one regularly since I was 17 or 18, so about ten years ago.

I'm begining to think that it is emotional and not pysical. I have noticed that as long as I do not think about anything terrible, like past relationships or things like "well, he would have done this that way" or whatever and stay in the moment and focused on him then it doesn't hurt. I talked to my boyfriend about it and he was very understanding. Since then, things seemed to have improved a little. My endurance is still not what I would like, but at least he has been able to keep going until he acheives an orgasm.

I would still like to go back to the doc to make sure there is not anything physically wrong with me, because its always better safe than sorry. Unfortunately, I bounce around a lot from doctor to doctor because I have not found one I like so I have not had a steady gyn. Lately I have been going to the health clinic and I have received better care there than at a family practice or private practice! Kinda ironic, huh?

Anyway, thank you for your help. I will let you know how things go.

Oh btw, you are right about sex being a good thing and I think I need to realize that more. I am still in the mindset that it is either a way for someone to control you or hurt you or it is what you do to have a baby. I still kind of feel guilty for enjoying it. I am fortunate to finally be in a good relationship so maybe my mindset will start changing a little. Thanks again Smile


12/14/2011 11:03 PM
BDSMVEGAS48
 
Posts: 8
New Member

tiff0089, I was reading about what happened to you when you were young and how painful sex was after your orgasm. You may have had mico-tears in your vagina when you were abused. These tears since healed a may have left small scars in your vagina. During intercourse your vagina may not be getting all the blood it needs. Once this starts to happen, intercourse can become painful. I would try using some asprin or viagera before intercourse. Please get back and tell us if this worked.

All the Best. Cheerful

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