Healthy Sex Support Group

is this what marriage is come too? in order to be a kool wife or have a long marriage you need to be ok with your man going to the strip club or you going with him. watching as much porn as your brain can take and having 3-some or being swingers. I'm OK with the porn thing i just don't wanna watch it every waking min or every time its on TV. how many of y'all are in these kinds of r-ship and how is it working? do i need to jump on the band wagon?

my husband and his ex wife used to be swingers and he brings it up now and then and asks...it used to appeal to me until i remember why they used to do it...to spice up the marriage and fulfill fantacies...some stuff id be into but we agree it would be about us not because we arent happy. and we are happy....when we thing about doing it we cant get the courage too haha...dont do it if your not comfortable. im not and he couldnt handle watching me with another man. he respects me too much. and i couldnt handle it either. i dont think those are real marriages just an excuse..it blew there marriage because you let it happen with you there...whats to say he wont take it a step further?

My ex husband and I had a relationship with another woman that ended badly unfortunately. Needless to say he left me for her and now they're together. In a way I'm glad thought because I'm with a much better man now who is not emotionally and verbally abusive towards me like my ex was. However, my situation is different from yours. I see nothing wrong with those types of relationships AS LONG AS both parties are completely comfortable with the idea and don't feel like they have to do it to 'spice up' the marriage or be 'cool' or be seen as more acceptable. You should do it because you want to, not because you're trying to please someone else or make yourself look more appealing in their eyes. As for the excessive porn watching, there is a limit. Talk with your partner about your concerns. If he loves you and cares about you, he'll listen to what you have to say.

No, you do not have to do those things if you do not want to. If your hubby needs those things it's his problem, not yours. It seems to me he needs help but he needs to recognize it and want to get help for his own self-interest. I know this because i myself am seeking help for porn addiction.

I pray he will come to that realization and that you both find peace.

You need to be going to church and your husband needs to get help for his porn addiction. This is very unhealthy thinking for a mans spirit.

oh honey hes got the problem not you! wanting you to do all of those things is not being a "kool" husband. you should try to have a serious discussion with him about your feelings on this. if he blows you off... i dont know. i know i dont want my man at the strip club. best of luck.

I can understand watching a bit of porn here and there, the threways and evne being swingers; but if you are not alright with these things, he should not be asking. I see no sense in needing to go to strip clubs,alone or both of you together. Anything you are uncomfortable with you should not do.

Brenda

my boyfriend and I watched a little porn when we first got together but not much anymore.

it is like selling of the self, if both of you are not in to it, do what you feel comfortable to you. reason i do not believe in marriage anymore. i do not want to feel owned. my 1st wife and i use like porn and swinging. she liked it more than i did, i use to tell her what ever floated your boat. i was not a jealous type. she died and it is hard to find another like her. she was one of a kind. we had some wonderful years.

Post edited by: lken, at: 11/12/2012 04:41 PM

I have shared my wife with other men for the last 30 plus years, it has strengthened our marriage and we both enjoy it. This lifestyle doesn’t work for every couple, but it has worked very well for us.

We're not into strip or swinging clubs and porn.