Healthy Sex Support Group

Hi Im new here. Been married 7 years but the last 3 years my husband has been dealing with ed. It sucks. Wondering if anyone else is dealing with this. I feel like no one understands what i am going thru

This board is slow

My S.O. has the same problem plus a few others. There are fixes out there but he is too stubborn and embarrassed to request them. Occasionally, he can masturbate himself to climax but never with me. I could tear my hair (and his) out. Yeah, I love him but he had better work on this part of our relationship. I did notice that even when he masturbates, it takes him an inordinate amount of time to climax. I feel for him: I really do but he has to take some responsibility for himself.

i have ed from diabetes, it is not just the ed, but having diabetes 2, keeps your energy level down pretty low, also i am bipolar and have neuropathy so i take gabapentin which deadens nervous system for pain. takes a very long time to eject when i can. but when i do i feel so tired and it depresses me. lower hormone levels i suspect, so i have been reading about and testing Chinese method of the big draw, you can organism without ejecting. this how the emperors use to deal with so many concubines and energy level does not drop. they would have intercourse many times a day but only eject with #1 wife so they could have heirs.

I'm dealing with it too after not dealing with it for years. My partner does everything right: talks about it with me and his doctors, is willing to take meds (Viagra works, but only at twice the recommended dose and we can't afford it), and does absolutely everything right between the sheets that he is physically capable of doing.

I've done enough research to know that his problems are similar to what Iken mentioned above, but the meds simply cannot be tweaked.

It took us years to get past the shame and embarrassment. I broke up with him numerous times because I thought he was cheating on me. I cheated on him in retaliation. I've even accused him of some pretty unspeakable perversions because I thought that's why he wasn't interested in me.

I'm ready to move on and accept reality and live with it now. I'd rather be with my partner than with anyone else. The thought of having a "guy on the side" makes me want to chew off my own leg to escape from a trap.

Everybody's got problems and my partner and I have already overcome much worse than this. I don't want to make him hate himself for three days every time I try to initiate sex, but I'm human; he's an extremely attractive man and I want to make love to him, not use him as a human dildo. The fact that I can't makes me feel something that is so indistinguishable from rage and depression that it feels almost odd to label it "sexual desire", but it peaks at the time I ovulate and corresponds to measurable hormonal fluctuations of perimenopause, so that's what it is and that's what I have to call it.

It's tolerable when I can cuddle up with him all night long and know that he's enjoying it. It doesn't go away when I am sexually satisfied because I still want to satisfy HIM and I don't know what is possible, pleasurable, and what he can and cannot feel. It seems like there should be some good info and matter-of-fact, bad-joke-free info out there but I can't find anything for women unless you count the naughty scene with Jon Voight and Jane Fonda in "Coming Home" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X3C4g400tE&list=UU2yN_iHKHNpbvZxuqsF3aYA&index=5&feature=plcp

Hi Everyone. Just wanted to say I hope all can find resolution to these situations.

Post edited by: Diane2483, at: 04/17/2012 11:26 AM

My wife and I have been dealing with my ED for the last 30 years, it doesn't go away. You and your spouse will have to decide what is the best approach for you to take in dealing with ED, there is no one way that works for every couple. It takes a lot of communication and effort on both parties. My wife and I tried toys, drugs, videos, and everything else we could think of before we came up with a way that works for us, but I don’t recommend it for most other couples.

My boyfriend and I are going through the same thing. Even though we're young (both 19) and have been together for over a year, I know I want to spend my life with him. But his ED problems do get in the way. We thought it was because of his Adderal, but even when he stopped taking it every day, he still had problems. I don't know whether to think it's me sometimes, and as it is, I have body issues. But he refuses to go see his doctor about it, whether it's being prescribed something or changing his ADD medication.

But I understand completely, we've had some pretty bad fights over it. He does get very upset and angry when things don't work out, and he has some anger issues. When I try to calm him down he doesn't believe I'm okay with it and things just go downhill from there.

Until he builds up the courage to go talk to his doctor about it, all we can do is just talk about it, calmly and in a light hearted manner. So far, it's been workoing great with both of our frustrations.

I know I am coming in a bit late on this one, but have an of you tried natural remedies, or foods that are known for inhancing ones sex life? I know the watermelon and tomatoes work wonders for my husband. Foods high in Zink, capsaicin, increases androsterone production, bromiline, Vitamin B6, potassium, iron, vitamin E, essential fatty acids, folic acid, allicin, and cacao all help with different aspects of the experience, from increasing blood flow, to increased sensitivity, or heart rate. Some are specific to the genital region, while others are an overall the body effect. Here is a list of foods that could help as well.

Watermelon

Tomato

Mint

Garlic

Figs

Celery

Chile peppers

Pumpkin seeds

Maca, a root originally from Peru

Avocados

Asparagus

Oysters

Sauerkraut

Bananas

Almonds

Basil

Cardamom

Eggs

Fish

Soy

Steak

Broccoli

Goji Berries

I didn't read where anyone got their testosterone levels checked. That would be my first recommendation. There are Bioidentical Hormone testosterone treatments for men in the forms of gels, injections and pellets. Pellets seem to work the best. They are tiny compressed pellets that are inserted under the skin on the rear or in the stomach. They will last up to 5 months.

Normally a man's Testosterone levels run 350 to 1100 as normal. I know men that got the pellets when their T levels dropped to under 500. Dosages ranged from 1200 to 1600mgs. Results were: easier to achieve erections, morning erections, harder erections and easier orgasms and increased libido.

I can't say whether they will work for men with diabetes and on certain meds. But a doctor that specializes in Bioidential Hormone Pellets will have that knowledge.

I'm pretty knowledgeable about the pellets because I get them too. However, I get estrogen pellets and testosterone pellets in a much lower dose. I had a hysterectomy that took away my libido. Within 48 hours of getting the pellets, my libido came roaring back like a freight train!

Here is a link for more information:

http://www.hormonebalance.org/pellets.php