Healthy Relationships Online Support Group

Hello everyone....I joined the Bipolar support group originally but I am having some issues that could mean I need to be in here.

I am having serious issues in my marriage, that I have no idea what to do about.

We've been together about 4 years, and during that time we have separated three times. Upon getting back together this past spring, it hasn't been easy. The same old problems started and there simply are too many differences. We have no similar interests, or very few. I feel very uncomfortable around him, as he has a very selfish and tempermental personality. I also am a selfish person. I am so overwhelmed with problems in this relationship. He doesn't want to talk about anything. We agreed to separate again, as soon as my semester is over at school next month, but this means I have to go back to MD to live with my folks. Actually, they tell me that I seem happier without him.

I am scared to death to live without my marriage though. I feel stuck, either way involves heartache.

Welcome to the group. I am sorry that you are going through this with your marriage. You said your family says that you seem happier without him. Do you feel that you are happier without him? If so why? Is it becauase he makes you feel uneasy?

Also have you guys tried counseling?

He would think counseling is a waste of time and money, plus we have no health care anyway. I do feel better w/o him around a lot of the time, only because he has a serious lack of compassion for what I go through with being Bipolar. The worst thing though is how we have no common goals. I talk about things that I love, and doesn't show a bit of interest. Also he wants children and I do not.

Those are serious issues chill. Did you guys talk about these things before you got married?

I had no idea about BP before I married him. We had agreed children were a bad idea then, but things change. We both have changed a lot. I guess I was pretty reckless and headstrong when I married him....nobody thought it was a good idea, yet I thought I as "in love"

I think you need to look deep within yourself and see if you are still in love with him and if this relationship is worth the amount of work it takes to have a successful relationship. I am so sorry for you going through this- it must be heartbreaking.

Chillpill, I sort of understand where you are coming from. I have residents in the past that married for all the wrong reasons. I was about to evict them when I got a crazy idea, I called them into the office and handed them each a not pad and a pen and had them write all the reasons they got married. After reading the list the only common reason was liked each other. They had noting in common and nothing to share. I got each of them started on doing some of the things they wanted to do, then got a list that they liked to do together. They each scheduled time away from each other and then scheduled time to be together. This worked for some time, they moved out into a house together and everyonce in a while they invite me to dinner. They did not have much in common at first but they have taken things from each others list and they try it to see if could like. Hey the relationship is not perfect they still fight but their fights are shorter and do not involve the cops anymore. Give it a try