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01/15/2011 12:44 PM

As to the "intense mothering thing"

2steveb
2steveb  
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Boadacia, you started a good topic shall we all persue it here? healthy relations, well they do include family/children so where would we like to pick up from? For me, at 12 i had spent my life being trained as a cathederal chorester so i was a social misfit, no social life, then i got hit and killed by a car so when i was revived and sent home i was a new born child mentally. so wooo- healthy relationships at 75 i dont know who my dad is, at 72 my mum is a battle axe always pushing and telling/motivating so who am i??????

this ties in nicly with duckydawns thread of 'let', if i was let looose to do my own thing id be -i shudder to think, if my parents wernt let do do what they thought best at the time for me where would i be??

thoughts anyone?

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01/15/2011 06:54 PM
jenn123
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Posts: 1264
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Up until about 5 years ago, my mom and i were always close...altho i didnt agree with her parenting style, she has always been a loving mother and has done the best she can. She is most definatly a better grandmother then she was mother.

I dont think that my daughter and i will ever have a healthy relationship. Its jst to hard to get close to a child with reactive attachment disorder as they are always pushing you away...i have set limits with her and tried to guide her with the disipline that i was not raised with but i dont feel that i can teach her right from wrong or keep her safe because she wont do anything that i ask of her. I morn the relationship that i thought we would have when i first adopted her but im realistic enough to relize that we will probly never be close.

On a happier note- when i was pregnant with my son my mom and i were astrained but the night i gave birth to him she showed up at the hospital (tear tear) so i got to hold her hand in the delivery room and she got to be there when he was born. She loves him dearly and he is slowly helping to heal our family Smile Smile Smile

Post edited by: jenn123, at: 01/15/2011 07:10 PM


01/15/2011 07:08 PM
patty777

Jenn, I really do feel for you. I'm sorry your daughter has this disorder, it only gets worse after they get older. I hate to say , it seems your in a no win situation.

So try the best you can do, thats all parents of Special needs children can do...Gentle Hugs to you.


01/16/2011 04:22 AM
2steveb
2steveb  
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thanks for that jenn, puts others little moans and gripes into perspective ah, all anyone can do is the best they can with what they have no more can be expected. sure sounds like as a mum your doing a good job with yours, its just a shame your adoptec daughter came with damages your trying to put right for her, that noble many would give up and get rid. your doing a good job when shes old enough to rationalise and with help im sure the two of you will be best mates.

01/16/2011 06:21 AM
mehman
mehman  
Posts: 3136
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Jenn you have my up most respect for hanging in there with your daughter where most would have given up and the fact that she is your adopted daughter and not biological makes it even more of a huge respect for you. It is one thing to take care of and raise a special needs child that is your own(which is very difficult) but to take on the challenge of adopting one and raising one is a whole different story...not many people would do that.I have a huge respect for you...hang in there and she is one lucky little girl to have you. Hugs...marsha

01/16/2011 12:08 PM
2steveb
2steveb  
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right behind you mehman as im sure we all are, keep up your good work jenn

01/16/2011 01:19 PM
jenn123
jenn123  
Posts: 1264
Senior Member

thanks for the encouraging words, she can have a sense of humor when she wants too, lol

Her new hamster...


01/16/2011 01:53 PM
2steveb
2steveb  
Posts: 6379
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lovely red eyes for a young girl (OWWW ONLY JOKING)im sure she will settle down soon enough what say the rest of you, shes sure got a dedicated mum

01/16/2011 02:08 PM
mehman
mehman  
Posts: 3136
Senior Member

Very dedicated...if only all the abused children in the world had a mom or dad like Jenn the world would be a much better place...hats off to you jenn..you do deserve it.

01/16/2011 02:15 PM
patty777

Jenn She is a beautiful girl, you are a good Mother...don't ever forget that!!!
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